Benjamin Grimm (Earth-616)/Quotes

Maybe I am a monster! I look like one—and sometimes I feel like one!

I don't want any part of that fancy pants dinner!

I sure hope we find 'im soon! I'm just itchin' to tangle with that over-rated creep!

First guy to ask me ta make a speech gets a fat lip!

Y'know, I love that hot-head like a brother! And I'll brain the first guy who ever tells 'im!

I love Alicia, and she loves me best as ... The Thing! So why don't you forget about tryin' to change me back, and work on some way to make her see again instead?

Sure, Sure! I'm just a big, fat, handsome hero! Now get outta the way -- I got things to do!

The only thing worse than hating a Yancy Streeter is havin' to be grateful to one!

Look, big fella! You proved your point! We know you're not a 97-pound weakling! Now why don't you calm down and let's talk this over...??

X-Men! Big deal! They're just a bunch of cornballs, if you ask me! Who'd they ever lick?

Forget the Yancy Street Gang? That's like forgetting Pearl Harbor!

Maybe I am a monster! I look like one—and sometimes I feel like one!

One of us has got to say it! we've lost our powers!! All of us!!

Yeah, you got each other--! But you ain't got me! Not anymore! I'm thru bein the fall guy for this combo! You divvy up the glamor, but me -- I'm still the Thing! I got the short end of the stick on this whole deal! You can git married, but not me! You can be normal -- but not me! Well I've had it! I'm thru!

I shoulda gotten wise to you long ago! You made me a sap for years! But the Wizard opened my eyes... and now you're gonna get it!

I know how it feels to be a misfit -- to haveta depend on yer strength -- because ya ain't got anythin' else to offer anyone!

'N now I got some real friendly advice, chum! Don't start readin' any continued stories if ya can help it!

Don'tcha even get a coffee break in this blasted super-heroin' business?

Hey, Stretch! Now that ya talked us into stayin' here in the micro-world to fight Psycho Man... how in the name'a Aunt Petunia are we gonna find 'im?

Let's see if I can live up to a few of my headlines and put a dent in Hirohito's air budget before they put a permanent dent in me!

I'm always runnin' inta some big-talkin' joker who thinks he can whup the ol'FF! But we're still here, see? Which is more'n ya can say fer them other far-out foul-ups!

Wotta dump! Not even one pin-up of Raquel Welch!

If ya find any big bad villians, Stretcho can always talk'em to death!

I'm Ben Grimm again! The Real Ben Grimm!

Someone almost kiboshed me with one crummy punch-- an' I never even got a look at the creep! If they ever find out about this on Yancy Street-- ferget it!

This is the way Dory Funk, Jr. always starts 'rasslin' matches... and if it's good enough for the champ... it's good enough for ol' Benjamin Grimm!

Why that crummy rat! He's gotta be settin' me up -- fer a trap! 'n' if he thinks I'm gonna fall for it -- he's freakin' right!

Head's Up Handsome -- Cause I'm gonna knock yers off!

Face it Richards. This is it... The end of the Fantastic Four!

I been the one an' only Thing fer too long now ta let a hunk o'muck steal my thunder!

B-but ya can't make a blasted baby-sitter outta me-- Ya mackeral brain-- Ya-- Ya-- Aw Nuts!!

Now s'pose we talk about this like gentlemen... or I'll knock your block off!

That sinks it fer me, Stretch. Let's go git them Baboons!

Uh, say Doc, Who's the clown in the bird suit?

I've had it! From now on, you three can fight Doc Doom all by yer lonesomes! Every time I put the kibosh on 'im, he turns out ta be a blasted robot!

So you ain't gonna talk, huh? Well, lemme tell you somethin', buster -- St. Pete ain't nothin' ta write home about, but that don't give you the right to take it off the map! So knock it off before I get mad an' clobber ya!

Why, you overblown pile o' scrap iron, I'll-- Hey! What in the name of Aunt Petunia's goin' on here?

This year, or any year, the Big Apple's still my fav'rite city!

... I still say ol' Fish-Face and Doc Doom deserve each other!

Fact is, I never heard of the Liberty Legion before...

You stole that Cube from Project Pegasus and we aim to get it back -- any way we can

Aunt Petunia's Girdle! What happening?

Them blamed Yancy Streeters never miss my birthday! Last year they sent itchin' powder. Maybe if I shake it, I can... Holy -- it's tickin'!

Don't make an ash out of yourself, Junior!

Ugly geek, ain't he?

... When creeps like you go an' call me names -- I get real angry. An' when Gentle Ben gets angry --It's Clobberin' Time!

Just Keep Clobberin'!

Torchy, I got a feeling we ain't in Kansas anymore!

Jeez, givin' artificial respiration to an Arcturan mutant wasn't covered in my Boy Scout Handbook...

How about lightin' my see-gar before you hustle your way out?

It feels like we wuz just drop-kicked by Galactus!

You ain't seen the last of me by a long-shot, Hot Stuff. Without yers turly, who'd provide the glamour fer th' group?

Aunt Petunia!

Stop bellyachin', creep! I don't tell ya my problems! But don't worry, pal! Soon all your problems will be over, 'cause--it's clobberin' time!

Don't think I've ever been hit that hard.

There ain't no bathrooms in the Negative Zone!

Reed's gone and got himself done up like the Wizard of Oz!

Hey kiddies, do you know what time it is? It's clobberin' time!

Boy, if there's one thing burns my butt more'n anything it's a super-goon makin' speeches!

I wanna see th' big boss, an' no guff!

Without the FF, the Baxter Buildin' was beginnin' ta feel like a haunted house.

Keep away from me Suzie. I don't wanna hafta hurt ya.

Holy Cow! It's the Frankenstein Monster!!

I ain't goin' back, Reed! Not yet, anyway! I figured you'd need somebody strong to keep bailin' you outta trouble, so I asked She-Hulk to take my place!

Why is it always me everyone comes ta for help?! I'm only human! It just ain't fair! It just... AIN'T FAIR!

I hate Utah. I hate magicians. I hope the Hulk's enjoying my bath.

Aw, for cryin' out loud -- ! It's clobberin' time -- ! I guess... ... Of all the revoltin' developments -- ! Why am I doin' this? I hate that son-of-a-snake in th' grass more'n' I hate myself! I hate savin' his butt -- ! But, when th' chips are down, dad-blast it -- somewhere deep down in my guts...oww! I guess I know what I gotta do! For one, I gotta twist your nose off fer that cheap shot, Rhino!

Read my lips, Hawkeye! No! N-O! Never in a million years! Nix! Negatory! Not in your life! Thanks but no thanks an' BYE!

But the reason I came -- is ta ask ya ta stop lookin' for me, already! I gotta go away, an' I can't tell ya why! But I gotta go -- an' for the sake o' the friendship I hope we still got, you gotta LET me!

Y'know somethin' stretcho? You're as corny as ever!

@$%#@, She-Hulk -- move! We got a lot of panels to fasten onto this framework before Richards' big-deal ray cannon will work right!

Brothers have been hatin' each other since Cain and Abel, Susie. The lucky ones don't let it get the best of 'em.

Ya did this to us...on purpose. Makes sense. Explains a lot.

Really? And, here I thought them androids were gonna try 'n sells us a batch'a girl scout cookies!

Where do we catch the next trolley for the 23rd century, Gloria Steinhem version?

Have ya ever tried to get out without usin' yer board?

You got whut I useta have, Double M! Me, I could take the Hulk now--an' I'm gonna take Master Panda-Bear's block off if he don't give up!

I useta worry ya wouldn't like me if I were Ben Grimm, insteada the Thing, Alicia! Ain't it nice fer both'a us that it don't matter any more?

I haven't had that much fun in a montha Sundays! Makes me feel like my old self again!

Didn't we finish lockin' up all the bad guys last week, Suzy?

I just keep wonderin' who sent those pint-sized ballistic missiles after us... an' why. An' if it is Frank, how did he come back in time... an' what sorta horrible things is he running away from?

That's real funny matchhead. If it wuzn't for a guy like me providin' a good example, you'd probably be out stealin' hubcaps somewhere!

Can we just kick his butt now?

If I didn't know better, I'd swear ya wuz bitten by a radioactive thesaurus.

I ain't exactly famous fer my sense a' humor!

You're our ticket outta here, an' I've a mind to have my ticket punched!

Ya sound like a man who's finishin' his last inning... but I thought you X-Men always come back from the dead!

It feels like we wuz just drop-kicked by Galactus!

So I guess that means Thor an' Sif is history. No -- not history, 'cause they're mythical beings -- outta fairy tales. Only they ain't gonna live happily ever after! Matter of fact -- they ain't gonna live at all!

Just what I needed...annuder mystery. If the Thinker ain't controlling the Adaptoid----then who is?!

Sniff! You bet... all the way, lady... Just don't' tell anyone ya saw me blubberin' like a baby.

Sheesh-- --if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!

That's the last time I try mouth-ta-mouth resuscitation with a guy that calls himself a thunder god...

Ahh... Gotta be somethin' in the air I'm allergic ta! Feels like my eyes'll start waterin an' I'll be all sniffly any second now! Not ta mention my knees're weak as a... newborn...

Maybe ya gotta be an outcast yerself ta understand--ta really see what happened here. I think that Moley found out fer the first time that he was wanted--needed really...loved, if ya follow me......even if it was only by other outcasts.

Whatever we had between us, Alicia, whatever comes in the future......I am first and foremost, your best friend. And as your friend, wherever your heart leads......I wish you joy, and ev'ry happiness.

Lady-- -- or whatever the heck you are -- -- I got my three favorite words fer you: It's clobberin' time!

The only time it is, spock-ears-- --is clobberin' time!

If you can find a place like that for yourself, green-skin.. ...more power to ya.

Ain't never seen that side o' him before--like he wuz possessed fer a spell there--an' then he's back t' "Hulk smash!"

I see someone -- movin' in the rubble! There's a survivor!

Hey... don't you kids have school? Have you seen any living planets around here? And can you explain N'Sync to me?

Lissen, genius. We ain't called "The Fantastic Three." Besides, I told ya, I never felt more right in my life.

Nobody hurts that little hothead, ya crumb bum! That's my job!

The Zone. Only place where I could win a beauty contest!

Lockjaw's her dog, kid! Her dog! So she went home ta visit-- so what?! At least you got a girl -- an' can hold her in your arms without worryin' about crushin' her! At least you got a life!

Okay, which one of you shysters is Nelson and which one is Murdock?

Another revoltin' development! I ain't good enough t'be Gudenov!

Would ja believe he took time off... ...to go west and find his fame and fortune in the movie business!

Don't worry, ma -- I'll take care of you. Just like Danny did.

Ain't life a peach.

They may be a bunch o' nutty idjits, but they're all just as good at clobberin' as I am! How in blazes am I s'posed ta fight a damn army o' me?

Ignorance was bliss.

Oh, it's time all right. It's clobberin' time!

Aw, who you kiddin', Ben? After all this time, you know there's only one constant in life. Things never change.

Their costumes are bowling shirts? Let 'em take the collar, Reed. They need the money.

My point, an' I got one, is this: Safety ain't all it's cracked up t' be. Not if ya live a life worth th' risks. Sure, I coulda wallowed over one lousy break instead o' facin' th' world. An' some days, I still do. I backslide. And yer gonna do that, too. It's hard not ta. Yer gonna get lost in th' bad. But so long as ya got folks around who love ya, ya gotta remember tomorrow c'n always be better.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm too dumb ta die. Or maybe I just love my family and you forgot one thing...the FF is first and always......family!

Yer smart enuff not ta complain--around me, at least--about y'r looks. And I'd give anything f'r him not to 've put the whammy on ya. But I......I mean it messed ya up in th' head.

Funny. Always figgered I'd die... closer t' Yancy Street. Only regret... wish I wuz home. Wotta revoltin' development this is. Wotta rev

It's good t'be together again......one last time.

I got a bad feeling about this. Extra-friggin'terrestrials, am I right?

But like the sayin' goes, they gotta take you in when no one else will. And from the sound of it, Cole got taken--hook, line and sinker.

Research? Uh, pal? You ain't in grad school anymore...

...little third-party evidence-- --of who really won that fight!

"Not a monster..."...yer the monster!

Wait a sec, Shulkie, did he say it like this? "I'm sorry, Old Friend. But it looks like you'll stay this way forever"

Yeah, Suzie--At least let us help. We ain't "The Fantastic one."

Don't sweat it, Kragoff. I'm not really going to hit you. We're the good guys, remember?

I mean... c'mon. This is us, right? Whatever happens, we stand together. Always have......always will.

...that's just how it always ends for us monsters, sooner or later.

Cool yer heels and quit callin' me Rock Man. It's the Thing and you know it! There's a fight, but it ain't between you and me, big guy.

So, Doc......come here often?

And first and foremost, it means when I'm on the case......nobody dies. Period.

Then I made a little joke, and said maybe the only way to really protect the world from the Hulk if he ever goes really nuts is ta stick him in a rocket and shoot him out into space--let him be somebody else's problem.

You know, sometimes it just takes one day, one day with yer family to make ya realize somethin'......that money don't mean nuthin', and that they love ya anyway. Even if you have been actin' like a billion dollar idiot!

--it's clobberin' time! TM, copyrighted, patent pending, supplies limited, order now, offer not valid in some states.

Oh trust me, Sandy -- I'm tickled ta' death!

Actually, Pete, it's kinda like I got a whole new super power... and with that power comes a lot a' responsibility. That make any sense?

Hey, just 'cause sumthin's broke, just 'cause it ain't perfect......don't mean it ain't beautiful. Sometimes all them cracks an' flaws......they tell a story. They give it heart. An' sometimes that makes what ya got......a classic!

It's like when that hammer fell, it tilted the whole country toward Oklahoma -- and anything that's not nailed down is rolling right toward it.

Look at me! Look at what I am! We shoot ourselves into space... Like a buncha amateurs! And this is what we get! This is what I get!

Heck, I'm glad I got this second life. In fact, if you ask me, I think......I'm the luckiest guy there is!

Don't you see what you're doing? Don't you see that you're tearing apart everything that makes this place worth fighting for? Look around! Take a long freaking look around!

Now, I ain't anybody to be setting any examples -- but getting ANGRY? Ain't gonna change the fact that we lost one of the greats.

Memories are only good when they're shared with people. People who understand what makes those memories special. After all... what good is there in bein' labeled an island icon if there's no one there to brag about it to? Trust me on this... I know. I'm the man they call El Morrito.

Jeez-Louise, but my Fantasti-sense is buzzing to beat the band...oh...my...Aunt...Petunia...

I hope ya still got that healin' factor, short-stuff!

Okay, I'm sure this's interesting and all, but if we don't actually fight the bad guys, we'll lose our hero license!

Because guys like you and me, we take our victories where we can get 'em. And I can see plenty of people who think, today was a complete success.

Somebody go tell Reed to get me a big gun.

Here's my rule: I'm the good guy. And if there's someone hittin' me...they're the bad guy.

In real life, you three had new powers from the cosmic rays, like me... You could fight back... But in this dream, you were just normal people... And I...I smashed you to pieces... Afterwards, Sue, my hands... My hands were... ... This nightmare? It's the first time I've had it in awhile, but...I have had it before...I used to have it a lot, I think... Which scares me, Sue, 'cause that means... Doesn't it mean that that's in me, somewhere? That potential to...to hurt you? Waiting ta come out?

It may be Christmas-time for the gentiles...but for you...IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Hey, it's those A.I.M. guys. Still going with the beekeeper thing, huh?

Y'know, Johnny...we seen a lot o' weird stuff over the years. But it was always simple—black and white. Doom, Galactus, Annihilus—we knew who the bad guys were...It wus always...clean. I dunno how Vincent did what he did or even what he was—but he wasn't bad! I think he really believed that he was workin' to do something good. T'make the world a better place. I dunno...Maybe he was ill—or just lost perspective and crossed the line—maybe...

This is Yancy Street! An' we don't bend to nobody!

Just once, buddy, ya gotta trust me that maybe you don't know everything. Doctor Doom is all my fault.

Uatu the Watcher was dead, murdered. Me 'n' some other heroes wuz there... When everythin' changed! Suddenly I knew stuff-- A memory. Thing is-- Tha' memory wuzn't mine.

Don't ever speak ta me again.

Let's get to the ship and hope the little varmint fixed it enough to get us off this -- aw, nuts. More Badoon...

How do ya make a whole planet a prison?

All right, you guys! Whatever ya got... Lock 'em! Load 'em! Charge 'em up! This is it! Our pal back there's hurting! All 'cause he put everything on the line for this crummy planet! Well, here's where we return the favor! Got that, spacemen?! You want the Surfer?! You'll have to go through us!

Lissen... he's just upset. It's a long story. But we... we just wanted you ta have this Fantastic Four flotsam and fluff 'cuz we knew ya'd 'preciate it.

Someone asked me, "Heaven or punchin' Vic von Doom's mug?" and I was like, "There's a difference?"

Ya thought... it was okay for Johnny and me to be left behind... and think you were dead! You! Sue! Franklin! Val! Kids, Reed! You let us believe the kids were dead!

Sorry, baby. Duty calls. But when I get back, I promise ya, Mrs. Grimm... we are gonna have the best honeymoon ever.

I think you're on to sumthin'. The whole family -- they ain't been properly introduced yet. Ya know what'd fix that right up? If you and me set up a good, old-fashioned... Yancy Street block party!

You?! What do you want?!

The Terrible Trio! Boy, you torpedoes are really slumming, huh? Evicting old people? Guess when your only employment reference is Doc Doom, you gotta take what you can get, huh?

What if I killed him and now everyone he took is dead?

Did... didja say... give up...? 'Cause I can't do that. See... There's this pair 'a kids I know. Little... little scrappers. Never known nothin' but war. Can't... Can't seem to get their faces outta my head. It's funny, ain't like I'm short 'a reasons to fight, right? You killed my friend... You wanna kill my family... why am I thinking about two strangers? Only... these two strangers got a chance now. Chance at a home... chance at a better life. And all I gotta do is not give up on 'em. All I gotta do is not die. So I guess I can't die. I'm the Immortal Thing. Put up ya dukes.

Think you scrappers got what it takes to be part 'a the Grimm family? 'Cause me and the missus would love to have ya.

I know ya know what time it is.

Conversations with Benjamin Grimm (Earth-616)

Are you tryin to hint that I'm dumb?!

Who's hinting?

I accept your apology!

— Fantastic Four #31

Try to swat me with that asbestos rug, will ya? It's about time I showed you who's top man around here!

Top man?? You red-faced refugee from a kindergarten! I don't know whether to clobber ya or give ya a spankin'!

— Strange Tales #125

Watch it, he's attacking!

Silver Surfer (Norrin Radd)

Glad ya told me, bright eyes!

— Fantastic Four #71

Truly, there is a spark of divinity in all who live, and think... and strive!

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards)

A spark that will one day ignite... and illuminate the universe!

The Thing (Benjamin Grimm)

Sheeesh! Billy Graham's got nothin' on you!

— Fantastic Four #72

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards)

The Silver Surfer reached Galactus in time! Earth is saved!

The Thing (Ben Grimm)

Sheeesh! We may haveta start collectin' unemployment insurance!

— Fantastic Four #78

Mister Fantastic

It's hopeless, Johnny!

Never thought you'd say that, Reed!

You know Stretcho, kid... if he can't do somethin', he figgers nobody can!

— Fantastic Four #83

Johnny Storm

Reed, what if he's from some strange undersea race?

You mean the old "They're gonna take over the world" trick? How corny can you be?

— Fantastic Four #97

Crystal

Poor, dear Johnny! Here -- Let me hold your head in my lap!

Y'know -- All of a sudden, I don't feel so good either!

Johnny Storm

You get an aspirin, you BIG APE!

— Fantastic Four #101

Crystal

To me, you'll always be the kindest -- and the gentlest -- and the most beautiful person I've ever known!

Yeah (Sniff), that's my problem! I always been just another pretty face!

— Fantastic Four #105

Johnny Storm

You want us to use the Pogo Plane?

Heck, no. I just git my kicks outta openin' 'n shuttin' cockpit doors. Now git in 'n give yer jaws a rest.

— Fantastic Four #108

The Hulk

Hulk is bigger! Hulk is stronger!

Mebbe so ... But I'm a heckuva lot faster ... and I ain't exactly a flyweight myself!

— Fantastic Four #112

Agatha Harkness

Calm yourself Mr. Grimm -- Ebony was just being affectionate.

Mr. Fantastic (Reed Richards)

Well, why don'cha put some combat boots on 'im so a fella can hear'im comin'! Us Super-Hero types are sensitive about bein' sneaked up on!

— Fantastic Four #117

No Ben! You're no match for him!

Thing (Ben Grimm)

SHADDUP! Ya wanna give me a complex?

— Fantastic Four #121

Sue Richards

It must be horrible to be feared -- to be attacked -- just because you are different -- Just because you're a stranger in a strange world!

I should'a thought of that! I'm one guy who outta know how it all feels to be different

— Fantastic Four #125

Deathlok

Fight harder, fool. Otherwise you'll never stop me!

Wuzn't concentratin' on 'im! But I ain't gonna make that mistake twice!

— Marvel Two-In-One #27

This fight ain’t over yet--not by a long shot! Ya only won on a technicality! Ya didn’t really beat me! Ya’ll never beat me! I’m just too stupid… and ugly… ta know when to quit!

Champion

No, my friend...I could never beat you! I know that now! I could crush your bones, and break your body--but I would never conquer your spirit! Any world that could spawn one such as you--is truly the worthiest of all! I sense that one day my people will battle yours for the total supremacy of the cosmos--but that will be in the eons to come! And what a glorious competition it shall be! Farewell, my friend! I have endless universes yet to visit! Infinite worlds to offer my gift! We shall never meet again! A pity! For to you--and you alone--I would offer the supreme glory of...a rematch!

— Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7

She-Hulk

If you killed all the women in the past, there wouldn't be any women in this time. There wouldn't be anybody!

Mahkizmo

What? Why not?

Shulkie... I got th' feelin' nobody ever told this guy about th' facts o' life!

— Sensational She-Hulk #39

Any chance you Inhumans have a recipe fer pumpkin pancakes?

Karnak

What are these wonders called "pancakes"?

Invisible Girl

Just ignore him, Karnak!

— Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Comics Magazine #7

Alicia Masters

But... we can stay friends, can't we, Ben?

Friends...? Always.

— Fantastic Four Vol 3 #45

Hulk

Photos! No way! Cost you another forty points...

Thirty.

Thirty-five.

Twenty.

You just said "Thirty-five"! You're supposed to go up in a negotiation, moron!

— Hulk & Thing: Hard Knocks #4

You ever thought'a joinin' the FF?
We could use a guy like you!

Peter Parker

Nah. I've heard the pay isn't all that great.

— Spider-Man Unlimited Vol 3 #11

Ben

Save the speech, big shot. We get it. We gotta use this power to help mankind, right...?

Reed

That's right, Ben.

— Fantastic Four: First Family #2

Sue

..then you'll have no problem piloting this.

Johnny

Whoa...! Don't tell me this bathtub flies.

Ben

'Course it does. He probably dreamed it up one afternoon between Seinfeld reruns. Okay, Susie. You better hope he designed this thing fer these mitts I gor fer hands now...

— Fantastic Four: First Family #5

You know I once punched Galactus, right?

John Clark

Threats will get you nowhere, Mr. Grimm.

Yeah, that's what he said, too.

— Fantastic Four #541

Hydro-Man

You boiled my hand, you mother--

Watch your language. Also, your chin.

— Fantastic Four #548

Wolverine

I thought for sure you were gonna tell us it was clobberin' time.