- —Alf
Appearing in "Back to School Daze"
Featured Characters:
- ALF
- Willie Tanner
- Kate Tanner
- Lynn Tanner
- Brian Tanner
Supporting Characters:
- Dr. Bob Bradbury
Other Characters:
- Various College Graduates
Locations:
- San Fernando Valley, California
- California Correspondence College
Items:
- Willie's HAM radio
- Radio receiver/earring
Vehicles:
- Tanner Stationwagon
Synopsis for "Back to School Daze"
ALF receives a large envelope telling him that he's been accepted by a correspondence college. Having seen the ads showing happy kids going to class, ALF wishes to get his equivalency diploma since he was unable to complete college on Melmac before it was destroyed. Willie and Kate are against the idea at first, but then agree to it although regret their decision after receiving the bill for $872.43 in textbooks and scientific equipment.
Time passes, and ALF ignores his homework. He finally begins to use the scientific equipment Willie paid for, but only to make spider cider, and when Lynn tells ALF and Brian its time to do their homework, they ignore her and watch the baseball game on television. Finally, after weeks pass, Kate reminds him that his final paper is due in a few days and that he should stop being a procrastinator and start it. Finally, days later, ALF starts to crack down and work late to finish his paper. Willie asks him what he's writing about, and ALF explains that he thought about writing how to spin straw into gold or create a matter/anti-matter mousetrap, but decided to write his paper about the most baffling problem in the universe - how a thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!
A few days later, ALF is becoming anxious for the letter with his grades. The doorbell rings, and Willie answers it. At the door is Dr. Bob Bradbury, Dean of California Correspondence College, looking for a "G. Shumway". Willie, uncertain what to do, quickly introduces Kate as "Grace Shumway", and Dr. Bradbury informs Kate that she'll be giving the commencement speech at tomorrow's graduation as the valedictorian! After Dr. Bradbury leaves, they gang up on ALF, but he explains that he has a plan. He'll rig up a two-way radio that Kate can wear as an earring, so that he can hear the ceremony and she can hear him.
The next day at the California Correspondence College, Dr. Bradbury introduces Kate as Grace Shumway the class valedictorian with her final paper Thermos Theory Thesis, but states that it should have been addressed to the Creative Writing Department as it was the funniest short story he had ever read. ALF is furious that they didn't take his paper seriously, and when Kate gets up to the microphone to give her acceptance speech he interrupts her over the radio with wise-cracking jokes aimed at the Dean and the other students. The entire class applaud her as a great comedienne, and both Kate and Willie take the opportunity to take their bows and get out of there fast. Back in the car, Kate informs ALF that Melmacian hunting season has now officially opened and that her frying pan's going to make quite an impression on his head. But just as Kate is about to tell ALF where he can put his diploma, ALF turns off the speaker and reminds her that this is a comic book!
Appearing in "May I Have This Dance?"
Featured Characters:
- ALF
- Kate Tanner
- Lynn Tanner
Supporting Characters:
- Rhonda
Antagonists:
- Tom Bruise
Other Characters:
- Sergeant Staff
- Fleetwood Melmac
- Other Unnamed Melmacians
Locations:
- San Fernando Valley, California
- Melmac
Items:
- Chewing Gum Dueling Box
Synopsis for "May I Have This Dance?"
Lynn shows ALF some of her pictures from last years prom, which remind ALF of his own senior class dance at the Orbit Guard Academy. ALF and his girlfriend Rhonda were getting ready for the dance, which also doubles as a costume party. Rhonda is dressing as a mermaid, and Gordon as a Melmako shark, due to the dance's theme being "Kingdom Beneath the Sea". As they arrive at the dance, they are greeted at the door by Sergeant Staff. Gordon has handled the decorating, as well as hiring the hottest band around - Fleetwood Melmac. Everything was going great until a man named Tom Bruise, a jealous classmate who always came in second to Gordon, showed up. Tom had a huge crush on Rhonda and challenged Gordon to the Melmale Rutting Ritual, but both are thrown out of the dance to settle their differences outside.
Rhonda joins them outside with the dueling box, containing many different flavors of dueling bubble gum. Gordon gets to choose, and he picks grape. The rules are simple - when two dominant Melmacian males battle for a female, they see who can blow the biggest bubble. Only one can be "Top Gum". However this is complicated by the fact that on Melmac, they inhale methane and exhale helium, therefore overly aggressive males tend to float away, never to be seen again! Gordon was infuriated by Tom's remarks and doesn't concentrate while blowing his bubble. He blows his bubble too big, and begins to float away into the sky. While Tim take his chance to grab Rhonda, Gordon quickly unfastens the pin that held his boutonniere and jabs the bubble. He manages to gain control of the wild bubble and steer it in the direction of Tom Bruise landing it smack on top of him incasing him in a huge sticky mess of gum! As Gordon and Rhonda return to the dance victorious, it's Tom Bruise who gets the last laugh by winning the costume contest as the "Purple Slime Serpent from the Sargastic Sea"!
After finishing the story, ALF is unable to remember why he came upstairs in the first place before Lynn interrupted him. Then, when Kate bursts out of the bathroom shouting about the twenty-pound octopus defrosting in the bathtub, he suddenly remembers why!
Appearing in "Small Worlds!"
Featured Characters:
- ALF
- Willie Tanner
Supporting Characters:
- Unnamed Hermit Scientist
Other Characters:
- Various Unnamed Bikini-clad Single Women
Locations:
- The Countryside, near Quartz Hills, California
- Melmac
Items:
- Long-range Electron Telescope
Vehicles:
- Tanner Stationwagon
Synopsis for "Small Worlds!"
ALF and Willie are out for a drive in the country when their station wagon suddenly gets a flat tire. They pull over to fix it, but find that the spare tire is just as flat as the other one. Willie tells ALF that he'll now have to walk back the four miles to Quartz Hills to get it filled, but ALF doesn't want to be left locked up inside a hot car for hours waiting for him to return. Willie can't risk taking ALF with him, so he tells ALF to wait down by the nearby river in the woods. If anyone sees him they'll think he's a muskrat.
ALF walks down to the riverside, but is startled by his own stomach growling. Looking around for something to eat, he spots a small frog sitting on a rock in the river. Seeing his chance to have frog legs without the snotty French waiter, he leaps at the frog to catch it. The frog jumps away, and ALF lands headfirst into the water. The current begins to wash him down stream, but ALF is finally able to grab hold of a tree root and pull himself back to shore. He shakes himself dry, just like Lassie did in the old reruns, and ends up spreading about two pounds of loose fur over the area. Just as he's about to walk away, he hears a nearby tree sneeze. ALF jumps up to take a look inside the tree to see if anyone's inside, but a hand bursts out of the hollow tree and knocks him back onto the ground.
The hand tells ALF to stay away, and that he's a hermit who just wants to be left alone. ALF tells him he doesn't own the entire forest, but before he can leave the hermit tells him to come back. The hermit explains that many years ago he had been considered one of the brightest young astronauts in the world. He had just finished building his first long-range electron telescope, and had pointed it in the direction of the Aldente Nebula one night to make a startling discovery. He had found a new undiscovered planet, which he had determined (read off a space billboard) that the planet's name was Melmac. He spent several months confirming his discovery, then when the day came to reveal his discovery to the Galileo Society Melmac was gone. As if it had exploded into thin air. He was disgraced and humiliated, and ran away from society to live in the woods. ALF tells him he was right and that Melmac was there, and that he was just a victim of bad timing. ALF informs him that if he looks at the mouth of the constellation Leo he'll see a piece of Melmac that's still there. ALF tries to pull the hermit out of the tree, but ends up uprooting the dead tree which falls into the river with the hermit inside. The tree falls over the nearby waterfalls, only to end up at the bottom where he floats right into the San Diego Single Woman's Club campout and is surrounded by beautiful single women in skimpy swimsuits! What luck!
ALF hears the sound of a distant horn honking, and quickly returns to the station wagon where Willie is waiting for him. Willie asks him where he was, and ALF just tells him that he was communing with nature and that he's in the mood to listen to a tape of the Greatest Hits of Herman's Hermits!