Gwendolyn Poole (Earth-TRN565)/Quotes

I was wrong. I'm not a hero. I'm a henchman.

You're all just comic book characters in my world!

What's her name? She's, uh, played by Natalie Portman, uh... Jane!

So, I'm having a hard time getting, uh, comic book universe citizenship?

You think I haven't been waiting for this moment?! It was inevitable, you horror-sized Mister Potato Head. You killed my only friend and made me your henchman. If you kill me today, I'm making sure you're canceled too.

I'm a really big fan.

Honestly, we should have started with this fight. Whenever super heroes team up, they fight over a misunderstanding at the beginning. But now I see this is the setup of a complicated hero/anithero relationship. We'll cross paths over the years, be forced to cooperate despite -- dude... you're supposed to pull punches against normals...

I need a ticket for whatever flight the Tree and Squirrel are on! And hurry up! Brian Michael Bendis is about to kill off Captain Marvel!!

You're not the henchman anymore. You're facing a horde of aliens with super guns. Just you. You're the hero. Heroes don't die that way. They win. Hooo. Okay.

Sweet Christmas!

Oh, geez, this is going to be a real "the harder they fall" situation, isn't it.

A dhampir is a half-vampire. And here there's only one of them. And you want me to stop him? To stop Blade?!

I actually think we are in more of a classic sword-and-sorcery dungeon. Totally different than the super hero thing. Good thing I've got the cleric with me, eh? Heh heh heh.

I'm shooting at evil dwarves from Ghost Rider's car, and I crashed on the better Hawkeye's couch last night! I'll enjoy that for a moment!

This world isn't fair, Teddy. But look. There's a better one, right in there. A shared escapist universe built by hundreds of human creators over decades... a singular linked vision. It's real! I can almost touch it! It's been calling to me! I know that!

Did I just lose a chunk of my life in-between scenes? Pages? Am I just living from panel to panel?

Teddy... we're not back "back in the real world." This is all fake. We never left the comic.

Welcome back to super hero world, Gwen! Hope you survive the experience!

I'm going to join the Avengers.

I'd like these powers a lot more if discovering their limits weren't like getting constantly tutted by a creative writing workshop.

When this book is over, other writers aren't going to think of "Batroc the Leaper" this way. And, well, I'm sorry.

I just need a power strong enough to make me more interesting to readers. Or compelling enough that writers reach for me as their quirky wild card in team books.

Admit it. Gurihiru art or nah, you'd still hit it.

I mean, I am basically my own self-insert in a Marvel Swimsuit Special right now.

Four out of five Gwens agree: Gun violence is bad! Guess which Gwen I am.

I'm not a mutant. I know that. And I know that this is how I die. I've known that from issue one of this miniseries. And... if I wanted to... I could use my remaining page space to give myself a more dignified ending. But I'm just... so tired. No one will miss me, anyway.

A family. They're humanizing you... This is your book. And I'm-- I'm just the guest star...

I refuse to be One More Day-ed!

And when you're an X-Man who wants to shake things up, there's two things to do. One: Get a new costume! You like? It's New Mutants chic. I thought about going for Magik's look, but I can't pull off a metal halter! I love my legs though! The second thing X-Men do to spice things up is get involved in a love triangle! The triangle is the strongest shape, you know. Or if you're a true boss like Emma Frost, you insert yourself into the best existing love triangle and make a sexy rhombus.

Don't judge me, okay? But I think we can agree that keeping myself in the comics and relevant is important.

So that's my boring origin story. No fireworks. No horse aliens. Just a slow, creeping feeling of isolation.

Hey, everybody, bonus panel for your avatar! It's your girl Gwenpool! ASEXUAL ICON!

This world isn't fair, Teddy. But look. There's a better one, right in there. A shared escapist universe built by hundreds of human creators over decades... a singular linked vision. It's real! I can almost touch it! It's been calling to me! I know that!

You'd monologue a lot faster if you didn't try to sniff the air with your tongue every time you made an "S" sound.

It's time for Gwenpool vs. Doctor Doom! Er, you know, the one that's a little less Bendis and a little more Kirby.

It's nothing, dude. It's time. It's space. It's the blink between ticks of a clock... or the lost memory between grammar school and college. It's the Gutter.