Jonathan Storm (Earth-616)/Quotes

A giant dog, with antennae growing out of his head! What have I stumbled onto??!

Another flamethrowing wannabe.

You've gone soft on Sub-Mariner--our arch enemy!

Arise! Arise against tyranny! Defeat Zemu!

If crooks weren't stupid, they wouldn't be crooks.

Fergoshsakes!! Just 'cause I wanted to give folks a little entertainment doesn't mean I'm a publicity-hog! Doggonit!

Set your mind at ease, Big Daddy! Whatever your caper is, I'll still wrap it up in time to date some lucky chick tonight!

Aww, cut it out ya big ox, or I'll give ya a hot foot where you sit!

Hi Dorrie-Doll! Your Dream-Boat's back!

Like Reed always says -- It's never hopeless!

You were right, Reed! And I was wrong again -- as usual. I lost my temper -- blew my cool -- gave up on you, and on Ben -- just like a spineless quitter!

But tonight... Just for tonight... I feel great!

Maybe it's time Spider-Man and the Human Torch teamed up again.

Er -- ah -- hi, Hulk -- ol' buddy -- ol' pal. Thanks for the catch. N-nice weather we're having, isn't it? It isn't?

I don't like being called a child!

Even Reed Richards can't muck around with the Human Torch!

I should have guessed! You're not the real Captain America!

No, Ben's okay brother-in-law! He's just been playing soccer with the TV.

I need to be alone ... to sort things out... to decide just what it is I am!

I don't remember anything...

Sometimes I feel without my powers, I'd be nothing.

I'm shallow ... all surface glitter and flash -- just like my stupid powers!

What the heck, Sis... Your Mad Scientist Husband thinks work is relaxing!

I have pretty much adjusted to Crystal being your lady now, and I'm happy for you both. I really am.

April fool!!

Darnit Alicia,... I can't help but feel I... took advantage of our friendship.

She's telling the truth, Ben. Alicia isn't just another conquest for me. It's real this time.

What is it? Another autograph? Ahh well ... the price of fame...

A kid died today, Sue, died because of me. Because I never stopped to consider what the Human Torch might mean out in the real world.

Man, Oh Man! That was a close one!

I can't blame you for hating a hopeless butthead like me, but I hope you'll find a way to forgive me someday.

Looks like we are about to be mobbed by another horde of my adoring fans!

I'm the Human Torch! I am flame! And the nature of flame is to rise! Push your powers to its limits-- you won't bring me down a second time!

But despite your low regard for my intelligence, I'm not forgetting that you're going to get this flame back under control after we save Mantis!

If you were made from me, you're not stupid under that hipster facade!

Gee, Spidey, you're pretty darn talkative for a corpse!

From the looks of that blast -- there won't be any survivors! But... where's Ben--? What's happened to The Thing?!

F-Franklin! It is you! It really is!

"WHOA! But listen to this, Reed! You were offered a million dollars to star in some adult flick!"

There is a method to my madness, you know.

In other words, gang... ...look out, world, the Fantastic Four are back!

Here's my proposal, Roma. Leave Franklin with us. If it works out, your needs are satisfied. If it doesn't -- -- if we can't handle the responsibility, or the threats, to your satisfaction -- -- you get us all. Whatever fate you plan for Franklin, we face it together.

No offense, pal -- -- but if we're so "inferior"......how come we pretty much always win?

Johnny Storm... The Human Torch... ...not a thief... not a spoiled kid... not a quitter... ...a hero.

Don't know why I've been questioning Reed's every decision. Nobody's proved himself time and time again like Reed. Maybe it was seeing him lose control while in the Doom armor that bothers me. If a guy like Reed can fall apart, what hope is there for a hothead like me?

The Skrulls were looking for one of their kind... their own super champion. He's hiding here, they say... and I have a pretty good idea who he is --

But... what if this is that one time they don't? What am I to do? Reed and Sue have kids! What am I going to tell them? I mean, have you ever lost anyone close to you? Like a family member?

Three of the Fantastic Four are in the Negative Zone -- maybe lost -- and I can't get to them. Meanwhile, the world needs an F.F. to handle -- you know -- F.F. stuff!

Guys... something is wrong with me. I can't flame off! I'm stuck as the Human Torch!

I screwed up a lot in my life, Crystal. My relationship with you... ...my chance to be a movie star... Look -- I can't even control my own flame. But I'm not gonna screw this up! I'm not gonna let my sister die!

Oh, please. I know when my film's been flammed, okay? You think you're masters of subterfuge? I deal with Skrulls. A little credit here...

If I can help the family, I want to be a part of this. Jian'll backstop me, but you can trust me. I'm not always fourteen. Everything I do know about being an adult, I learned from you, okay?

Gentlemen, may I present Firefox. The fireball femme fatale... the killer of Vinnie Costello... ...and the end of your troubles!

Can't do it! Spidey, I'm trapped! I can't! I... I... I have no pants!

--my bigger question's this......where'd the sun go?

You can't use my mojo because it's too... too human! I forget. You're not a giant man with a bad wardrobe. Not the giant part, anyway. Yes, you're big......but humanoid...nose, fingers, optic nerves, etcetera...is how my brain registers you so it doesn't melt down.

No more power cosmic. It's gone----but-- if this worked-- so is Galactus.

Amazing. Even crazed and ferocious, he still knew when to retreat.

Reed knew?! I didn't but Reed knew?!! That's it! I'm being punk'd, aren't I?! Take it off, kutcher! Right now!

Reed's in his lab. Of course the building is shaking.

I'm a big fan. It's easy to tell why she's called Marvel Girl!

Oh, god, we're about to be shown up by a seven-year-old...

Man, this has to be my third-worst breakup ever!

No way. You guys mugged Galactus and used his power to boot up your time machine?

Does anybody besides me ever get tired of feeling like the dumb kid in science class?

I'm happy for Ben. Seriously, good for him. It's just... You've been an Avenger. Reed's been an Avenger. Hell, probably Val's gonna get drafted next week... And do you think that Luke Cage, when he was putting together his team, thought, for even one second: 'I'll ask Johnny Storm'? ... I know exactly what it means, Sue. And it's nobody's fault but my own. I made my bed of mediocrity...now I'm lying in it.

So this is it. A billion to one... you think I'm afraid of that? You think I'm afraid of that?! Flame on!

If you’re hearing this, I’m sorry, pal. Sorry that I’m gone. ‘Cause... well... I know how you feel when it comes to losing family. And that’s what you are to me. Family. So... if you’re thinking of this as my last will and all... I’m not leaving you my sports cars or stuff like that... I’m leaving you the best thing I ever had... My spot on this team. A place in this family. The best sister, two brothers, niece, and nephew a guy could ask for. They— We all love you, Pete. So? You up for it, bro? We’re all here for you.

I believe the question was, how can I defeat a Kree armada... It's simple. I have my own... The Annihilation Wave.

Back away from the nerd.

This is my house now. Welcome to the Negative Zone.

I can't feel them anymore, guys-- It's like I've lost a limb or something-- It's-- I-- My powers are gone.

I have a career as a singer, fame -- There's my tour to focus on -- even without my powers, that's a life most guys'd kill for. So until that day you come to me, Reed, all "I've found it, Johnny, I've got the cure..."... I guess it's "Flame Off."

Wow. Yeah, this all feels really illegal. It's kind of exhilarating.

Oh, Hell no! You come after my people, I will quote from the Book of Ben Grimm:

It's clobberin' time!

Ta-dah! Ladies and gents, please welcome the one, the only, Morris Sackett!

You find the creep who is using my family to get to you and you let me know where he is.

"I'm Spider-Man! I'm the relatable super hero with relatable problems! Just ask my long-lost sister from my super-spy parents with Nazi g--"

I think you've probably got money to burn... and if I see you again... I'll prove it.

So, what's the plan again? Reed left you a message in a device, which Doom had but couldn't access. So Doom gave you the device and in that message Reed pointed you to.... another device he left?

#$%&! We're in the wrong place!

Ben... should we be doing this? What if we just have a shrinking reservoir of power left? This isn't even our universe! It's one of a million! And we have to find our Reed and Sue still!

They're dead, aren't they?

Is this what you're trying to do, man? Fill the void left by Reed? By the FF? Doesn't that just leave a void where the Mad Thinker was? Or... are you so much of a joke that no one would care if you were missing?

You thought you could be Reed? Being Reed Richards isn't about being super smart, or having his powers... it's about being selfless. It's about helping people. You really want to be Mister Fantastic, Thinker? Fill some void? Well, last I checked, this world didn't have one anymore.

Nope... there's only one equation we've ever needed. Two plus two... equals four. That solves everything.

Ms. Koul, no one understands the lengths a person would go to for loved ones more than we do. I promise I'll do my best to help your sister -- we'll do our best... because that's what this family is all about.

Unbelievable. Your kid used his disgruntled teen powers for good.

Ladies! Gentlemen! Children of all ages... behold! The Marvel-2!

What the--?! Lab alarm! Now this is a date! You're getting the real F4 experience!

You thought your gods gave you eternal life. But really, your lives ended. You can't die... but you also can't change. You can't become better people. Your lives can't move on... and you'll never know how happy you could've been.

We're the Fantastic Four. We're so used to saving the universe, we think we can fix anything. Or anyone. Sue, we might not have the skill set to deal with this, maybe once... We should look things straight in the eye and admit we need help.

Conversations with Jonathan Storm (Earth-616)

The Acrobat

It's a pleasure to meet the famous Human Torch!

Torch!! But how--? How did you know who I was?

The Acrobat

Surely you jest! Everybody knows that Johnny Storm and the fabulous fire-boy are one and the same person!

Invisible Girl

Of course, Johnny! All of Glenville knows of your dual role!

Holy cow! And all this time I thought I was hiding it so cleverly! Well, I'll be--

— Strange Tales #106

Hold it, fella! I noticed you hanging around! In case you're too shy to ask me, here's my autograph anyway! Don't bother thanking me... I'm just all heart!

Peter Parker

What am I supposed to do, sleep with it under my pillow??

— Amazing Spider-Man #17

Are you tryin to hint that I'm dumb?!

Who's hinting?

I accept your apology!

— Fantastic Four #31

Try to swat me with that asbestos rug, will ya? It's about time I showed you who's top man around here!

Top man?? You red-faced refugee from a kindergarten! I don't know whether to clobber ya or give ya a spankin'!

— Strange Tales #125

Hey, y'know something? I hate to say it, but we make a pretty good team!

Bite your tongue, Hothead!

— Amazing Spider-Man #19

Watch it, he's attacking!

Glad ya told me, bright eyes!

— Fantastic Four #71

Mister Fantastic

It's hopeless, Johnny!

Never thought you'd say that, Reed!

You know Stretcho, kid... if he can't do somethin', he figgers nobody can!

— Fantastic Four #83

More hot buns, Johnny?

Say, Crys... I never knew you were so domestic!

— Fantastic Four #88

Reed, what if he's from some strange undersea race?

Ben Grimm

You mean the old "They're gonna take over the world" trick? How corny can you be?

— Fantastic Four #97

Reed Richards

Johnny, There's only one thing to do -- !

Don't say it! I'm way ahead of you Boss Man! FLAME ON!

— Fantastic Four #98

Poor, dear Johnny! Here -- Let me hold your head in my lap!

Ben Grimm

Y'know -- All of a sudden, I don't feel so good either!

You get an aspirin, you BIG APE!

— Fantastic Four #101

You want us to use the Pogo Plane?

Ben Grimm

Heck, no. I just git my kicks outta openin' 'n shuttin' cockpit doors. Now git in 'n give yer jaws a rest.

— Fantastic Four #108

Reed Richards

Johnny, we can use a smoke screen.

I dig you, Reed, FLAME ON!

— Fantastic Four #114

You know I can't stay -- That I must join Black Bolt and the rest of the Royal Family in trying to save our homeland!

I know, Crys -- And I understand. But at least we've got this time, this moment... And until there'll be others, I can wait and remember this.

— Fantastic Four #118

All I want to hear now, is-- Is it him you love-- or me?

That's just it, Johnny, I-- I don't know!!

— Fantastic Four #131

Y'know Spider-Man -- You can be such a loud-mouthed show-off jerk at times!

Yeah, the same goes for you.

— Fantastic Four #362

I know they say your best friends won't tell you -- but, geez, Spidey, forget about deodorants -- have you considered Lysol?!

Oh, shut up, Torch.

— Untold Tales of Spider-Man Annual #1997

Bite me, bug-boy!

"Arachnid", if you please. If you're going to be insulting, at least get the terms right.

— Fantastic Four Vol 3 #9

Johnny

Wait! Whoever you are -- don't go!

No! We can't meet like this! We can't!

— Fantastic Four: Fireworks #1

You're mad, right? Not disappointed? 'Cause when you're disappointed, that's much worse.

Sue Richards

I'm neither. I'm decisive. This clinches it. Desperate times, desperate measures.

— Fantastic Four Vol 3 #61

Ready to go home?

Reed Richards

We're not going home.

— Fantastic Four #503

I see you found all your clothes.

Except for my boxers.

You truly share way too much.

— Fantastic Four #513

Johnny

Namor's not such a bad guy.

Reed

You're not such a bad guy.

— 4 #9

Sue

..then you'll have no problem piloting this.

Johnny

Whoa...! Don't tell me this bathtub flies.

Ben

'Course it does. He probably dreamed it up one afternoon between Seinfeld reruns. Okay, Susie. You better hope he designed this thing fer these mitts I gor fer hands now...

— Fantastic Four: First Family #5

Invisible Woman

Why don't you two work together and see if you can find any superhumans having some success?

You really do hate me.

You really do hate me.

— Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four #2

I gotta admit, hotshot, that was pretty classic. Heh heh... "Lederhosen." Just the word is funny. Y'know what? I think I hate you less now.

Hey, credit where it's due, you had the idea. We're gonna have to face it--we actually make a pretty good team when it all hits the fan.

— Spider-Man / Fantastic Four #1

My god.

Pete... What the heck are you wearing?

Johnny?

— Fantastic Four #600

Peter Parker

Everyone was trying to buy this place. Alchemax, Roxxon, Hammer. ...and I outbid 'em all. So I could hold onto it... until the day the FF are finally back. And that day will come, Johnny.

Until it does, I'm glad it's staying with family.

— Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 #3

Speaking of handling. Which of your finely tuned and expensive toys are we taking this time? The Spider-Copter? Spider-Cycle? Spider-Underground-Drill-Car?