Howard Duckson (Earth-47920)/Quotes

List of all notable quotes by or about Howard Duckson (Earth-47920).
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
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You don't gotta take out a morgage on an ivory tower to recognize stupidity when you see it!

—Howard the Duck Vol 1 3

K-Keep back! I'm warnin' ya.. I know Quak-Fu!

—Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 96

I've seen what she's about to turn into. I feel safer out here with the snakes.

—Sensational She-Hulk Vol 1 15

Alright, people - and I use the word derogatarily - we can do this the wrong way or my way!

—Generation X Vol 1 21

Who you calling a barnyard animal? You're the one with the pigsty for an apartment.

—Ghost Rider Vol 3 81

My family prob'ly thinks I'm dead...although considering what a bunch of dysfunctional losers they are, that ain't such a bad thing...

—Daydreamers Vol 1 1

What's y'r problem, space shrew? Y'got somethin' against ducks?

—Daydreamers Vol 1 2

Great! From the end of reality t' the middle of nowhere!

—Daydreamers Vol 1 3

The gem started glowing... and the monster started growing... and growing... and growing... until it had become a... (dare I say it)... Giant-Size Man-Thing!

—Man-Thing Vol 3 6

I hate to keep reminding you of this - but I'm a duck Bev. That's two strikes against me before i even wak through the door. No computer skills? Whoop- strike three!

—Howard the Duck Vol 3 1

That's what I love about you hairless apes... You never let facts get in the way of a good story.

—Marvel Zombies 5 Vol 1 5

That's the problem -- losing control. With this full-throttle fear factor in the air, Man-Thing might go supernova. And I'm the someone who's got to rein him in. But I'm not scared. I may be trapped in a world I never made -- but I'm not here alone...

—Fear Itself: Fearsome Four Vol 1 1

I can only imagine where you took the others...but me? My greatest fear's right here, isn't it? I don't need a Nexus of All Realities to concoct the nightmare scenario..."Killing you." That's the awfullest thing anyone could ask--for me to lose another friend when I've already lost just about everybody. But I ain't scared no more. You were always pretty out there, Man-Thing--and now you're too far gone. I've gotta do what's right, right now--I need to stop worrying about me and save you from yourself...because that's what friends are for.

—Fear Itself: Fearsome Four Vol 1 4

WHAT?! Did you hear a word I said?! Lemme repeat the three biggies: Zombie. NAZI. INVASION!

—Marvel Zombies Destroy! Vol 1 1

I didn't care if you were a Skrull or an X-Man or an X-Force -- if I could look past you being a hipster, I can look past anything.

—Howard the Duck Vol 5 5

Again? This isn't possible! Almost nobody dies more than once! It's a short list! Me... Jean Grey, Iron Man, Captain America, Bucky, Thor, Ms. Marvel, Colossus, Punisher, Hawkeye, Star-Lord, Drax the Destroyer... Mr. Fantastic, The Thing, the Human Torch, the original Human Torch, Psylocke, Quasar, Swordsman, Hercules, Professor X, Havok, Magik, Banshee, Elektra... Nightcrawler, Moon Knight, Brother Voodoo, Wonder Man, Guardian, Vindicator, Puck, Corsair, Sentry, Shaman, Cannonball, Jack of Hearts, Black Goliath... And I'm starting to suspect Wolverine. Piano.

—S.H.I.E.L.D. Vol 3 10

Lady! Please! Let's talk! I have no idea who you are! Also I don't want you to kill me. There. All the cards are on the table!

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 2

Every night when I go to sleep I... I think about the prisoners I left behind on that planet. Yeah, I want to go home. But if I have a chance to... if I don't help these two make it right, I... what kind of duck would I be?

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 3

I've been dragged around the universe for long enough! So far the only guy to speak some sense is the slick nudist! Which, frankly, makes me long for my days... of pantsless wisdom!

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 4

This is definitely in my top ten bad situations.

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 5

Hey! Has anyone seen a cat named "Biggs"?! Anyone? Come here, Biggs! The sooner you show up, the sooner I don't have to hang out with this woman anymore!

—Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol 2 6

Let's -- eat bread and kick head!

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 6

Ms. Thompson, after much consideration, I've decided to take your case!

—Howard the Duck Vol 6 9

Just admit it, sister. You're patient zero. Typhoid Mary. The epicenter. The fundamental underpinning. The sum and substance. The name of the game. The vera causa. The agent provocateur--

—Mockingbird Vol 1 5

I just realized something. All my life, no matter where I went... on my world or this stupid meat-puppet planet... I always felt like I was in someone else's story.

—Deadpool the Duck Vol 1 1

Aggh. There's a maniac runnin' around in my body... or half my body, or something... meanwhile, one of the few sentients I call a friend is sufferin' from something called Space Rabies -- and his only hope seems to be that aforementioned maniac!

—Deadpool the Duck Vol 1 3

Thanks for the nightmares, dummies. Let's never do this again.

—Doctor Strange and the Sorcerers Supreme Vol 1 9

Aw, clam up, bud! You don't even know the meaning of the word! Finding yourself in a world of talking hairless apes--now that's absurdity!

—Howard Duckson (Earth-47920)

Caliph	What a curious melody!
Howard the Duck	That's funny--I don't hear any melody.
Beverly Switzler	Da-da-da-da-da-da---Boop!
Winda Wester	C'mon awong and wisten to--the wuwwaby of Bwoadway! Kawate kicks, nunchaku sticks--the wuwwaby of Bwroadway! Peopwe scweaming in howwible pain--the muggers wunning wampant--!
Beverly Switzler	Are those really the lyrics??
Winda Wester	You been to New York Watewy?
Beverly Switzler	You win.

—Howard the Duck Annual Vol 1 1

Brent Wilcox	It's the squish principle! The whole universe is getting smaller!
Louise Mason	But -- that can't be --!
Howard the Duck	Oh, no? Take a gander up ahead -- where Illinois used to be --! It's a Don't-Worry-Be-Happyverse!

—Sensational She-Hulk Vol 1 17

Jackie Kane (Earth-483)	You're... you're a duck. Wearing pants.
Howard the Duck	My lawyers tell me I've always been wearing these pants.

—Marvel Zombies 5 Vol 1 1

Spider-Man	Heads up, true believers! (in fascist mind control) Here comes the Spectacular Spider-Man!
Howard the Duck	Gettin' a little addicted to those entrances, webs?
Spider-Man	What can I say? It's a rush.

—Spider-Man: Back in Quack Vol 1 1

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Howard Duckson (Earth-47920)