Norman Osborn (Earth-616)/Quotes

Why are we still talking about Norman Osborn, and his pathetic costumed attempts at killing Spider-Man?

Norman Osborn kills for reasons, it might not always seem like he does but they're always there. Whether it's power, revenge, or just pure hate, there are reasons. Why do you think his buzzing prevented us from killing his pitiful son? He didn't see the reason. Not me, though, it honestly makes no sense why I kill the people I do. That's why you and I have so much fun together! I'm just so... unreasonable!

That man's no hero, but he'll make a hell of a warden.

Who is this X-Man? He's from the alternate reality... He styles himself as a "Mutant Shaman", identifying entirely with that cause. Precognition. Telepathy. Telekinesis. Energy manipulation powers on a vast scale... A certain unpredictability... A certain wildness of thought... And a Summers, too. He could go one-on-one with the Sentry, which has always been how I judge who's too dangerous...

Nothing keeps me down, Kingsley. Not death. Betrayal. Even the entire world against me! Every time I rise back up! Stronger than before! Every time!

Goblin King. Hobgoblin. Green Goblin. Never made a name for yourself, did you, boy? Want to know why? It's your heart, Phil. It just wasn't in it.

Take a look, Parker--a good, long look--it's the last face Spider-Man will ever see--it's the real face of the Green Goblin--the face of Norman Osborn!

How did someone like me ever have a sniveling weakling of a son like you?!!

Parker! You dare come here? You'll never leave alive!

Did you expect the Green Goblin to let Spider-Man live?

I'll become the equal of Spider-Man-- --no, the superior! All I need-- --all I need is the right face to present to the world-- --the right identity--

Fool! Your power is nothing compared to mine! Your strength is nothing, your intellect is NOTHING!

It wasn't me in the costume, Peter. It wasn't me who terrorized your friends and loved ones. It was all you, m' boy! You all along! Come now. Enter the darkness. Be a man. Be an Osborn.

But now, I've made you look at your reflection, and you don't like what you see in the shadows. One of these days, one of us is going to inevitably kill the other. It's coming, Parker... Sooner than you think. And when it does, you're going to have to choose.

What did I do? Oh, nothing much... I kidnapped his girlfriend. And killed her. Right in front of him. It was a blast!

Wrong, Spider-Man. You're my family, whether you like it or not. And in the good old Osborn tradition... ...I'm inviting you to a reunion.

Ego. You got me with ego.

They have Osborn blood, and Osborn blood... is SPECIAL blood.

Tell me, in your profession, is there a story if no one lives to tell it?

Look familiar, mister Parker?

You broke the rules!

You wrote lies about me, Urich. We're going to set the record straight.

Everyone knows ME, Bullseye. I'm the director of the Thunderbolts. I'm Norman Osborn.

Oh, yes. The Steel Spider. Man. Steel Spider, man. No. Steel Spider. The Steel Spider. The Steel Spider Man. Steel. Spider. Man. Spider. Man. Heh. Spider. Man. Spider-Man. Heh. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Oh God. Heh. Spider-Man. Heh. Ha. Ha ha ha ha.

You are going to study Spider-Man and devise a battle plan that does NOT embarrass me again. Is that clear? Steel Spider. You are going to study Steel Spider.

I want you all to listen very carefully. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not even going to arrest you. Because you work for me now. Not the Thunderbolts. ME. But know this. If you ever - EVER - interfere with me again...I will murder your families, your friends, your loved ones. I'll kill them in ways that will make even sociopaths like you WEEP. And then I will torture you to death. Slowly. And I will enjoy every last moment of it.

There's a space monster and a mad swordsman loose in the base--shall we trust the huge security complement and the team of superhumans to deal with it? Oh, no. Let's make a complete dog's breakfast of the whole operation. So Norman has to clean things up. I'm a fricking martyr to my own innate heroism, is what I am. Norman Osborn, America's last hero. That's what I am.

My name's Norman Osborn. This is my office you trashed and my people you smacked around. Would you like to have a drink and talk about it?

Well, well, well...Parker.

Cute...and whose little boy are you?

What? This old thing? You see, I'm expecting company... and I thought I'd dress for the occasion.

My friends! These creatures think Earth belongs to them! That they can come here - to our home - and make us kneel! But this is our world! This is our country! While a single breath remains in our bodies, we will fight and die to keep it! Stand with me! Show them! Let us shout it with one voice! This...is my country.

For every life you save... there's a million new ways to die.

I don't give a crap about effort. You want a pat on the back, or some words of inspiration, dig up Steve Rogers and see what he says--

Bullseye! They say that in your hands a mundane object becomes a weapon. Let's find out what a weapon becomes. The Zeus' armory. Take anything you want.

It's a new day. So listen carefully... This is how it's going to be. As you all know, I, Norman Osborn, have been given the keys to the kingdom. Tony Stark is out. S.H.I.E.L.D. is no longer. I am heading a new world peacekeeping task force that includes the Initiative and the Avengers franchises. And as far as I am concerned, that is good news for all of you. ... You'll tell me what it is you need, and I'll do that thing. And in return? ... In return, loyalty. Camaraderie. Brothers in arms. ... However, if any of you would sink to your basest instincts...you must know that whatever you have gained from this relationship...can easily be taken away. Like that. By force.

I am the Iron Patriot. I will lead these new Avengers into battle against anyone who would threaten our way of life. My name is Norman Osborn and I approve these Avengers!!

Soon every eye in the world will be on the lookout for Tony Stark.

We're calling it H.A.M.M.E.R. I think it gets the message across ... That this time, we're taking no prisoners.

I think this belongs to you. It was found on your person when the police took you into custody. I believe it belonged to my wife...which, if I'm not mistaken, would make you my daughter-in-law. Let me be the first to say...welcome to the family.

I'm authorizing your request to "visit" Elektra.

Aren't you supposed to be the god of war? Doesn't that also mean being the god of not questioning chain-of-command?

I made Harry... and I can do any damn thing to him I want.

Fired? Heh. I'm afraid you misunderstood. I'm not firing you. Quite the opposite, in fact. Taskmaster...how would you like to run the Initiative?

Have fun. Oh, and Hawkeye? One last thing... Screw this up for me, and I'll have the Sentry throw you into the heart of the sun.

Then a job well done all around, Ms. Marvel. Job well done.

Ladies and gentlemen. My Avengers of tomorrow. Welcome to the future of the Initiative. Welcome...to Camp H.A.M.M.E.R!

Oh Norman...Norman, Norman...Stop kidding yourself. I'm here. I'm always here.

If Rogers' body disappeared during the transfer...where, exactly, did he go?

If you want to know where the bodies are buried, Victoria, just ask me. Because I bury them so deep no one ever finds them.

Clint Barton, you're under arrest. That's one down...

Now...just between me and you, here's my little secret. Here's what it all means... The bad guys always win. Me killing you is just perfect symbolism for the times.

I'm sending him you. He made my list... and all your Christmases have come at once. I want you to kill Daredevil.

Rhodes, this is ridiculous! You can't seriously want to let that thing look inside my head!

I know you, Reaper. I didn't just pick your name out of a phone book, you know? In the end...you'll always do what's in your best interests to do. Everyone else be damned.

Wasn't Skaar's big plan to kill his father?

We never know what chain of events we've set in motion as we perform our daily tasks. Wings of a butterfly and all of that. We suit up, show up, screw up. The results of those screwups don't surface for months...maybe years. Breathe in some asbestos on a job site. Twenty years later -- lung cancer. Send a man to jail. A few years later he becomes ruler of the Earth...he uses your best friend to kill you.

I considered a major celebrity death. Maybe just a few shark attacks. But in the end, I dedided that the most enjoyable distration of all...would be the war crimes trial of the terrorist and traitor James Rhodes!

What can I say? I've saved the best for last. Tonight I'm going to kill the Amazing Spider-Man.

So we need an incident. An Asgardian incident.

The only person who gets to talk to me like that is myself, in the mirror. I'm Norman Osb -- okay.

You hunt and kill Captain America...and Luke Cage...and Ms. Marvel...and Iron Fist...and Clint Barton...and Mockingbird...and Daredevil...and Spider-Woman...and Doctor Strange...and this Doctor Voodoo and all the others. You are my new storm troopers. My new black guard. You hunt them and you kill them. I don't care how. You bring me their heads. And you're off the hook with me. We're square. All sins forgiven. ... Spider-Man too. But I want him alive.

Osborn's mind? You really have dialed the wrong number. I'm glad it's a mistake though. And not a rescue attempt. I mean, I'd hate to have to be indebted -- to those I'm about to kill!

That's enough. You don't get to do 'one day.' Tomorrow belongs to me.

He's dead. You're dead. You're all dead. He's going to kill you all. I was the only one who could stop him...I was the only one who knew what he really was. How -- how powerful he was. I was saving you all from him. You don't know what you've... Oh, no... I was saving you.

Today we learn to wait.

Striking when the opportunity presents itself does not belie a lack of character. It demonstrates a good deal of sense. It fills his belly and that of his pup. The hyena isn't a villain; he's as noble a beast as any. A wise general only fights a war he can win.

I have been delivered here -- for you and for our brethren on the outside -- to burn this hellhole to the ground!

Let me know as soon as he is ready. He'll be the crown jewel of...my...Avengers! So... Does anyone know where I can get a decent suit of armor?

A Hulk. Well >cough<, I've got to thank you. What a gift. I wonder what this will feel like.

No. He won't. Spread the word. There's someone who can keep you all safe from the Spider. Someone who knows his every trick. And how to crush him once and for all. And that would be me.

Oh. Sir, you wound me. We are not a gang. We are so much more. We're a family. An empire! A pantheon! And I? I am your daddy, your God... I Am the Goblin King!

Gather round, my subjects. We have wonderful news. As Wilson Fisk's former minions join our ranks, and we gobble up his infrastructure... ...we've passed the tipping point. 52% of all organized crime in this town is under our control. And for that, we owe a very special thanks to the Spider-Man. For cutting off the heads and leaving us the bodies. As of right now, your Goblin King is now the Goblin Kingpin of Crime! Hee Hee! Without even lifting a finger... ...I'VE ALREADY WON! NEW YORK IS MINE!

Good answer, boy. Now rise. Rise out of Kingsley's shadow. And bask in ours. The Hobgoblin is dead. Rise, my Goblin Knight!

What did Cornell tell me I should say...? Oh, that's right... I need some respek on my name.

This time the Goblin gets -- his just desserts!

Another time, boy. Daddy's got some family bonding to take care of. Hee hee hee!

You're strong. We can feel you trying to fight back. But it's no use. It's time for you to become what you really are... a perfect little monster.

I always did hate kids.

How could I allow this to happen? All this death and destruction. For what? For respect? For control? For fear? For revenge. For destruction. For the death of Spider-Man. For great power. HAHAHAHAHA!

No, no. You're quite right. It's laughable, really... a middle-aged desk jockey like me... throwing punches with Spider-Man. Ha ha ha!

Nor will I be carried out of it by the likes of you, pretending to be my rescuer. After all, you're not terribly good at saving anyone when it really matters-- at least not in my experience.

Everything he has become is a reflection of me and my own evil. The sins of the father, the sins of the son. I can no longer even tell where one ends and the other begins.

I -- I understand why you hate me -- I deserve it -- but, Mary Jane, you must believe me -- this isn't about me. This is about Peter and Harry.

Conversations with Norman Osborn (Earth-616)

Montana

You're nuts, Goblin! The Enforcers don't take orders from anyone!!

Green Goblin

Correction, Ox! I'm not anyone! I'm the Green Goblin!!

— Amazing Spider-Man #14

Green Goblin

After today, you'll never again interfere in any of my plans!

Why? Did you decide to go straight?

— Amazing Spider-Man #23

Swordsman has killed the security detail and is on the move.

Songbird

We should go in there.

No, hold on...he's headed right towards Venom.

Songbird

They'll kill each other.

If we're lucky. Worst case scenario, we take the wounded survivor. I say we let them run right into each other and see what happens. I wonder if we can get a security camera on the fight. And perhaps some popcorn.

— Thunderbolts #119

Deadpool

No way! You know how much I could get for a real Iron Man breast plate on eBay? Let's just use the time to come up with more jokes about Osborn's hair, okay?

Deadpool's inner voice

It looks like it was grown in a Petri dish.

Deadpool

Haw! Nice one! His hairline isn't receding-- it's running away from his face!

Who the hell is he talking to..?

Deadpool

That boy's got a doo-doo head!

— Deadpool Vol 4 #8

Remember. I'll be watching you. Everyone will be watching.

Wolverine

Don't I know it.

— Dark Wolverine #78

Iron Patriot

So, still slapping women around?

Wasp

You still throwing 'em off bridges?

— Mighty Avengers #32

Sondra Muffoletto

Such a waste. A mind like yours, Norman Osborn...You could have saved the world.

I may yet, Senator. I'm not through...As long as I draw breath, I shall never be through.

— Osborn #5

Jessica Jones...how have you been?

Jessica Jones

Better than you.

How is motherhood treating you?

Jessica Jones

Yeah, that's what I want to do: Talk to you about my kid.

You know I'm going to kill that baby.

— New Avengers Vol 2 #16.1

The police? You brought the police down to our secret lair?

Menace

Oh, she's more than that. See, I've been keeping tabs on her. And my little Carlie-Bear's been branching out. She's working on a book. Non-fiction.

Oh ho ho! This is rich!

Menace

Trust me, it's a real page-turner!

Shh! Stop. Don't tell me another word. After all, you wouldn't want to spoil the ending. Hahaha

— Superior Spider-Man #21

If you think reactivating them will intimidate me--

N-no! I'm not doing this! How is Jameson--

Jameson? You poor saps. Surely you've figured out by now that Norman Osborn runs this city... and everything in it. Hahahahaha!

— Superior Spider-Man #29

Aaand here he is at last! The hero of our little drama. Just in time for the thrilling climax! But wait-- a twist! The "hero" isn't one at all. In fact, he never was. Really, Otto, you're just embarrassing yourself with this charade. Granted, you were never on my level, but being a bad guy suited you. Saving that little lady is your last remaining achievement as Spider-Man. When it all goes boom, you'll have nothing left! Hahahaha!

Except the dignity of knowing I never carried a man-purse.

It's you.