Peter Parker (Earth-1610)/Quotes

I was selfish. So selfish -- And you paid the price. You did, I did, Aunt May did. I will never ever forgive myself for that. I will never ever forget I could've stopped it. It's all clear to me now, Uncle Ben. It's like I've been wearing a blindfold and earmuffs all my life -- And someone just ripped them off. I see the world clearly now -- And I see what my place is in it. You were right -- With power comes responsibility. Absolutely. For some reason I've been given great power. And with great power then must come great responsibility. I will never let you down again, Uncle Ben.

I knew there would be trouble when they shut down 'Cats!'

Oh man, I'm going to toss my cookies and... I haven't even had any cookies. In fact, I'm going to go home and have cookies, just so I can toss them!

Why not me? Why shouldn't I get a little bling bling off the whole super hero thing I got goin' on?

Lost my gloves. Right in front of Tony Stark-- I lost my gloves. What a doof.

All right, Parker, you can do this. This is your life now. This is adult swim.

I'm Spider-Man.

I never told you this, but not so long ago this guy, who quite frankly was wackier than Bjork with a case of sunstroke, told me that all these crazy things, all this stuff is somehow connected.

...No, I'm the haircut police. There's a fifty dollar fine for bowlcuts in the city.

Come on... Don't these people know I have a curfew?

(...) a guy, a whole lot smarter than any of us, once told me that with power comes a great deal of responsibility. And that's not just for people with powers, like me. I think it goes for everybody. So I'm just -- going to live my life that way and everything else is noise.

Anyone with metallic octopus arms try to kill you this week?

I was-- I was going to offer you money for fight lessons.

Oh god! I've been shot!

I am, like, the smartest person in Queens... why can't I figure out how to get the lens to stay in my mask?

Told you you were a Mutant...

"I'm not my father"? Who's her father? Batman?

Not the costume! I'm serious! You Nestle Crunch Bar in hot pants, I don't have a spare.

Hey, can we call a time-out? I really have to go to the bathroom.

At first I thought it was a damaged version of myself I was fighting. But no- it wasn't. I saw its face. It was my father.

God! You know why people hate you? It's not because you're mutants!! It's because you're all a bunch of @#$@#$ $@$%@ ##@$!! That's why!! You $%^$%^$%^$$^$%^$%#^%#$ $%#^#$%^$%%^!!! AAAGGHHH!

You'll fail me? I could teach this class.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. For once, let's not screw this up, shall we? I'm going to e-mail her right-

If I was a lesser super hero, I would say something lame like- "Your show's been canceled." But that's not me.

Gwen... You're dead.

You're alive? You're my father and you're alive?

I know I should have told you. I know that now. The reason I did it was I was scared of this. This exact thing. And- and it happened anyhow. And- and the same thing happened with MJ. I was so scared of this one thing happening to either of you and I tried so hard to not make it happen and it happened anyhow. And- and now I know why... I was lying. I was lying to you. I didn't trust you as much as you trusted me and-- And- and what hurt the most was-- you said I wasn't your son. Because to me... I am your son. I am. I have to be. Because to me, you're my mom.

Oh man, I hate when I'm the dartboard. Why do I always get to be the dartboard??

I'm a big fan of yours. You know that. And I hate this fat tub of fatty with every fiber of my being... and I am telling you... if you do this, it's over. You can't take it back.

I knew there was something going on. I could feel it. And it had everything to do with you.

You are all kinds of crazy!! You're crazy plus! You're twenty-first century crazy!! You're new, improved crazy!! You're award-worthy crazy. In fact, c'mere and get your crazy award.

Beetle! Hey, I like that. Beetle. It just came to me!! Not like Paul McCartney. You know, like a bug.

It's -- it's the end of the world. I mean, this is what it looks like, right? What am I supposed to do? Why is there a frickin' subway car on a roof??

Hey Hulk, remember me?? Spider-Man?? We had a moment. We're pals. (Please don't smash me.)

I--uh-- don't watch a lot of TV. I have webs.

Any chance I'm dreaming all of this? Maybe when I got bit by the spider that gave me my powers I went into a coma and this is all just some big hallucination. How great would that be?

Jameson. J. Jonah Jameson. She shot him. She shot him...right in front of me.

I was always wondering what the Hulk would look like all old and creepy.

Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought.

It's okay... I -- I did it. Don't you see... it's okay. I did it. I couldn't save him. Uncle Ben. I couldn't save him... No matter what I did. But I saved you. I did it. I did...

I wouldn't do that if I were you, Normie... I mean, you can kill me all you want... but if you lay one more hand on the president of my fan club, I'm going to have to smack the ugly right off of you. And by the looks of you, that is going to take all night. Boom!

You be Spider-Man. My blessing. It's all yours.

Beetle! Hey, I like that. Beetle. It just came to me!! Not like Paul McCartney. You know, like a bug.

The person I feel really bad about hitting is the Danny Rand guy. The guy with the glowing hand--because like me he was just trying to do something worthwhile--something helpful.

I have a thousand people looking up my webs. This Jessica Jones...who cares?

(...) a guy, a whole lot smarter than any of us, once told me that with power comes a great deal of responsibility. And that's not just for people with powers, like me. I think it goes for everybody. So I'm just -- going to live my life that way and everything else is noise.

I was always wondering what the Hulk would look like all old and creepy.

I thought he had super powers or something. Showbiz phony.

I don't know how else to describe it. There were these floating spots of black all over his body. And- and his body seemed- I don't think he was wearing clothes. All white, chalk-white, with black spots cascading and moving over him and into each other like a human-lava-lamp kind of thing. It was freaky. He was a man made up of spots.

Oh, and there's Moon Knight, who I'm pretty sure is genuinely crazy. And I'm not just making that presumption based on the costume.