Doreen Green (Earth-616)/Quotes

Happy Holidays! Squirrel Girl here. And this is my girl-squirrel, Tippy-Toe! We just wanted to welcome you to the GLX-Mas Special and warn you about some 'a the stuff inside... ....Like violence, suicide, and an inappropriate use of the word "flock." If you think you might be offended by any of that, Marvel is also putting out a Punisher: Silent Night #1...So, there you go.

I will too kiss Speedball one day!

You said it, girl. Give a squirrel a nut, feed 'im for a day...but teach 'im to plant an oak tree, and he'll never go nut-less.

I didn't know what the hell was going on. But it was an invasion. Right here in America. An invasion! And my first thought -- my first thought was: The baby! I've got to find and protect the baby. And maybe that doesn't surprise you, but it surprised the hell out of me. I will confess this... When I first auditioned to be the nanny, I was really hoping that the Avengers would notice me and say amongst themselves: We really need her on the team. I took this job hoping to be an Avenger but now all I cared about -- all I cared about was protecting the child.

Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! She's a human and also a squirrel! Can she climb up a tree? Yes she can, easily. That's whyyyy her name is Squirrel Girl! Is she tough? Listed bud: She's got partially squirrel blood. Who's her friend? Don't you know: That's the squirrel Tippy-Toe. Surprise! She likes to talk to squirrels! At the top of trees, is where she spends her time like a huuuuman squirrel she enjoys fighting crime!! Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! Powers of both squirrel and girl! Finds some nuts, eats some nuts, kicks bad guuuuuys' evil butts! To her, life is a great big acorn! Where there's a city crime-torn, you'll find the Squirrel Girl!!!

Okay. Okay. All right, well, it's not like you leave me much of a choice. Get in the purse, Tippy-Toe. I guess I'm not joining anime club after all. I guess I'm just gonna have to go kick Galactus's butt instead.

We don't stop that robbery, then we're saving a planet where crime pays and hostages get shot! No, that's not how it's gonna be. We're saving the hostages and the planet, Tippy.

Galactus! I'm Squirrel Girl! This is my friend Tippy-Toe!! We're here to kick butts and eat nuts... and you can't eat nuts in space.

It's time to eat nuts...and kick...butts?

Attention, crazy mind-controlled mob!! I know how Ratatoskr works, how she preys on your insecurity and jealousy to make you attack others because you feel bad about yourself. But you don't have to let that happen! The only reason you'd do that is if you're ashamed of your insecurities! I am a super hero and I am here to tell you that feeling insecure is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have anxieties, but--and this may sound crazy--they're actually kinda what makes us awesome! Red talk: I was insecure about my own fighting and jealous of other people's skills. So you know what I did? I got better at fighting!! Envy isn't about the person you're jealous of: it's about yourself. It's your mind telling you exactly what you want' and you know what that is? That's friggin' self-knowledge, and it's the most important thing in the universe. It's how we tell ourselves that we need to work on in order to make ourselves the better, happier, more awesome version of us that we deserve to be! So what do you say, huh? Let's do it! Let's not let our feelings control us, but let's instead use this feelings, turning them towards productive personal growth instead of petty acts of violence! Let's by the change we're insecure and jealous about in the world!!

Oh my gosh, that was amazing! Nobody got hurt in the fire, thanks to us. We kicked butts and ate nuts!!

All right, Tippy: we're in the '60s -- so I just got a huge extension on my C++ assignment that's now due like fifty years from now -- plus we look awesome. Let's do this.

Um. So. Are we fired, or really fired?

You're buried under a giant pile of me, Doom. It's over. Promise to end this, and maybe we'll let you up.

Hey! Harvey Elder!! You and I, we're gonna have ourselves a little chat!

Tippy, I've got some bad news: This is all a friggin' dream.

Oh my gosh, you guys. You've made your point. Fine. I hereby acknowledge that there are other super heroes willing to keep everyone safe, and therefore, yes, we can take my mom up on her offer to have us come visit for a girl's only weekend.

Getting cloned really has been rad for us, with literally no downsides!! Everything's gonna be great forever!

You guys, it really means a lot you all came out for my birthday.

Oh my gosh, why didn't I think of this sooner? We should get you guys flying suits too!

You may be able to force animals to do things, Melissa, but that doesn't make you a leader. All that makes you is a bully. Real strength -- not just physical, but like, actual strength of character -- is to have all the power to bully someone and not use it. It's when you know that might doesn't make right, even when -- especially when -- you have all the might in the world. It's when you choose to be the bigger person.

This is insanely awesome, more like. We're gonna save dinosaurs with programming!

Hey Ultron!! Pterrible news, jerk... you're going down for maintenance... AND I'M THE SYSADMIN!!

Might doesn't make right, Nancy.

Nancy, I would be personally insulted if you did not replace his guns with bananas.

Team-ups can happen anytime, anywhere -- and they're awesome.

Why can't a couple of regular non-super heroes just decide to stone-cold kick it with Sergei Kravinoff?

All right, team! We're still trapped in a death maze (which we paid to enter, which is such a rip), but at least now we have the advantage of all knowing our perks and abilities. If we work together, no room can hold us. Ready, Justice Pals?!

Tttthhhiiiisss iiisss wwwwhhhaaaattt hhheeerrrooiiisssmmmm llllooooooookkksss llliiikkkeee no regrettttts!

Oh man. I have been ready for this moment since forever. Come on, friends! Let's go grief the universe!

Is it weird that I'm kinda loving this?

Listen, I sympathize, but there's no way this invasion is going to stay secret, and--

All they see is the Iron. But I believe -- I've always believed -- that the best part of you is the Man.

Loki Laufeyson!! Are you fighting for the bad guys again??

Your backstory is the same as mine: We're two unremarkable people who are inconspicuously making inquiries about Frost Giants. Follow my lead and we'll be fine.

Right. You had a complete change of heart and now you want to do things my way.

I'm so proud of you, Rachel. You changed the world today.

You're hurt and scared, aren't you? I know how that feels. I think Morgan Le Fay tricked you because she feels that way too, and I'm going to help her if she'll let me.

Sure, but someone recently told me change is the defining characteristic of life. And if embracing it unlocks a fuller, awesomer, more kick-butt life -- well then bring it on, baby.

It was a wash, Nancy! Every super hero has their own crimefighting philosophy, but none of them really apply to me! This problem's one hard nut to crack!

It's important to have good friends!

That's the secret to being unbeatable, Tippy: always have a plan B.

Mary. She's like... she's like if Doctor Doom was a computer engineering student, but also, hadn't decided to be evil.

Oh my gosh. Girl Squirrel. She's Ratatoskr! ...Okay, and can I just say that it's really satisfying to find out that someone you don't like for kinda no reason might've been secretly evil all along??

Everyone, this little squirrel is my friend. And when my duplicate offered to remake the world to make things better for her and her whole species, she turned her down. You know why? Because she believed in us. Because she believed in the idea that all of us--humans and squirrels-- are better together than apart. She knows our human failings better than anyone, and Tippy still thought we deserved a chance to fix things. She sacrificed herself for that idea. And we are gonna fix things. Right now. Starting with her.

TL;DR The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is the best comic in the world and you guys should totally follow me on Tumblr, we can be pluck squirrels together!