Gwendolyn Poole (Earth-TRN565)/Quotes

List of all notable quotes by or about Gwendolyn Poole (Earth-TRN565).
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
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 I was wrong. I'm not a hero. I'm a henchman. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 1

 You're all just comic book characters in my world! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 0

 What's her name? She's, uh, played by Natalie Portman, uh... Jane! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 2

 So, I'm having a hard time getting, uh, comic book universe citizenship? 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 3

 You think I haven't been waiting for this moment?! It was inevitable, you horror-sized Mister Potato Head. You killed my only friend and made me your henchman. If you kill me today, I'm making sure you're canceled too. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 4

 I'm a really big fan. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 5

 Honestly, we should have started with this fight. Whenever super heroes team up, they fight over a misunderstanding at the beginning. But now I see this is the setup of a complicated hero/anithero relationship. We'll cross paths over the years, be forced to cooperate despite -- dude... you're supposed to pull punches against normals... 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 6

 I need a ticket for whatever flight the Tree and Squirrel are on! And hurry up! Brian Michael Bendis is about to kill off Captain Marvel!! 

—Rocket Raccoon and Groot Vol 1 10

 You're not the henchman anymore. You're facing a horde of aliens with super guns. Just you. You're the hero. Heroes don't die that way. They win. Hooo. Okay. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 8

 Sweet Christmas! 

—Gwenpool Holiday Special: Merry Mix Up Vol 1 1

 Oh, geez, this is going to be a real "the harder they fall" situation, isn't it. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 10

 A dhampir is a half-vampire. And here there's only one of them. And you want me to stop him? To stop Blade?! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 11

 I actually think we are in more of a classic sword-and-sorcery dungeon. Totally different than the super hero thing. Good thing I've got the cleric with me, eh? Heh heh heh. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 12

 I'm shooting at evil dwarves from Ghost Rider's car, and I crashed on the better Hawkeye's couch last night! I'll enjoy that for a moment! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 15

 This world isn't fair, Teddy. But look. There's a better one, right in there. A shared escapist universe built by hundreds of human creators over decades... a singular linked vision. It's real! I can almost touch it! It's been calling to me! I know that! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 16

 Did I just lose a chunk of my life in-between scenes? Pages? Am I just living from panel to panel? 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 17

 Teddy... we're not back "back in the real world." This is all fake. We never left the comic. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 18

 Welcome back to super hero world, Gwen! Hope you survive the experience! 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 19

 I'm going to join the Avengers. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 21

 I'd like these powers a lot more if discovering their limits weren't like getting constantly tutted by a creative writing workshop. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 23

 When this book is over, other writers aren't going to think of "Batroc the Leaper" this way. And, well, I'm sorry. 

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 24

 I just need a power strong enough to make me more interesting to readers. Or compelling enough that writers reach for me as their quirky wild card in team books. 

—Gwenpool Strikes Back Vol 1 1

 Admit it. Gurihiru art or nah, you'd still hit it. 

—Gwenpool Strikes Back Vol 1 2

 I mean, I am basically my own self-insert in a Marvel Swimsuit Special right now. 

—Gwenpool Strikes Back Vol 1 3

 Four out of five Gwens agree: Gun violence is bad! Guess which Gwen I am. 

—Gwenpool Strikes Back Vol 1 4

 I'm not a mutant. I know that. And I know that this is how I die. I've known that from issue one of this miniseries. And... if I wanted to... I could use my remaining page space to give myself a more dignified ending. But I'm just... so tired. No one will miss me, anyway. 

—Gwenpool Strikes Back Vol 1 5

 A family. They're humanizing you... This is your book. And I'm-- I'm just the guest star... 

—M.O.D.O.K.: Head Games Vol 1 3

 I refuse to be One More Day-ed! 

—Love Unlimited Infinity Comic Vol 1 43

 And when you're an X-Man who wants to shake things up, there's two things to do. One: Get a new costume! You like? It's New Mutants chic. I thought about going for Magik's look, but I can't pull off a metal halter! I love my legs though! The second thing X-Men do to spice things up is get involved in a love triangle! The triangle is the strongest shape, you know. Or if you're a true boss like Emma Frost, you insert yourself into the best existing love triangle and make a sexy rhombus. 

—Love Unlimited Infinity Comic Vol 1 44

 Don't judge me, okay? But I think we can agree that keeping myself in the comics and relevant is important. 

—Love Unlimited Infinity Comic Vol 1 45

 So that's my boring origin story. No fireworks. No horse aliens. Just a slow, creeping feeling of isolation. 

—Love Unlimited Infinity Comic Vol 1 47

 Hey, everybody, bonus panel for your avatar! It's your girl Gwenpool! ASEXUAL ICON! 

—Love Unlimited Infinity Comic Vol 1 48

 This world isn't fair, Teddy. But look. There's a better one, right in there. A shared escapist universe built by hundreds of human creators over decades... a singular linked vision. It's real! I can almost touch it! It's been calling to me! I know that! 

—Gwendolyn Poole (Earth-TRN565)

 You'd monologue a lot faster if you didn't try to sniff the air with your tongue every time you made an "S" sound. 

—Massster (Earth-616)

 It's time for Gwenpool vs. Doctor Doom! Er, you know, the one that's a little less Bendis and a little more Kirby. 

—Victor von Doom (Paper Memory) (Earth-616)

 It's nothing, dude. It's time. It's space. It's the blink between ticks of a clock... or the lost memory between grammar school and college. It's the Gutter. 

—Gutter Space

Gwenpool	Okay? I'm looking for Doctor Doom, though.
Iron Man	Speaking.
Gwenpool	Really?!
Iron Man	Yes.
Gwenpool	Why do you look like War Machine in a hoodie?
Iron Man	... I'll deal with you later.

—Unbelievable Gwenpool Vol 1 22

Gwenpool	Trust me, this is how you want it. The other option is we die tragically to show how high the stakes are. But I don't think we have anything to worry about. That usually happens to newer characters the writers didn't grow up with, or legacy characters whose freshness has worn off.
Superior Spider-Man	At the risk of encouraging your insanity, what, pray tell is a "legacy character"?
Gwenpool	You know. Ones who were created as hipper, edgier versions of previously existing characters, but just end up making fans want the originals back. So, uh... maybe we should go hide.

—Superior Spider-Man Vol 2 7

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