Peter Parker (Earth-1610)/Quotes

Quotes by Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Beetle! Hey, I like that. Beetle. It just came to me!! Not like Paul McCartney. You know, like a bug.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

The person I feel really bad about hitting is the Danny Rand guy. The guy with the glowing hand--because like me he was just trying to do something worthwhile--something helpful.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I have a thousand people looking up my webs. This Jessica Jones...who cares?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Oh, and there's Moon Knight, who I'm pretty sure is genuinely crazy. And I'm not just making that presumption based on the costume.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I was always wondering what the Hulk would look like all old and creepy.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I thought he had super powers or something. Showbiz phony.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I don't know how else to describe it. There were these floating spots of black all over his body. And- and his body seemed- I don't think he was wearing clothes. All white, chalk-white, with black spots cascading and moving over him and into each other like a human-lava-lamp kind of thing. It was freaky. He was a man made up of spots.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I was selfish. So selfish -- And you paid the price. You did, I did, Aunt May did. I will never ever forgive myself for that. I will never ever forget I could've stopped it.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I knew there would be trouble when they shut down 'Cats!'

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Oh man, I'm going to toss my cookies and... I haven't even had any cookies. In fact, I'm going to go home and have cookies, just so I can toss them!

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Why not me? Why shouldn't I get a little bling bling off the whole super hero thing I got goin' on?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Lost my gloves. Right in front of Tony Stark-- I lost my gloves. What a doof.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

All right, Parker, you can do this. This is your life now. This is adult swim.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I'm Spider-Man.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I never told you this, but not so long ago this guy, who quite frankly was wackier than Bjork with a case of sunstroke, told me that all these crazy things, all this stuff is somehow connected.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

...No, I'm the haircut police. There's a fifty dollar fine for bowlcuts in the city.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Anyone with metallic octopus arms try to kill you this week?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Come on... Don't these people know I have a curfew?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I thought he had super powers or something. Showbiz phony.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I was-- I was going to offer you money for fight lessons.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Oh god! I've been shot!

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I am, like, the smartest person in Queens... why can't I figure out how to get the lens to stay in my mask?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

"I'm not my father"? Who's her father? Batman?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Not the costume! I'm serious! You Nestle Crunch Bar in hot pants, I don't have a spare.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Hey, can we call a time-out? I really have to go to the bathroom.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

At first I thought it was a damaged version of myself I was fighting. But no- it wasn't. I saw its face. It was my father.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

God! You know why people hate you? It's not because you're mutants!! It's because you're all a bunch of @#$@#$ $@$%@ ##@$!! That's why!! You $%^$%^$%^$$^$%^$%#^%#$ $%#^#$%^$%%^!!! AAAGGHHH!

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

You'll fail me? I could teach this class.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. For once, let's not screw this up, shall we? I'm going to e-mail her right-

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

If I was a lesser super hero, I would say something lame like- "Your show's been canceled." But that's not me.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Gwen... You're dead.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

You're alive? You're my father and you're alive?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I know I should have told you. I know that now. The reason I did it was I was scared of this. This exact thing. And- and it happened anyhow. And- and the same thing happened with MJ. I was so scared of this one thing happening to either of you and I tried so hard to not make it happen and it happened anyhow. And- and now I know why... I was lying. I was lying to you. I didn't trust you as much as you trusted me and-- And- and what hurt the most was-- you said I wasn't your son. Because to me... I am your son. I am. I have to be. Because to me, you're my mom.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Oh man, I hate when I'm the dartboard. Why do I always get to be the dartboard??

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I'm a big fan of yours. You know that. And I hate this fat tub of fatty with every fiber of my being... and I am telling you... if you do this, it's over. You can't take it back.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I knew there was something going on. I could feel it. And it had everything to do with you.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

You are all kinds of crazy!! You're crazy plus! You're twenty-first century crazy!! You're new, improved crazy!! You're award-worthy crazy. In fact, c'mere and get your crazy award.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Beetle! Hey, I like that. Beetle. It just came to me!! Not like Paul McCartney. You know, like a bug.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

It's -- it's the end of the world. I mean, this is what it looks like, right? What am I supposed to do? Why is there a frickin' subway car on a roof??

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Hey Hulk, remember me?? Spider-Man?? We had a moment. We're pals. (Please don't smash me.)

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I--uh-- don't watch a lot of TV. I have webs.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Any chance I'm dreaming all of this? Maybe when I got bit by the spider that gave me my powers I went into a coma and this is all just some big hallucination. How great would that be?

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Jameson. J. Jonah Jameson. She shot him. She shot him...right in front of me.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I was always wondering what the Hulk would look like all old and creepy.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

It's okay... I -- I did it. Don't you see... it's okay. I did it. I couldn't save him. Uncle Ben. I couldn't save him... No matter what I did. But I saved you. I did it. I did...

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

I wouldn't do that if I were you, Normie... I mean, you can kill me all you want... but if you lay one more hand on the president of my fan club, I'm going to have to smack the ugly right off of you. And by the looks of you, that is going to take all night. Boom!

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

You be Spider-Man. My blessing. It's all yours.

--Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Conversations with Peter Parker (Earth-1610)

Spider-Man	Oh, come on. I threw, like, a whole car at you.
Hulk	Mmrr...
Spider-Man	Hey, listen, man... don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

— Ultimate Marvel Team-Up #2

Nick Fury	My name is Nick Fury and you're under arrest! Cease this $#%^% immediately or we'll do it for you!!
Wanda Lehnsherr	Translation: You made a big "whoops!"
Janet van Dyne (Wasp)	What? You guys having a party?
Spider-Man	Hey, I made the same joke!
Kitty Pride	You did it funnier.

— Ultimate Power #2

Nick Fury	What's your bug-sense telling you now?
Spider-Man	My what?
Nick Fury	Your danger sense.
Spider-Man	How do you know I have that?
Nick Fury	Cuz I'm me.

— Ultimate Enemy #2

Spider-Man	Dad?! I know you're not here but I have to at least... Dad? Um... I think one of us in the wrong apartment.
Peter Parker	Yeah, sorry about that...
Spider-Man	Peter Parker?
Peter Parker	I was hoping to get some of my stuff back. It's more than time for the original Spider-Man to get back into the game.

— Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man #1

Miles Morales	Hey, MJ. Is he here?
Mary Jane Watson	Come on, Miles, go away.
Miles Morales	Is he here?
Peter Parker	Let him in. He deserves answers.

— Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man #5