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Now this is more like it, Parker!! Exclusive pictures of the Chameleon! No one even knew he was back in this country! You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant -- open the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate!
Foswell? He was just a cog in the wheel! I was the master planner! The entire capture of the Crime-Master took place under my personal direction! But my own natural modesty prevents me from bragging about it!
The trouble with me is I'm too soft-hearted! I'm always doing favors for everyone! I'm just a big bundle of good-natured jelly! But no one ever appreciates it! It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy! The trouble with me is--I'm too sweet! That reminds me! It's time I was roasting Spider-Man's hide in an editorial again!
There's an old saying. Enemies can kill you, but only your friends can hurt you. Spider-Man was a thorn in my side. He ticked me off, embarrassed me, infuriated me... but it's Peter who has finally succeeded in hurting me. And there is a price for that, Robbie. There is one hell of a price for that.
Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the sweet bonds of matrimony...between my father, John Jonah Jameson Senior, and his lovely bride, Ms. May Reilly Parker...two very young souls in two very old bodies...
You're nothing but a crook. Enjoy you're moment of power, because I can promise you -- it won't last. When you fall, he'll be the one standing over you. And hopefully I'll be there to have a good laugh at your expense.
Turn on the TV. Go online. Pick up a newspaper. We hate them. We love them. We worship them. We condemn them. Hell, maybe we're the ones who elevate them. Maybe we force them to live like this because we need them to live like this. Maybe the only reason they exist is because we can't solve our own problems.
Don't say another word, my boy! I know what young love's like! I'm feeling so good, I'll not only give Miss Brant the night off, but I'll get you into the event of the season-- --my latest anti-Spider-Man lecture! Bring your camera -- you can take pictures for our coverage of the event, and I'll deduct the price of the tickets from your check!
Hisgirl off the bridge. For years I couldn't... remember. The itch I could never scratch. But now... of course. Peter Parkeris Spider-Man! The greatest weapon I ever had against the wall-crawler! It's mine again! And I owe it all to you, old friend... J. Jonah Jameson!
Dear readers, a great injustice is at hand! We have forsaken REAL heroes in favor of freaks! While America's true titans walk amongst us in the form of firemen, soldiers fighting on the front lines, and astronauts exploring the final frontier... ...instead we choose to idolize inhuman monsters! Masked menaces like this so-called sensational Spider-Man! When I'm through with this article, Spider-Man will be run out of town! Mark my words, we are all being drawn into his web... ...especially our impressionable youngsters!