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List of all notable quotes by or about John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
Appearances · Handbook Appearances · Minor Appearances · Mentions · Handbook Mentions · Invocations · Items · Quotes · Images · Gallery · Victims
Quote1.png Don't make me laugh! If there really is a giant lizard down south, Spider-Man will never tackle him! He'd rather stay here, fighting two-bit hoods and making a rep for himself! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 6
Quote1.png Now this is more like it, Parker!! Exclusive pictures of the Chameleon! No one even knew he was back in this country! You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant -- open the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 15
Quote1.png My secret is safe...for now! But what supreme irony! I was saved from a menace whom I myself helped to create... saved by the one he was created to destroy! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 20
Quote1.png When the news of my brilliant triumph is made public, I'll probably be asked to join the Avengers! But, I'll prove my modesty by declining! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 25
Quote1.png Foswell? He was just a cog in the wheel! I was the master planner! The entire capture of the Crime-Master took place under my personal direction! But my own natural modesty prevents me from bragging about it! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 27
Quote1.png The trouble with me is I'm too soft-hearted! I'm always doing favors for everyone! I'm just a big bundle of good-natured jelly! But no one ever appreciates it! It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy! The trouble with me is--I'm too sweet! That reminds me! It's time I was roasting Spider-Man's hide in an editorial again! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 41
Quote1.png That sinks it! The whole world is against me! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 45
Quote1.png I don't know how...or why...he got involved with the Kingpin...! But there's one thing I do know...when Fred Foswell breathed his last...he died a hero! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 52
Quote1.png Who needs proof?? Everybody knows he's a rotten low-down, no good killer! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 57
Quote1.png The battle of the century is about to begin, right here near the Daily Bugle, and I don't have one %$!!?#$#!* photographer to cover it! How can this happen to a doll-boy like me?!! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 64
Quote1.png We'll give the public something they can't glance at in between dog-food commercials. An in-depth look at the so-called Savage Land-- and the real lowdown on whatever it was that came crawling out of there. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 103
Quote1.png I expect photos from you Parker -- Great photos .. OR ELSE! Quote2.png
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 27
Quote1.png I'm going to -- ah -- Paris, Miss Brant. That's right -- Paris!. I could be gone for months. Until you hear from me again -- goodbye! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 142
Quote1.png Oh Death -- Where is thy Sting? Quote2.png
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 47
Quote1.png Let them fight it out -- kill each other! Good Riddance is all I got to say! Quote2.png
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 56
Quote1.png Cap's a good man... But you remember what happened when movie stars started running for office. Quote2.png
Captain America Vol 1 250
Quote1.png It's those blasted super-heroes, Robertson! Nothing like this ever happened before they came along! Quote2.png
Fantastic Four Vol 1 242
Quote1.png Where the @&%# is Nose Norton? Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 233
Quote1.png It never occurs to you that I don't have to run any of the retractions that I've run through the years. Easies for you to think of me as a journalist without a heart. Quote2.png
Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 13
Quote1.png I am surrounded by idiots, incompetents and assassins. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 279
Quote1.png Captain, please find my boy. Quote2.png
Captain America Vol 1 402
Quote1.png Don't say another word, my boy! I know what young love's like! I'm feeling so good, I'll not only give Miss Brant the night off, but I'll get you into the event of the season-- --my latest anti-Spider-Man lecture! Bring your camera -- you can take pictures for our coverage of the event, and I'll deduct the price of the tickets from your check! Quote2.png
Untold Tales of Spider-Man Vol 1 4
Quote1.png That's what you say! For all I know, you killed the real Spider-Man and took his place! Now you're trying to steal the evidence of your crime! Quote2.png
Sensational Spider-Man Vol 1 2
Quote1.png Truth! You're going to tell me about the truth? Spider-Man is nothing more than a costumed menace and you... Quote2.png
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 3
Quote1.png  -- the mask. It would be so easy. After all this time. I'd know... Quote2.png
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 10
Quote1.png  --Why?-- --Why?-- --Why weren't you there that day? The one day that mattered most? Those pictures I could've used! Quote2.png
Spider-Man: Death and Destiny Vol 1 1
Quote1.png I'll show you! If you ever threaten my family again, you miserable weasel... ...today is going to seem like the best day of your life! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 2 21
Quote1.png I get down on my hands and knees and I pray for the day that you screw up somewhere because my paper will be so far up your nose that -- that -- that -- arrgghhh! I hate you! Quote2.png
Alias Vol 1 10
Quote1.png All you gotta do is take off the mask -- you hear me, you little freak? Take if off, an' I change "implicated" to "exonerated"! Quote2.png
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 45
Quote1.png No one's a hero, doc. Especially not me. Quote2.png
Spider-Man's Tangled Web Vol 1 20
Quote1.png Scum is scum and costumed scum is costumed scum. But I need to sell papers. Quote2.png
The Pulse Vol 1 1
Quote1.png Who the #*&% are the Young Avengers? Quote2.png
Young Avengers Vol 1 1
Quote1.png You no-good, wall-crawling misfit -- get off my building! Quote2.png
Spider-Man Human Torch Vol 1 3
Quote1.png There's an old saying. Enemies can kill you, but only your friends can hurt you. Spider-Man was a thorn in my side. He ticked me off, embarrassed me, infuriated me... but it's Peter who has finally succeeded in hurting me. And there is a price for that, Robbie. There is one hell of a price for that. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 533
Quote1.png You're fired, Robertson. Get the hell out of my building. And close the door. Quote2.png
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Vol 1 21
Quote1.png Comic books? Do they still publish that trash? It can rot your mind. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 552
Quote1.png Cigars? you brought me cigars? Bless you, Spider-Man, I always knew you weren't all bad. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 554
Quote1.png Can't breathe. Mustn't die...before Spider-Man...mustn't die...before Spider-Man... Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 592
Quote1.png Watch him like a hawk. He thought he kidnapped me today-- --but he got it backwards. Excelsior! Quote2.png
Web of Spider-Man Vol 2 2
Quote1.png Oh. Of course. "Heroic." My middle name. You're right. I should always look heroic. The people of New York deserve nothing less. Quote2.png
Peter Parker Vol 1 3
Quote1.png Officer Cooper. Chief Pratchett. How I envy you. You're witnessing the dawn of a golden age. Me. Running the city. Quote2.png
Superior Spider-Man Vol 1 3
Quote1.png Turn on the TV. Go online. Pick up a newspaper. We hate them. We love them. We worship them. We condemn them. Hell, maybe we're the ones who elevate them. Maybe we force them to live like this because we need them to live like this. Maybe the only reason they exist is because we can't solve our own problems. Quote2.png
Civil War II: Choosing Sides Vol 1 3
Quote1.png Damn it, Parker, this is my father! What if it was your father? Or your Uncle Ben? Would you gamble with their lives like this? Would you? Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 19
Quote1.png ...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years? Quote2.png
Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 304
Quote1.png It's about time someone points out how much good I've done for this city. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 11
Quote1.png You're nothing but a crook. Enjoy you're moment of power, because I can promise you -- it won't last. When you fall, he'll be the one standing over you. And hopefully I'll be there to have a good laugh at your expense. Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 13
Quote1.png Hey I didn't throw myself! It was the astronaut-murdering psycho over there! Quote2.png
Punisher Annual Vol 5 1
Quote1.png I did it! J. Jonah Jameson saves the day! Quote2.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 38
Quote1.png ...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years? Quote2.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001.pngJennie Sheldon
Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner?
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001.jpg
John Jonah Jameson
At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast.
Conversation Tail.png
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001.pngJennie Sheldon
You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling."
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Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616)
Eugene Thompson (Earth-616).jpg
Flash Thompson
Why don'tcha pick on the Human Torch for a while?? Or those nutty X-Men??
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Why don't you go play in traffic?!
Conversation Tail.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 24
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J.J.Jameson
If you ask me, Osborn's been working too hard. He needs a good vacation.
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George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66.JPG
George Stacy
I think it's more than that, Jameson. He should seek psychiatric help!
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J.J.Jameson
Balderdash! You'd never get me to a headshrinker!
Conversation Tail.png
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66.JPG
George Stacy
Too bad.
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J.J.Jameson
What's that?
Conversation Tail.png
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66.JPG
George Stacy
Nothing.
Conversation Tail.png
Spectacular Spider-Man Magazine Vol 1 2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 001.jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
What'll it take?
Conversation Tail.png
Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 007 Pete.jpg
Peter Parker
Money.
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 001.jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Never.
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Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1
House of X Vol 1 1 Character Decades Variant Textless.jpg
Cyclops
We are returning your retainer, Mr. Jameson. X-Factor cannot accept your assignment.
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001.jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Why not?
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House of X Vol 1 1 Character Decades Variant Textless.jpg
Cyclops
After extensive research, we can only conclude that Spider-Man is not a mutant.
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 282

Robertson
As real as you or me, J.J.J.; Spider-Man without his mask and lying on a hospital Gurney. What do you think?
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J.J.J.
I think that's a familiar face...
Conversation Tail.png
Marvel Knights: Spider-Man Vol 1 4
Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
J. Jonah Jameson? The Sensational Spider-Mayor?! Coming up with too many quips! Brain overloading!
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Shut up!
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Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
Aw, c'mon! When will I ever get the chance to--
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Not another word!
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Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
How 'bout a quick time out? I'll get a spare costume. Cut out a hole for a moustache--
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
I mean it!
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Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
"Jolly Jonah," my butt. You're no fun at all.
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 670
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Spider-Man?! I knew you had something to do with -- Actually, you know what? Never mind.
Conversation Tail.png
Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
What were you going to say?
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
Never mind!
Conversation Tail.png
Peter Parker (Earth-616).jpg
Spider-Man
That you knew I had something to do with a subterranean civil war? Is that what you were going to say?
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
I stopped myself -- Just drop it!
Conversation Tail.png
Avenging Spider-Man Vol 1 2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001.jpg
John Jonah Jameson
Dear readers, a great injustice is at hand! We have forsaken REAL heroes in favor of freaks! While America's true titans walk amongst us in the form of firemen, soldiers fighting on the front lines, and astronauts exploring the final frontier... ...instead we choose to idolize inhuman monsters! Masked menaces like this so-called sensational Spider-Man! When I'm through with this article, Spider-Man will be run out of town! Mark my words, we are all being drawn into his web... ...especially our impressionable youngsters!
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Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover).jpg
Clash
I'm ready. Oh, man... can't believe I'm gonna do this!
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001.jpg
John Jonah Jameson
Just imagine what would happen if any children out there tried to imitate his fantastic feats! I tell you it's only a matter of time!
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Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover).jpg
Clash
The world might not know Clayton Cole, but soon everyone's gonna take notice of... Clash!
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.1
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001.png
Jennie Sheldon
Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner?
Conversation Tail.png
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001.jpg
John Jonah Jameson
At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast.
Conversation Tail.png
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001.png
Jennie Sheldon
You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling."
Conversation Tail.png
Secret Empire: Brave New World Vol 1 3
Norman Osborn (Earth-616) from Marvel Legends (Trading Cards) 0002.jpg
Green Goblin
His girl off the bridge. For years I couldn't... remember. The itch I could never scratch. But now... of course. Peter Parker is Spider-Man! The greatest weapon I ever had against the wall-crawler! It's mine again! And I owe it all to you, old friend... J. Jonah Jameson!
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001.jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
What have I done?
Conversation Tail.png
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 797
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001.jpg
J. Jonah Jameson
It'll be interesting being protected by a girl, huh?
Conversation Tail.png
Silk Vol 3 2 The Comic Mint Exclusive Variant Textless.jpg
Silk
Please be quiet and get on the train.
Conversation Tail.png
Silk Vol 3 1

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