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There's still that gravity. What people expect. But... birds feel gravity, too. And acrobats, and dancers. And they dive and swoop and tumble anyway. Loop the loop, walk the wire... do tricks. Nah. No more evil. Mischief, now. That's still got legs.
Ah, I see. Well then you've come to the right place, Dario Agger. I've made just these sorts of deals before. Allow me, if you will, to tell you a story. One that begins, long ago... in the age of the vikings.
A treacherous journey. A test of endurance. A dark, forgotten secret. A brand-new beginning. And, last but not least... a beloved brother. Ah, Thor. Sweet, simple Thor. Why can't I remember hating you? Five keys, forged by Odin for his other son... for the day he became worthy. Or learned to fake it... I have done your bidding,All-Mother. May I present, rescued from cold eons locked in lonely bondage... Gram. Sword of Sigurd, the first of our great heroes -- and a fitting weapon for... Loki: Agent of Asgard. So. What's next?
I hope that you enjoy wasting your time, Sinister. Reed made a clone of my brother... and Doom wished to match the feat. But a clone of a god of thunder is very different thing from a god of chaos. Ironically, given time, Doom could have succeeded. The man's a sorcerer. That's why he couldn't be left with it. But you, Mister Sinister, creature of determinism? I'm made of things your philosophy will never comprehend.
I wouldn't say I felt guilty, exactly. I rarely do. But... Tonight, Asgard's oldest hero is in chains in the dungeons of Asgardia. Because of me. His only crime? Roaming free upon Midgard. In other words, today it's him... Tomorrow it's one of us. So tomorrow, I'm going into the deepest, darkest, dungeon-iest dungeon in all Asgardia-- To crack it wide open. Understand me. This is not a heist. A caper. This is a mission, and if you choose to accept it... You are my agents. So. Who's with me?
I have a friend who believes in me. I have a brother whom I love. I am my own, and I will not sit long in any box built for me. These things are right. These things we'll keep. As for the rest... Let's tell a different story. Let's be something new.
I may have been born in Jotunheim, but I was raised in Asgard. And yet I am neither Jotun nor God. Not truly. So what exactly does that make me? For many years I pondered that question before finally realizing the answer: I am... Loki. And a Loki isn't a slave to the whims of his ancestors. A Loki writes his own story. And since you've been dead for so very long, Father, I'll forgive you for not knowing... but my story has been rather fan-%#&#$-tastically good for quite a long damn while now. I'm not the same frightened child you used to swat aside like a fly. I am the Loki who just slaughtered your greatest warriors with nothing but words. So tell me, Father... are you going to continue wasting both our time with your trivial little tests... or would you like to see what a Loki can do to a Thor?
I can't believe I'm saying this... but I hope I didn't just witness the last act of Thor. You and I have a lot of work to do, Ms. Thunder. And believe me... this little war is nothing compared to the one that's just about to explode... in Asgard.
Nothing!Nothing's changed, carpet stain! Nothing that matters!They'll always hate you! You can change however they want and it'll never be enough! You'll always be a liar! The trickster! The villain! Never accepted! Never wanted! Never --
If you say so. So I probably shouldn't care what they think, then, should I? I mean, "King Loki"? Come on. Who wants to be king? I'm done with that. No more ego games. No more jealousy games and revenge games and "make me king" games. I don't need the whole of Asgard to love me --
I told you. You can't kill the stories. Lots survived, and lots will. The Silver Surfer's somewhere around here -- he doesn't need us peering over his shoulder, though. And there's a patchwork planet of fun off somewhere in its own little pocket -- but that's heaving with Lokis already. AndThors. And Doom. And if I'm honest... and sometimes I am... I need a break. So... let's skip ahead a bit. See what comes after. You coming, or what?