This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by or about Peter Parker (Earth-616).
It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.
Quotes by Peter Parker (Earth-616)
Jonah only goes after me because he loves this city. He genuinely believes Spider-Man is a menace to society. Always has. Look, I'm not saying you have to like everybody you meet. Or that you can't get mad at people when they screw up. Just that it might be worth a minute to try and see things from the other guy's side. Turns out most people--even the grumpy ones who yell--probably don't deserve blunt force trauma on the head.
- Figures. Fuzzball gets the hot cat-lady, and I get locked in the bathroom.
- ...Happy Valentine's Day, Spider-Man. You get to resuscitate an old man you just pulled up from the sewer.
- Adoma. Congratulations. You just became the first winner of a Parker Industries college scholarship.
- Did I just get rescued by two girls? Awesome.
- We're not just our failures. As much as they hurt, we learn from them. Then we go out there and do our best to make up for them-- Even though we never will. We save people. We save as many as we can to make up for the ones we couldn't. That's all we do.
- Just be straight with me, Crystal. You wouldn't keep showing up by these things if you hadn't found anything. And hey -- I'm the guy who third-wheeled your dates with Johnny Storm while the Inhumans were still a secret society. Whatever it is you're keeping from the world at large -- you can trust me.
- I know you grew up as isolationists, Crystal... but you don't have to go it alone anymore.
- One scientific mishap, and hours later I'm sewing a costume. Déjà diddly vu. Okay world, better hang on to your hat... here comes Alpha!
- My fault -- all my fault! If only I had stopped him when I could have! But I didn't -- and now -- Uncle Ben -- is dead...
- Seriously, a clinic that super heroes frequent and you think, "That's the place I want to rip off next"?! Let me ask you, and be honest, are you stupid? Or really, really stupid?
- But it's not the same thing! All these years--I've done my best to make up for that! I've wore this suit--gone out there and put my life on the line again and again! But no matter how hard I try-- --people-- --die!
- You've shown that now you're willing to sacrifice anyone --anything-- to save yourself! And I don't owe you anything anymore!
- Hey, if you're going to go against the BIG BOYS, you're going to have to have a tad more staying power.
- Well, wobble my webs and call me shaky! It's Goldilocks -- the hippest hammer in the west!
- You say you don't want the responsibility? Guess what? People like us...we don't get a choice.
- Check the rulebook, buddy! You're not allowed to bring automatic weapons into a super-people fight! Unless you're the Punisher 'cause, you know, who's gonna tell him it's against the rules?
- Go figure: I leave Betty's fake psychic... to go after a real creep... because he didn't set off my psychic powers. The irony here is not lost on me.
- I said, "You're welcome." Sorry, I have laryngitis.
- Life sucks sometimes... but it's always worth living.
- Seriously, what is it with New York? Would it kill you to invade Denver once? But no. You've always got to destroy Central Park or eat the Statue of Liberty... Bad guys are such tourists.
- I drank the potion-- even though it was untried-- it was untested-- because I wanted it to change me but-- not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!
- You're the creep who's going to pay! I'm going to get you, Goblin! I'm going to destroy you slowly, and when you start begging for me to end it - I'm going to remind you of one thing - You KILLED the woman I love! And for that you're going to DIE!
- You're talking about my lady, creep! Someone I love--I mean loved--! Do you know what that means? Have you any idea what that means?? I loved her, Goblin! And you--! You--took--her--away! Filthy--worm-eating--scum!
- Sorry MJ... Guess my mind was on other things. Just had a talk with someone... and it made me suddenly realize... hey, I'm not really alone, after all.
- I can't get over that feeling of menace... as though something pretty bad was about to happen -- to none other than your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
- Save it for the papers, Jonah. Save it for tomorrow.
- It's too late to go back to work with the Torch...and it's too early to go home. Guess all that's left is some web-slinging. Maybe that will cheer me up. Seems like everytime I finish a fight, I'm all alone again--which makes me think of Gwendy--and brother...that makes me want to die!
- He -- he dropped me! I never realized -- never thought --! I'm too high up to snag a building with my web -- there's no way for me to catch myself! Looks like this time -- I've had it!
- He-he dropped me! I never realized--never thought--! I'm too high to snag a building with my web--there's no way for me to catch myself! Looks like this time--I've had it!
- I just dropped by to congratulate you on a perfect record! So far you've been 100 % wrong about me! I've got to hand it to you -- I'll bet it's not easy to make a fool out of yourself all the time!
- Oh no! No! It can't be happening! It can't be--! Doc Ock is marrying Aunt May!
- My head... spinning again. That cold is really wrecking me... can hardly stand... UNNNNNH! It's not the cold... it can't be. My strength's emptying out -- feel all drained, on fire! Radiation poisoning -- I was exposed too -- the radiation must be hitting my own radioactive blood -- eating at me -- dissolving my energy -- destroying me! Can't move -- can hardly think! Is this -- is this it? IS THIS THE END OF SPIDER-MAN?
- RAXTON, NO! The water's too cold -- your body will --
- Holy Cow! It's really him -- The Green Goblin lives again!
- Whatever I can give, he's got. You see, officer... he's my friend.
- It's the Jackal! And from the way he's talking -- MY PROBLEMS HAVE JUST BEGUN!
- Make that "chump", not champ, Max. You were Jameson's chump ten years ago -- now you've been the Jackal's. But don't worry -- someday, I'll get the Jackal too. And that, my fat friend -- is a promise from Spider-Man!
- Then -- it's finally happened! I'm cracking up -- Peter Parker is -- insane!
- No! It can't be! Gwen is dead! That can't be her!
- Gwen? You're -- ALIVE -- ?
- Okay, hero-man... let's see you get out of this!
- PROFESSOR WARREN! THE JACKAL IS -- PROFESSOR WARREN!
- Fate gave me some terrific super-powers, and I realize now that it's my duty to use them... without doubt... without hesitation!! ...and that means Spider-Man is going into action again! I'll fight as I've never fought before!! Nothing will stop me now! For I know at last that a man can't change his destiny... and I was born to be... Spider-Man!!!
- Right now, I'd trade the whole Spider-Man bit for a rocking chair and a subscription to Reader's Digest.
- I need a place to change! A phone booth--? Nah! Even I'm not that corny!
- I can't believe all that's happened in the last twenty-four hours! Mary Jane announced that she's always known that I'm Spider-Man! I have an argument with Black Cat, and a real doozie of a nightmare! Not only do I learn that my costume's alive, but I'm also the butt of one of the Human Torch's sick pranks!
- I might as well face it... being Spider-Man is just plain habit-forming! It's like going out with girls!.. I can't give it up!
- He...He used to be the Herald of Galactus! Galactus for Pete's sake! He could have killed me!
- Someday, you'll make a mistake. And I'll be waiting!
- Blast it Mary Jane, this can't wait! All I need is a yes or no: will you marry me?
- I really should re-design my web-shooters so this won't happen again! Either that--or sew a change pocket into my costume so I can carry bus fare! No, with a costume this tight--people might think I had cellulite!
- There's no way out! She'd never have me as I am--and I just can't give up being Spider-Man! So, she'll end up marrying Leeds--and living the quiet, uneventful life she dreams of! There's only one thing I've got to figure out--how do I forget about--the girl I love??
- I've always felt I was partly responsible for the death of Uncle Ben, because he was killed by a criminal whom I didn't catch! And now--Aunt May! The two people I've loved most in the world--who were like my own father and mother to me--! Yet, their love for me--their kindness to me-- has brought them nothing but--tragedy! But it can't happen again! It mustn't! It mustn't! Not to Aunt May!! She's been too good--too kind--! I can't pay her back-- like this!! There must be some way to save her! There must be! And I'll find it! Somewhere, somehow--I'll find it! No matter what the cost--I'll save her!
- Anyone can win a fight--when the odds--are easy! It's when the going's tough--when there seems to be no chance--that's when--it counts!
- I'm through being Spider-Man, Doc! I want you to use your machine to remove my powers! Completely! Forever!
- Iron! Iron's a metal! And his punch felt like metal! It's a long shot -- but it could be -- the Molten Man! I'd bet on it!
- The next few days are going to be rough. I've still got a concussion to heal! And Mary Jane's going to be upset for quite a while! It'll take time, and talk, and affection. But I know we can work it out. After all -- I'm getting pretty good at reconciling things!
- Loki created that monster! And if destruction is what Loki wanted -- destruction is what we're gonna get!
- I see it -- but there's no way we can get to it in time to stop it!
- We're with you, Thrasher. Er... it's okay if I call you Thrasher isn't it -- even though we just met? I'm generally on a first name basis with anybody who attacks me from behind.
- That guard! Crane's about to roll over his fingers! But I don't have time to save him and Cardiac! What'll I Do?!!
- ... I have to set Venom loose!
- Sorry, M.J. and thanks. It's just that, it was bad enough when I found out years ago that my parents were government couriers, that they died on a spy mission against the Red Skull! But when they showed up yesterday alive, saying they'd been in Russian prison camps for the last 20 years -- ! Well, I guess I'm more messed up than I thought. I want to love these people, but how can I even believe them? If only I could find the Skull, have him confirm or deny their story...
- Have no fear! Spidey is here!
- Once Carnage and his band of animals have to face the cutting edge of technology -- they're as good as finished!
- Know why I hate you, Leeds--? Because you have the right to propose to Betty! The shadow of--Spider-Man--isn't standing between you!
- Being true to what I am is the most important thing! I realize it now! And if I ignore it -- everything else in my life, including my relationship with Mary Jane, will be nothing but a hollow sham! M.J. was wrong! This is worth the risk!
- Ahhh, what a delightful aroma! Chanel No. 5 and Oregano!
- I thought hassles about guys with long hair went out with the 60's!
- I can't deal with Parker's life. Parker's world as it is today. But here... I can at least remember his yesterdays. As hard as it was for me, growing up without parents-- there were a lot of wonderful times in this house with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. I was loved here. Protected.
- Boy! No wonder you covered your head the way you did! I don't know who you are, but one thing's for sure--a beauty contest winner you ain't!
- The Super Hero Union only requires me to deliver one last minute rescue per customer!
- I have to go make the world safe for truth and justice and like that. Hope I didn't infringe on any copyrights with that line!
- Now don't get the feeling that I'm mad at you... It's just that I hate anybody to skip around town in a jazzier costume than mine!
- I can't let a common cold put me out of action! Otherwise, next time around, I'm liable to cry uncle if I develop some dandruff... or a case of chaffed lips! I might even become the only super-hero in town who won't fight because he's got acne!
- When you beat me last time, you were fighting a sick little Spider-Man! Even Doris Day could'a knocked me for a loop that time!
- There are some things in my life that you just don't touch if you want to walk away with your spine intact.
- You oughtta be ashamed of yourselves! not only do you try to hijack one of the classiest places in town, but you didn't even phone ahead for a reservation!
- What the Bleep is WRONG with you? I almost had Doctor Doom until I tripped over you and this stupid [Bleep] camera! Now stop [Bleep] following me! If I see you again, I'll [Bleep] you [Bleep] camera up your [Bleep][Bleeeep]!
- Why is it that every time I've ever tried to get my life together--it almost always ends up with me being late for school?
- If I'm right...and I think I am..all those hits were just a diversion from their real agenda: to smuggle something very dangerous into the country.
- Empire State University. Where Spider-Man was born. And, now, where he may die. Oh, the irony.
- MJ... May... I'll never leave you again. Never. Never. Never.
- But now I think... maybe there's even more to the powers I got that day, and maybe I can use them to help people more than I ever imagined. Tonight, if I hadn't been open to those powers, I might never have reached that girl in time.
- Don't get your gums in an uproar, Mallet-Head! I was just reading your column to get my laugh for the day! Where do you get the nerve to call your rag a newspaper? Who's been writing your stuff these days--the Brothers Grimm?!! Anyone who pays a dime for that scandal sheet oughtta get eleven cents change!
- It would be simpler, and more legal, if guys like me registered. If we were regulated, like the AMA or any of those other initial-groups. The problem is that after registration always comes regulation.
- If the cost of silence is the soul of the country...If the cost of tacit support is that we lose the very things that make this nation the greatest in human history, then the price is too high.
- Whether a law is right or wrong, moral or immoral, is an idea, a personal philosophy... but it always seems that fights over ideas skip over the barrier into the real world and become battles of real violence.
- I will find them. And when I do--I'm going to kill them.
- Ock broke through it for one reason... to flaunt his strength before me... out of pure cussedness! But now he'll learn how cussed Spider-Man can be! I'll show him what strength really is! He won't get another chance to return and jeopardize the life of Aunt May! No matter where he is, I'll find him! And this time, nothing will stop me from ridding the world forever of the menace of Dr. Octopus!
- Just one thing, Mr. Fisk. You can die.
- End of the road, Fisk. You. Me. RIGHT NOW.
- I've done something far worse than kill you, Fisk. I've beaten you.
- You would not believe the day I'm having.
- So, what's your story, sweet cheeks? Is there an introductory super-villain promotion going on? Because you're my third newbie this month!
- Still, shooting the mutant with a healing factor probably wasn't the best use of your arrows. You're just going to make him...mad.
- H-Have t-to admit, though...I'm s-starting to wish I'd b-been bitten by a radioactive p-polar bear.
- You'll never make the Yankees with a swing like that! Or even the Mets! Of course I don't think they have a uniform in your size.
- Even though I can't remember... even though I don't really know you... every instinct within me wants to smash out... to strike... to destroy you!
- Hello? Creepy waif girl? Sorry about the "paper doll" crack. That seemed to touch a nerve.
- Thanks for the heads up "mystery girl". In fact, thanks for all of 'em. We made a pretty good team.
- Whoa! I haven't seen this many villains, thugs, and lowlifes in one place since I watched C-Span's coverage of congress yesterday!
- You can't arrest me. I'm the good guy
- Devil Man, Devil Man, Dares whatever a devil can. Is he brave? Listen here. Just call 'im the Man sans Fear. Hey there! There goes the Devil Man!
- Well, I never thought I'd say this...Spider-Man's gonna save me!
- But without a Tommy Gun and a "dirty rat"--you're not my Hammerhead.
- If Johnny Storm doesn't jump out right now and tell me I've been super-punked, someone's getting hit in the gonads.
- Kill him? Wait, you mean this isn't the Love Boat?! Dang, I was really hoping you and Charo could help me rekindle my marriage...I really got to update my references.
- Stand back and, above all, ignore my girlish scream of anguish -- because this is gonna hurt.
- I know who I am. Who are you? Gray Guy? Half-Tone, the Faceless Wonder?
- Too slow, Golden Boy. Me on the other hand? I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee...well, more like float like a spider, sting like a spider. Which is odd, because spiders neither float nor sting.
- Ya hear that, Chameleon? The President-elect here just appointed me... Secretary of Shuttin' You Up!
- I'm not a serial killer! I like...nay love cereal! Fruit Loops is my favorite! Then again, Lucky Charms isn't so bad, either. Believe me, I'm a firm believer that every red-blooded American kid should start his day with a half-pound of sugar, magic marshmallows, and a spastic leprechaun who wants to steal your breakfast.
- I am the Spider. I own the night. I'm your worst nightmare come to life, punk, and you're looking right at--*Kof!* *Hack!* How can he keep that up for an entire movie..?
- I'm not your pal. And these? These aren't my clothes. This's my disguise. It's not who I am. This--this super hero stuff isn't my life! My real life's back on Earth! With my real friends and my real family...
- Must. Wash. Brain...!
- Spoiler! I've read that one! Turns out he likes green eggs and ham!
- Bowl Psi-Isad Oosh (say it fast)
- Man. I should start a blog. "Spiderfail.org"
- Hi, Danielle. I Pida-Man. Spida-Mun. Spider-Man. I don't even know what I just blabbered. Just pick the one that made the most sense.
- I let it all go by pulling her closer and everything else fades away. For a second.. the last second before my brain shuts off and I become all body, I can't help but think what a bad idea this is... And I smile. Bring It On.
- She's a bad guy, folks. You should stop giving her attention and use the internet for what it was invented for...using the Googles to find Norman Os-porn. Everybody knows that.
- Yeah, well I need a Video Music Award, but you don't see me attacking Taylor Swift.
- Sorry folks, Screwball's webcast is off the air. Please go back to watching monkeys on ice-skates or whatever else you do with the internet.
- I'm talking to the guy who's filming, watching, and getting his jollies from every minute of this. You went too far this time, Mysterio! Now it's personal!
- Didn't they ever tell you not to broadcast your plans? But that's the trouble with women... they just can't keep their mouths shut!
- Jonah may be--is--the cheapest, most arrogant, most annoying carbon-based life form in the galaxy...but even he deserves not to be smeared.
- What do I do now? How did I lose this badly? How much worse can my life get?
- This...this won't please the Enigma Force.
- Look, none of us sought the power we have. It just happened to us. We're all here by--accident!
- May...I...I know that I've been annoying you lately. And I'm sorry...I just...I need you Aunt May. Please, stop yelling...I need to know we don't all want to hurt each other...that can't be what's inside everyone.
- By the way, my brother wanted me to give you this.
- I blew it, Strange, I did the one thing I promised myself I would never do. I put my family in the crosshairs and no matter how many times I go over it in my head, I keep coming back to the same thing. I need the world to forget that I'm Spider-Man.
- Hang on! Baby's first ride's about to get bumpy!
- What?! Oh, this?! It's how I do my best work! In the buff! Say! Isn't this a private lab?!
- And with all my gear here in my secure vault, for once my Peter-Parker-life is 100% Spider-Free
- With my spider-strength, speed, and agility nothing could've stopped me from landing any sports scholarship-- or getting on any professional team I wanted. Nothing except a sense of responsibility. And a tiny bit of pride.
- How are you walking like that?! At these G's?! You been workin' out, Mac?!
- I'm done. Done accepting things the way they are. I swear to you... ...from now on... ...whenever I'm around, wherever I am... No one dies!
- I can do this. It's not impossible. Not for me. I have great power, resources, and resolve. And I will make this work. Not for Uncle Ben, Captain Stacy, Gwen, Marla, or any of the others I failed in the past. This is for you, for all of the living, for everyone out there! I'm going to make you all proud. You'll see. I promise.
- Oy. With the guilt. Fine! Wanna be in the Fantastic Four, Spidey? Sure. What? Oh. We're the Future Foundation now. Bait n' switch if you ask me. Razzin' frazzin'...
- Home sweet home! Dimensionally if not geographically that is...
- This is my fault. I brought them up against an enemy they're not even close to ready for. And now they're going to die. And it's all my fault... Just like Marla...Just like Uncle Ben. I didn't save him. He died because I was weak. Because I wasn't good enough. I made a promise to him that day that I could never be good enough to keep... But I swore I'd never stop trying. I know I'm not good enough. I never will be. That's no excuse to stop fighting. No matter how much it scares me. No matter how much it hurts. Ben Parker taught me that. And nothing scares me more than letting him down.
- Not gonna happen. I'm not giving up on you. Any of you. There have been plenty of times I wanted to give up on myself. When just about everybody wrote me off. But there was always someone who didn't. Some of those people are still around... and some aren't. They believed in me. And there's no way I'd let them down. I believe in you. And this foot! I know you've been through a lot. Things nobody should have to face. But I'll show you there's always a better way.
- Hey. If you're watching this, you know what's going on. Some New Yorkers woke up today with spider-powers... And they're tearing the city apart. And all over the world, no one's asking "Why would they do that?" Because everybody knows... New Yorkers are loud, rude, obnoxious jerks! Well, guess what? The rest of the world is wrong! 'Cause today, like a lot of you, I found out that I've got spider-powers too! And I'm gonna do my part! My name's Peter Parker, I'm a native New Yorker... And when I look around this city, I don't see a bunch a' jerks. Know what I see? Teachers, nurses, cops, parents, neighboors, friends... Good people who give their all! Everywhere I look, I see heroes! Now lets show 'em this didn't just happen to the jerks, it happened to the real New Yorkers too! And that today, we're not just heroes... We're Super-Heroes!
- No matter how small I am--no matter how hopeless everything seems--I mustn't give up! My size doesn't matter! Even my life doesn't matter! No one can win--every battle, but--no man should fall-- without a struggle!
- They can chain her up, but they can't take away her bad luck powers. And if I know Felicia...She's not sitting still waiting for a rescue.
- Why didn't I see it before?! Doc's ice pellet! It's the same tech I created for my cryo cube! And the armor he's using... It's based on my helmet design! His stealth satellites... are using the same principle as my noice reduction system! All my inventions for Horizon, everything I've put out into the world--Doc's modified it! Twisted it! I've given him everything he needs! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!
- C'mon! The world's counting on you! Everyone you know and love! What about Sable?! Are you going to let her sacrifice be for nothing?! Forget the math, Parker! Forget what's possible! DO THIS! NOW!
- This is a hunt. I'm not here to fight you--- I'm here to end you!
- I always thought fat fellas were supposed to be jolly! They oughta toss you out of the union!
- One scientific mishap, and hours later I'm sewing a costume. Déjà diddly vu. Okay, world, better hang on to your hat... Here comes Alpha!
- Hate it whenever they say 'Plan B'. That's super villain code for 'blow everything up'.
- My mind must be going. I brought super villains into this...almost freed the Lizard. I shouldn't be a part of any of this. I--I'm Spider-Man.
- The more I risk my life... the more deadly chances I take... the less good it seems to do! With all my strength ... with all my powers... why can't I ever make things right?
- No, Peter Parker could never reach Aunt May. But Spider-Man can.
- I beg to differ, matchstick-- --but I'm not exactly sweatin' this one.
- But sometimes fighting fire with fire isn't the answer...
- Have no fear, Spidey's here!
- What we have here is a failure to communicate!
- I sure am popular in this town! If I ran for Mayor... even Mao T'se Tung would beat me!
- Listen to me hot stuff! It's a private fight between the Lizard and me!
- It's time I forgot about little ol' web-swinger for a while... and paid some attention to the private life of Peter Parker... who happens to be my favorite civilian!
- Man, I really needed that. For all my complaining and whining, it's all so clear to me now... things are looking up. Not for Peter Parker. But y'know what? Forget that guy. Who needs him? 'cause whenever I want, I can be the Amazing Spider-Man.
- It's like, I'd finally gotten everything right for once, y'know? I was pushing science forward! Helping around the world, as both Spider-Man and Peter Parker. This is what I'd been working toward my whole life! Of course I managed to blow it all up.
- Unbelievable. Flash Thompson thinks I'm being a bully.
- If Scorpio hasn't come out by now, maybe he never will.
- I couldn't last three minutes in the ring with you. Spider-Man's tapping out. But that's where you made your mistake, Norman. Because I'm still here. I'm Peter Parker. The Man in Spider-Man. And I'm the one who's going to take you down.
- Say! You don't happen to be related to another sunshine boy named J. Jonah Jameson, do you?
- There she is! Man... standing next to those million dollar paintings, she still looks like the only masterpiece in the place!
- Hey, Flash-Man. Always so cool. This guy? He knew a waltz from a cha-cha. Who am I kidding? You were a bully. My bully. When I think of all the lockers you shoved me into... but here's the thing... bullies don't come out of nowhere. Someone always hurt them first. Didn't find that out about you, Flash, until years later. Then one day, everything changed. You told me you found a hero to look up to. And you started a life of service. Helped your fellow man. Saved so many lives. Protecting others in ways people will never know. You became a man we're all so proud of. And me? I've found myself to be a bit of bully now and then. Making fun of others. Rattling their cages. Telling myself they deserve it. I want you to know that I want to change. Because of you, Eugene "Flash" Thompson. I hope you can be proud of me. I know you're my friend, but there's something I never told you. I'm your number one fan. You're the hero I look up to.
- If this is a victory... I'd hate to be defeated.
- Which is worse...? Staying behind while other guys are doing the fighting...? Or fighting in a war that nobody wants... against an enemy you don't even hate?
- Know something? You make a lousy prophet!
- People are always warning me! It's nice to know they care!
- Who the --? What the --? How the --? Who is he? His moves... they're somewhat like mine, but... more like he's flying than leaping.
- A grown man who puts on spandex and swings from rooftops in order to fight crime! Maybe I'm as insane as they are. But I guess it could always be worse. I'm lucky to have survived. Lucky to not be insane. Still, I can't help but think... ...how much luckier I'd be if I'd never become Spider-Man!
- --Oh, come on! Today! Everything has to happen today?!
- You know that good old mindless super-hero versus world dominating villain kind of thing. Lots of punches, puns, blasts and web... ...bing?!
- The way he's looking at me. He's got to know. And he's holding it against me... Not buying any of the photos... ...what am I going to do now?
- Fine! Everything that can go wrong does go wrong... ...fine! Children in trouble. drug busts...the Sandman! Fine! Fine! Fine! I'll handle it all! I'll save the day! I'll beat the bad guy! And I will get to my blasted job interview! Because... ...I'm going to have a life!
- My back-pack?! Where --? My costume and web shooters! They're... ...gone!
- Omigosh! It's a girl! Just a kid! What was she--
- You'd think I could come up with some way to get my life in order so that I'm not always just scraping by. Why can't things ever work out for me the way they do for everyone else?
- Remember me... Spider-Man... misunderstood hero. That's Hero... capital of H... also one of the good guys! And I do not kill people! Ever!
- Okay, Arthur, big ugly monster guys and saving the world are my bailiwick. Did I fit bailiwick into a conversation? Cool!
- I've been thinking of changing my name to something a little more millennial. Yeah... That's it... Millennial Man. He fights with the power of a million years.
- Tell you what: we're going to give this poor kitty a break. His life's been screwed with more than enough. We're going to let him live a little... hang out with his cat friends... get a girlfriend... live in peace. ...hopefully some place far, far away. Shoo! Go on... get! Make some friends... ...and let me get back to mine!
- I already met that someone, Jill. And she was taken away from me.
- I... I knew... I knew. I knew you were alive! Who did this? Why?
- Who am I? My name's Peter Parker. I'm the new science teacher.
- Hello, God... This is Peter Parker. Can I ask a favor? I know I've been your personal cat toy for the last few years...but can we not do that to me again for a while? Not real long, I know the odds on that are about zero...but just for a little while. Say...fifty or sixty years? I mean, that's not long in your terms, right? Just kidding, God... Just kidding. But I'll bet you knew that, didn't you?
- Only madmen could contain the thought, execute the act, fly the planes. The sane world will always be vulnerable to madmen, because we cannot go where they go to conceive of such things. We could not see it coming. We could not be here before it happened. We could not stop it. But we are here now. You cannot see us for the dust, but we are here. You cannot hear us for the cries, but we are here.
- If there's any way I can help, just... let me know. No strings. Honest and true. Deal?
- Honestly...not all it's cracked up to be. I mean...I'm glad MJ is having so much fun and all, and the money's great...I think...but I just didn't expect her to be out of town so much. I see her between flights and...well, it's not what I expected from our marriage.
- But I got plans to meet a special lady at the airport tonight, and nobody's getting in my way. Especially-- --not-- you!
- I don't need any promises, MJ. I'll wait for you as long as you need. Or until the stars turn cold and fall from the sky. Whichever comes first.
- Because you have to know-- --that it's not true. And I'm going to take care of it. One way or another. But it's not true, MJ. I swear it. I swear it. I--
- Could I have another one of those, if you've got a spare, because that was good, the whole lips thing, and the face touching, because I could do that all night until I go on patrol and --
- Anybody ever tell you that you fight like a girl? I'm just asking in case there's anything you want to tell the group.
- Everybody in our odd little community would deny it, but we all watch each other when we cross paths, looking for weaknesses, in case that day ever comes. In case they ever have to stop me...or I ever have to stop them. But we never talk about it. Ever.
- Tell somebody you love them, or hit them, and you can't foresee all the possible consequences. You do "A" because it's a good thing. But "A" has consequence "B" which is a bad thing for somebody else. Sometimes I focus so much on what I'm doing right now to fix something, that I forget even bad guys have families.
- What is it? Am I talking too much about the "Other Me", or maybe I didn't ask you how your day went, and I know how I can get caught up on one topic and talk for a long time without stopping in these really long run-on sentences and--
- I'm not sure, Aunt May, but... it's... a weird feeling... I don't know how to describe it... Like the world is a bit off center.
- What do I do now? I've let you down, Uncle Ben. And now Aunt May too. Before, she was afraid I was a drug dealer. Now, if she knew the truth, she'd be even more upset. That's it. I'm through being Spider-Man! I'm done!
- I didn't know where else to go... Clash is my responsibility. I inspired him. Helped make him. Spurred him on. And I couldn't stop him. I can't stop him. And on top of that, I've let everyone down. I've let you down. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry.
- Hope you were watching, Uncle Ben. 'Cause I did that for you. Kept everyone safe. Kept them from being scared. And I made it fun. It doesn't matter that most of 'em wouldn't have lifted a finger for Peter Parker. That's not why you do it. You do it 'cause it's the right thing to do. Because it's what you would've done. You were more than a father to me, Ben Parker. More than a role model... You were my hero. Now it's my turn. Because from now on, I'm going to be yours! You'll see. I'm going to give it my all! We'll have fun! I'll never quit -- and it's going to be Amazing!
- Vile?! We're vile? You were about to cut open a baby! Know what, Great Hunters? Spider season is over! It's dirtbag season. Get 'em!
- No contest, Otto. A real hero wouldn't have threatened Anya's life. Or risked the fate of the universe to save his own skin. The greatest heroes put others in front of themselves. One day you will understand that. On the day you sacrifice everything. The day you give up that body. The day you finally accept that I am the Superior Spider-Man!
- Choices matter. Fate is fragile. I know because I'm not just a physicist. I'm your typical Friendly Neighborhood Web-Spinner. And I have a very bad feeling Yuri Watanabe just made a very bad choice.
- I trusted you, Yuri. I trusted you!
- The Yuri Watanabe I knew was a passionate cop and reluctant vigilante. This woman--I'm not sure who she is.
- The world turns, people turn, everything turns. And it never turns. What can you say? It's the circle of life. But it isn't really a circle. Not really. It's a Spiral. The thing about spirals? So go up. Some go down. And some just go 'round and 'round.
- That-- that was one of the Watcher's eyes?! But the Watcher's seen... everything. Ahh! Millions of secrets! Things that were kept from me! Filling my head all at once! The spider! After it bit me-- --it bit someone else?! A girl? I--never knew! Who is she? Ezekiel?!
- Today was a bump in the road, but I'm feeling good about all of this. One Super Villain's cured. A zillion more to go. I can do this. I've got my own company! All these resources. Good friends by my side. I can feel it. We're gonna change the worlds! This is going to work!
- We're not here to build a fortune. We're here to build the future. We live in a time where heroes save the world every day. But what are they saving it for? My greatest hero was my Uncle Ben. He saved so many people's worlds, you wouldn't believe it. Helping a neighboor with their mortage. Another with his groceries. He barely had anything, but he did so much with what he had. Running a global company like this is the most power I'll ever have. And in his name, I'm gong to do it responsibily. Create jobs. Equal employment. Green technologies. A chance for all of us to work together... not to save a world, but to make a world worth saving.
- So long, Santies. The next time you need help... ask somebody else.
- I don't know where you are. Or what you're planning. But I know it's big. And I know if we don't stop you, it'll be our fault. So yeah, I'm ready to lose it all -- if it means taking you down!
- Roman got so obsessed with his "mission" he let it take over his life. Probably a lesson in there for guys like us.
- As Spider-Man. And I don't always win. And people die. But look at this and imagine... what I could do with it as Peter Parker.
- No, Brain. It was a good thing. Your old master did something noble that day-- and humble. He admitted that I was the Superior Spider-Man. He asked for help. And out of love he wiped his own brain.
- Spent most of my life paycheck to paycheck. Always late with the rent. Now look at me. Name on the building. Forty-seven buildings actually. And gotta say, loving the view.
- Hey, I have a lot of friends who are clones. I'm not questioning whether you're a thinking, feeling human being with a right to life, liberty, and all that. But you're not Gwen.
- You have no idea. What I've been through. What I've lost... I need a win, Bobbi. I want Osborn!
- End of the day, this company gives me power I've never had. And if I can use it to save people -- and help Spider-Man stop a bad guy? It's all been worth it.
- Don't you get it yet?! Why I win? Why I always beat you in the end? Because I never give up! I always find a way!
- Otto Octavius is coming. He wants to raid this place, and loot it of all the hard work we've done. I can't even begin to to think what he -- or Hydra -- would do with our intellectual property. I have a plan, but I'm going to need your help. You're some of the most creative thinkers I've ever met. I know we can do this together. Are you with me?
- Parker Industries Shanghai, this is it. I didn't want to have to make this call, but we're facing a hostile takeover. Literally. Not by investors or another company. By a super villain... who's working for Hydra. And we know he's listening in. Tonight, he's knocking on our front door, but tomorrow, he could be sneaking in through the back. If he does, all the great work we've done here... would be twisted into helping the worst people on Earth. We know what we have to do. It's time. It's been an honor to build up this company with you. Now, let's tear it down! You hear that, Doc? I'm calling it -- Parker Industries no more!
- The way Peter tells it, May, you're not his aunt. You raised him. You're his mom. And I know if he had to... he'd stop the world for you.
- All of Parker Industries' greatest discoveries have come from helping Spidey out. That is how we work here. We help him save the world, then we repurpose that tech to make that world a better place. You'll see. It's all for the best.
- All right. That was actually a pretty smart -- though completely evil -- move.
- We tell ourselves stories to get through the hard times. And, yes, how we tell them matters. But the truth is, there's only so far they'll take you. You can play the dream in your head over and over, but if you want things to change -- if you want that story to be your life, you have to wake up. You have to make it real. This is my story -- our story.
- Oh God. It's a museum of Jonah. This is my worst nightmare.
- Truth be told... I don't know how Aunt May put up with me.
- I wish I could ask Aunt May. She'd know what to do. She always knows what to do.
- So yeah, it's official. Peter Parker is Spider-Man no more. Or Spider-Man is Peter Parker no more. Depends on your perspective.
- I'm back! I can already feel myself trying to be funny again! And there's that overwhelming sense of guilt and regret I missed so much!
- '
- You think this is a lot of wreckage? This is nothin'! This one time, Doc Ock dumped his entire underwater headquarters on me! Water was rushing in...but I never gave up! I never gave in! I have to be equal to my strength -- or else I don't deserve it! NNNN! The strain -- NNNNN! -- it's unbearable -- but -- but -- um, yeah... Actually, I can't lift this. Little help over here? Please? Bueller?
- Yep, that's me...just your friendly neighborhood Spider-God.
- The way he's looking at me. He's got to know. And he's holding it against me... Not buying any of the photos... ...what am I going to do now?
- Oh, god... ->snff<- I thought... I thought you were gone, Mary Jane. Are you real?
- Everybody in our odd little community would deny it, but we all watch each other when we cross paths, looking for weaknesses, in case that day ever comes. In case they ever have to stop me...or I ever have to stop them. But we never talk about it. Ever.
- Henh heh heh-- Hack-ack Oh! Think I just shot some webs outta my nose!
- With my spider-strength, speed, and agility nothing could've stopped me from landing any sports scholarship-- or getting on any professional team I wanted. Nothing except a sense of responsibility. And a tiny bit of pride.
- Oy. With the guilt. Fine! Wanna be in the Fantastic Four, Spidey? Sure. What? Oh. We're the Future Foundation now. Bait n' switch if you ask me. Razzin' frazzin'...
- I think this is my super villain origin.
- I don't even know how long I've been going. Fifteen, sixteen hours? Carlie is alright, thank God. I found her in her apartment with a knife, scared that every killer she ever helped put away was coming to get her. No one's heard from May, but everything's down now. She could be anywhere... But the one place she probably is, I can't seem to get to. Because no matter how I scared I am for her... ...I can't let people die.
- I can feel it, gnawing at me. The fear. It's so raw, so real... I see them all, everyone I care about, everyone I love. Carlie... dead. Mary Jane, dead because of me. Aunt May, dead. Because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't smart enough, and she's dead because of me. My fault. My responsibility. And I failed them. I failed them all. Please, God, somebody make it stop. The fear is so strong it's like I'm on fire. So powerful I can feel it.
- There is no hope. I can barely stand. I can't feel my right arm. There's blood in my eyes, my ears. He's stronger than me. I can't even hurt him. There is no hope... but luckily... I'm too big of an idiot to accept it.
- C'mon! The world's counting on you! Everyone you know and love! What about Sable?! Are you going to let her sacrifice be for nothing?! Forget the math, Parker! Forget what's possible! DO THIS! NOW!
- This is a hunt. I'm not here to fight you--- I'm here to end you!
- We're not here to build a fortune. We're here to build the future. We live in a time where heroes save the world every day. But what are they saving it for? My greatest hero was my Uncle Ben. He saved so many people's worlds, you wouldn't believe it. Helping a neighboor with their mortage. Another with his groceries. He barely had anything, but he did so much with what he had. Running a global company like this is the most power I'll ever have. And in his name, I'm gong to do it responsibily. Create jobs. Equal employment. Green technologies. A chance for all of us to work together... not to save a world, but to make a world worth saving.
- Man, I really needed that. For all my complaining and whining, it's so clear to me now... things are looking up. Not for Peter Parker. But y'know what? Forget that guy. Who needs him? 'Cause whenever I want, I can be the Amazing Spider-Man.
- It's like, I'd finally gotten everything right for once, y'know? I was pushing science forward! Helping around the world, as both Spider-Man and Peter Parker. This is what I'd been working toward my whole life! Of course I managed to blow it all up.
- Hey! I'm here. I'm helping. My life is a hot garbage fire and I am here. But you're chasing answers to a question about you and your place in the multiverse, or whatever, that might not be able to be answered on -- on our level. This is all -- it's just a reminder that we really have no real control...
- My Fault -- all my fault! If only I had stopped him when I could have! But I didn't -- and now --- Uncle Ben is dead...
- Oh my god. Cap's back.
- You're complaining about how you look? You've got a cool hood and cape...I'm wearing lime green! And I've got a star on the middle of my nose!
- Okay, the unexpected I can deal with... as long as I'm expecting it, that is...
- Nothing was going to stop it. And, like that, the Avengers were never going to be the same again. No joke.
- Lucky that is exactly how I would describe myself, he said sarcastically.
- Unless the Lizard is on Mutant Growth Hormone, this looks like something out of your rogues' gallery, Herc!
- It's been eight days since the fall of Wakanda. Eight days since we came here with our tail between our legs. And every day since. It's only gotten worse. It's gotten so that every time I hear that mystical portal start to open. My heart sinks. I haven't cracked a joke in weeks. There's just nothing funny about the end of the world.
- Surrounded by a pack of vicious velociraptors. It's like this nightmare I had once...only this time I'm not naked.
- Two minutes earlier, Silver Sable put her life on the line, with no weapons and no expectation it was going to work. It was one of the bravest things I'd ever seen. But now, it looked lime Sable was back to her old mercenary self. Until I saw something no one else votadas to see... A smile for the princesas and her new husband. It was a teeny one. Blink and it was gone... But I saw it. And that's when I knew who Silver Sable really was. Incredibly brave. One of the most dangerous fighters I've ever seen...but she only pretended to be all about the money...because sometimes she put it all on the line for love. It's why she did everything. Love of her country. Family. Friends. Love of a rare vintage of champagne. And most of all, a love of adventure--Of life.
- But maybe if I wasn't there... Maybe in this reality someone else thought they could stop the thief. And maybe they actually did it.
- But maybe if I wasn't there... Maybe in this reality someone else thought they could stop the thief. And maybe they actually did it.
- Cause, I mean... okay', I came in a little late, but... We're not this. The Avengers are not this. Our job is not to bring walking tanks to do our talking for us. Or thunder gods, or big hair, or--or whatever else. It's not to wade in with overwhelming force to protect our authority when we're in the wrong. And right now you are in the wrong, Tony--Sam. And you know it. So... So back off, guys. Or you can come through me. Because I am an Avenger. And that... That is what we are. But, uh... Obviously I'm hoping you don't come through me...
- This isn't good. Haven't seen him since the massacre. He was part of a crew of super villains that Carnage led through New York City, slaughtering as many civilians as they could. The worst part is the madness spread. Everyday people started rioting... murdering. It was mayhem.
- No. Something's still wrong. My spider-sense says we're still in danger.
- Which is why I wanted to get you started early. Understanding your powers... and the responsibility that comes with them.
- I'm going to ignore Mr. Sunshine, Ulysses. Anyway, as for what to do about the things you see... leave that to the rest of us.
- My name is Peter Parker, and I've been Spider-Man since I was fifteen years old. Any questions?
- Aleksei! Listen to me! You're wrong! I've lost people too! But that pain -- that hurt -- that means they are still there! You carry them with you! In everything you do! And with the person you are! They're a part of you forever! That means you honor them, Aleksei! By being the person they would want you to be!
- Regrown body parts. Creepy lab. The Jackal. This is all one of his stupid frickin' cloning experiments! Again!
- It's not the science. Ned Leeds. Nick Katzenberg. Captain Stacy. Gwen. You brought them all back. Without hesitation. But not Uncle Ben. And I know why. Because he'd look at you the way only Ben Parker could. And he'd tell you... you're wrong. Yes. You have the means. The power. But no responsibility.
- Y-You killed him! You finally did it... You killed my brother!
- Let's talk about your costume! Those red longjohns break me up... but I liked your old yellow duds better!
- I think this is my super villain origin.
- Mr. Negative was never born, so he is ever living! He is attached to nothing, thus one with all! Now that you Lao Fan have come to Chinatown -- I will choke the streets with your dead!!
- You're done, Shiklah. Leave before the vampires make you leave. Let us rebuild.
- This has got to be the worst alternate universe ever.
- No, you want people to love you for being the good guy. It's not the same thing.
- Is anyone else having a dream they're in a geodesic dome made out of some dude's arm after getting beat to a pulp by some creature snapping its many, many fingers?
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- And Flash Thompson! An olympian!
- I think when I went through that door I kept saying over and over in my mind... I need to go to Tahiti. I need a million dollars. I need a new girlfriend. What do I get? A Jarvis burger and a fruity drink.
- I don't even know how long I've been going. Fifteen, sixteen hours? Carlie is alright, thank God. I found her in her apartment with a knife, scared that every killer she ever helped put away was coming to get her. No one's heard from May, but everything's down now. She could be anywhere... But the one place she probably is, I can't seem to get to. Because no matter how I scared I am for her... ...I can't let people die.
- I can feel it, gnawing at me. The fear. It's so raw, so real... I see them all, everyone I care about, everyone I love. Carlie... dead. Mary Jane, dead because of me. Aunt May, dead. Because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't fast enough, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't smart enough, and she's dead because of me. My fault. My responsibility. And I failed them. I failed them all. Please, God, somebody make it stop. The fear is so strong it's like I'm on fire. So powerful I can feel it.
- There is no hope. I can barely stand. I can't feel my right arm. There's blood in my eyes, my ears. He's stronger than me. I can't even hurt him. There is no hope... but luckily... I'm too big of an idiot to accept it.
- Wow, you know you're in crazytown when Osborn's the voice of reason.
- Okay, when I said everyone was Hydra now -- I did not mean that.
- Me? I'm trying to keep it fresh, topical, make sure everyone's included -- all while a bunch of people are trying to kill me! Can you imagine?
- Don't worry. I've been in tons of situations like this. Just trust me. You do trust me, right? Guys, it's okay to talk if I ask you a-- aw, crap. Guys? Guys?
- Huh. Maybe I should've dressed up like a bat instead of a spider. Strike fear into my enemies... Nah. Dumb idea.
- Peter Parker, masquerading as your friendly neighborhood gym teacher. But that Arrow woman was right. I can't just abandon the kids. Not until I'm sure that I've thrown enough of a scare into the underworld...
- And maybe you want to think about what you would call weakness-- and others, compassion-- isn't always such a bad thing.
- And now with all that's happened... The police, the army, everybody's after me... What was the point? What was--? Dammit. >sigh<
- Look, Marko... I dunno if I'm going to be that much help to you anyway. I'm not a detective. All I know is this: There have been two Uncle Bens in my life. One showed up out of nowhere some months back, and then vanished.
- You're from the future. His future. It was the only way you could know that the other Spider-Man was from 2211. And since there's been a future Spider-Man... and future Hobgoblin... Why not a future Chameleon?
- Because Flash Thompson is my friend! And if you think you're going to get away with him, you're-- --you're-- --absolutely right, apparently.
- Like hell. I'm getting showered, changed......and then Jonah Jameson and I are going to have a long overdue...chat.
- She took a bullet intended for me, Stephen. If I'd moved just a second faster, if I'd seen -- I can't let her die like this, not when it's my fault. I can't live with that. I can't, I --- God...God...God...For God's sake, Stephen...help me...please help me.
- How did--? This... You... What are you? A ghost?
- What have you done now!? What kind of crazy trick is this? And...what? They don't have carburetors in the future, with all the smoke that thing's giving off?
- I'm Peter Parker... I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. And this is my neighborhood.
- Forget it, Robbie. It's not important. I've got enough to be happy about. 'Cause you see, I'm beginning to realize -- next to some people's problems -- my life is charmed -- a regular picnic if you know what I mean.
- Spider-Powers, I love you! Not only am I the most dashing hero on two legs - I'm easily the most versatile. Who else could save a falling girl from certain dea- Gwen? Hey kid - what's wrong? Don't you understand? I saved you - you can't be - NO! Oh, no, no, no - Don't be dead, Gwen - I don't want you to be dead!
- That was me, Otto. You can't hear me, can you? You don't even known I'm here. Doesn't matter. You don't get to kill. I won't let you. I don't know how, but I am still in the fight! I am Peter Parker. And I swear I'll find a way back!
- Batroc? Let the leaping begin! ... The thing is, you're so mock-able. I'm sorry, but you wear a mask and use your own name? That's not a secret identity, Bats. That's just an identity. With a mask.
- This is H.E.R.B.I.E., the Fantastic Four's helpful robot friend.
- Logan, I swear to God...I think I'm going to kill them. Magneto. His stupid daughter. I'm gonna kill them with my bare hands. I'm not -- I'm not going to be able to stop myself.
- If I've learned one thing, it's that you could not pay me to swing around in costume with this kind of humidity. Houston apparently shares weather with Vietnam.
- Welcome to the hero business, Fly -- and good luck!
- To coin a cliche: Face it tigress -- you just hit the jackpot!
- That's a crazy expensive way for things to end. I mean, even for Brooklyn that's gotta be expensive.
- Just drop me off at the World Trade Center.
- And we shall be called... the Fellowship of the Ring.
- Gwen? No. The real Gwen died long ago. This is nothing more than a clone... like me.
- Kaine came down here to get away from the insanity of Spider-Man's world. But then he put on a costume and fought crime anyway. He wanted all the power, and none of the responsibility. But he took it on anyway. He found a home here. He had friends here. A city that counted on him. And while he may not have liked it... turns out Kaine is every bit the hero that I am. Wherever he is... I hope my brother has found peace.
- Your word as a career criminal? That supposed to make me special?
- This isn't over, Fisk, not by a long shot.
- Everyone thinks your brother's an impossible act to follow. Between him and Captain America-- --there are some role models that always seem to be out of reach. Best the rest of us can do is keep trying.
- Actually, my friend, I should be the one thanking you. For making the choice you made. And not forcing me to make one I didn't want to.
- Two men. One in a gray Armani suit, the other in Italian leather pants and silk poet's shirt.
- Hey, everybody! LOOK! I'm SPIDER-MAN! Your friendly neighbor, Peter Parker, is SPIDER-MAN! Ya know, Parker...if everyone else in the building wasn't out having a good time, you might be getting yourself in real trouble right now!
- I... I can't stay out of this...! It goes against every instinct I've lived by since Uncle Ben's death!
- Pardon me for interrupting, but do you people always run a background check on your new teachers?
- Do you know how many rank amateur super-villains I've beat the stuffing out of today? You guys are stupider than the real Absorbing Man!
- Yeah, listen. I know you must have idiots showing up and doing this all the time, but it really is me, Jarvis. Could you hit the buzzer and let me in? I'm getting soaked out here.
- I'm sorry, Aunt May. Sorry for this stupid hobby that keeps killing people I love. Now you're gonna die just like Uncle Ben and just like Uncle Ben......it's Peter Parker's fault.
- I still can't believe you never told me we were having money problems. I mean what did you think I was going to do? Push you off a building?
- Seriously, I'm not the guy I was back in high school, you morons. First person lays a finger on me leaves the gym on a freakin' stretcher!
- John Jameson. Spider-Man's your son, Jonah. I really am truly sorry.
- That's weird. The master plan was to drop me in the ocean to drown? Not likely. These guys never work like this together. So who's rallying the troops? To be this organized? They need a boss. A general. A Kingpin.
- Once the fighting began, instinct just took over. Carnage flowing through your blood...like venom.
- And then I think I got it. As long as you have that one thing in place... the rest will take care of itself.
- Well I'll be an eight-ball's uncle! That glob just -- just spread out and became a costume -- and dissolved away the tatters of my old one in the process! Not bad! Different -- but not bad!
- Okay, hero-man... Let's see you get out of this!
- PROFESSOR WARREN! THE JACKAL IS -- PROFESSOR WARREN!
- I just dropped by to congratulate you on a perfect record! So far you've been 100 % wrong about me! I've got to hand it to you -- I'll bet it's not easy to make a fool out of yourself all the time!
- It's getting so a guy can't even put on his costume before someone starts screaming for help--
- Brother, do you have delusions of grandeur!
- In fact, I might even let that Peter Parker kid take the photos!
- No matter how small I am--no matter how hopeless everything seems--I mustn't give up! My size doesn't matter! Even my life doesn't matter! No one can win--every battle, but--no man should fall-- without a struggle!
- There she is! Man... standing next to those million dollar paintings, she still looks like the only masterpiece in the place!
- Hey Meatballs -- Yer sister plays the tuba!
- I suppose I should do something to help him, but I doubt if anything could survive that fall.
- Doc, one time I was in a jam, and a total stranger gave me his last five bucks. I figure that is particular five spot's been handed from stranger to stranger since money was invented. Each guy that gets it, when he's down and out, is obligated to pass it on to somebody else once he's on his feet again. So, I'm just passing it on, Doc.
- Y'know, Vermin -- there's something in your eyes, in your voice -- something that reminds me of everything rotten, vile and stinking inside us -- all the inner monsters men hide from themselves!
- Head's up, Stegron-- Spidey's coming through!
- Are you Heckle or Jeckle?
- Sometimes I wonder: Am I Spider-Man because I want to help people -- or because I want to hurt them? These days I seem to do more hurting than helping.
- ... They don't call me Spider-Man for nothing!
- Von Shtupf, I take it back. You're not sick. You're just crazy.
- Ta-Taa! No applause folks -- Just throw money!
- I'm nothing like the Torch! I'm prettier!
- So, as someone once said, --- Up --- Up --- and AWAY!
- Great! We're caught in the middle of a Super-Villain sandwich...
- Oh mercy me, Mister Bad Man! Is that a thweat?
- ... Even a loner like Spider-Man has heard tales of the Vision!
- Bein' a Super-Hero's no bed of roses...
- Agony, Mrs. Pym? I believe I know all about it.
- Hi-ya Cappy. How's it hangin'?
- Sandman......you're absolutely right. I did treat you like an idiot. I'm sorry.
- --'sheesh! Dig the decor! Looks like I made it in time for Neil Diamond!
- N-nice save, Subby! I give it a ten for dramatic value-- --but I'm subtracting points for your lousy sense of timing!
- I'm sorry... ...but this whole adventure was ridiculous!
- Well -- It was nice knowing all of you.
- I mean "Gun-Toting-Maniac-With-A-Skull-On-His-Chest" crazy. I mean, REALLY. You and the Punisher would really get along. Well, probably not...
- MJ's film career has taken off. Look at her! A leading lady!
- Max Modell's one of my heroes. Scientific pioneer. Founder of Horizon Labs. And all-around good guy. And this is going to sound selfish, but... seeing him tie the knot with his partner Hector... being welcomed back into his extended family, for this moment in his life is one of the best moments in mine.
- Is "May the Fish be with you" a good pun? I can't tell. I'm going to use it anyway.
- Uh... Cap? If you were about to say something like "Thank goodness, there was only one," you might want to hold that thought.
- Jeez. Mooney. Rhymes with loony.
- My aunt lives around here, by the way. Do you know what the sound of gunshots does to her property value?
- Be right back. Gotta hit the little Peter room.
- Well, there's the whole thousands of mutant-controlled energy fields inside a mystery man in a place where millions of mutants died? Sounds bad.
- We're the NEW New Avengers.
- Oh, no. No no no. That's -- that's Venom. That's Venom as me. That's -- and it's not even the good one. It's Mac Gargan... the Scorpion... Guy used to fight with a scorpion tail. You know... he used to throw his butt at you.
- My name is Peter Parker. The world hates a coward.
- Speedball notwithstanding, there's hope for the next generation yet.
- You'll never make the Yankees with a swing like that! Or even the Mets! Of course I don't think they have a uniform in your size.
- Unless... if he never had Spider-Man to focus on... maybe he got help? And he stayed true to his work instead of focusing on killing me?
- A hyper-kinetic form of energy tied into the forces of universal expansion itself. Clean, affordable, near limitless power.
- Something else Ben used to say..."With great powers comes great responsibility." I learned the truth of that one the hard way...right here. An accident at the science hall gave me my powers--but in that old warehouse, I truly learned what it means to be Spider-Man. And now it's gone. But Jonah was right, it won't be forgotten. I can never forget. This site will always be a reminder of my responsibilites...my great responsibilites. I'm trying, Uncle Ben...and I'll always keep trying. That's my promise.
- Good. Nothing's damaged... except my pride. Char-broiled by a kid. Maybe I'll prove how tough I am by slaughtering a troop of campfire girls.
- But I can't let my fear stop me. God, please don't let it stop me.
- C'mon! You're not really gonna try to stop me by waving a cape! This isn't a bullfight -- and you can't sidestep a guy with spider-speed!
- "Like I always say, 'With great power comes great indebtedness.'"
- ...this new Spider-Man, whoever it is, seems to have things pretty much under control.
- Thanks for the god lesson. I'll be leaving now! Good luck subjugating the will of all humanity.
- Take a number, pal! You know how many times I've heard that? How many times I've had enemies try to kill me...or someone around me? You have any idea how tired I get of hearing it? Of having to deal with it?
- -- nah! Been there... done that! Being Spider-Man is kinda cool!
- Wonderful! What am I going to do? What more can happen to me? Of course.
- Getting caught in a battle between two god-like beings is not how I planned on spending my day, but... ...I guess it never is!
- Hehh... I guess it's easy to laugh in the face of danger when you don't take anything too seriously.
- So, uh... This friend of mine, he's a mime, an' they just send him to jail... ...it was a wheat field outside of buffalo with a big sign saying, "Pretend you are in prison!"
- Typeface, huh? So, what does the "R" stand for? "Raving"?
- C'mon, Typeface... Uhh... You really want murder and arson on your rap sheet? You don't strike me as the type.
- Oh, sure... I can just picture it now: "Welcome to respectability, spidey. You owe us five squillion dollars in super hero back-taxes."
- Yeah, I do. Funny thing is, I feel like she's still here, you know? I realize it's just because I want her to be. All my friends keep telling me it's time to let go. But I don't want to.
- I couldn't do it, Mendel. I mean, I beat myself up over this like you wouldn't believe. I must've thought about it a thousand different ways... ...but it's just not me.
- Oh, god... ->snff<- I thought... I thought you were gone, Mary Jane. Are you real?
- "Fusion," eh? You look more like a "Larry" to me.
- Uhh...I know you better than you think, pal. You fit the mold perfectly: all your anger's driven by a series of convenient excuses --
- ...that there's a fine line between hero and psycho, I guess.
- I may be quick -- I mean, you're looking at the dude who left Billy Pinder in the dust during a second grade sack race!
- That's what I love about you, birdbrain: you think you're really nifty-- --but you're really just the bottom of the cage!
- Ooh. I love it when you talk fancy. Hey, I got one: "Cease and desist, you certifiable cephalopod!" Maybe you should've called yourself Doc Lobster.
- Wait... "Crappy super-villain": Isn't that an oxymoron?
- You're right: I can't. Not even to a stain on humanity like you.
- Burn Crisqó's old sheets. The celebrity beach house just got a new guest.
- Heh. Well, I guess in the end, life's a beach!
- No, wait... I can see what you're trying to do. But I'm not biting, Norm. You're not worth it.
- I won't have to kill you in return. I won't even have to send you in jail. Just being you -- that's life without parole.
- And all I can think is, there's no way she could've gotten that far ahead. It's not physically possible. Not unless she's a mutant.
- A million question and no one to answer them... very tantric.
- Short answer, Shocker: you're selfish, I'm not. Or at least I try not to be. Now grow up. My organs feel numb and I'm going home. That's what us heroes get to do.
- This is obnoxious. Even for me.
- Do you realize how many crimes I could have stopped while I was jerking around, putting on a show for you guys?! Putting on a show for money!
- Maybe this whole beach is a Sandman factory, churning out idealized versions of yourself. Maybe--
- I'm not perfect, Flash. I've... done things. I've been selfish. People have died because of me. But I accept that, and I own it. And maybe in all this mess I'm able to stay strong... Because I know I'm weak.
- It's funny how life turns out sometimes... Isn't it, target-top?
- Who is this?! Brock? Is that you, Venom? Threatening me again?
- That will never happen. You know I can and will fight you. Destroy you if I have to. With fire... with sound... whatever it takes, but you will never be part of my life again!
- I'm just not used to being, uh, helped by anyone... especially not by J. Jonah Jameson. It'll... take some getting used to.
- How did they block my spider-sense?!
- Mintz is the problem. We've got to take him down no matter what. If I can draw him out, I will. And if I can't, then the one person who probably knows where he is and what he's up to is the Tinkerer --
- Tinkerer. This. Ends. Now!!!
- All right, you giant pimple. I'm here for some answers. You've been outfitting criminals with phones. Phones that are untraceable and unhackable. A network for criminals.
- You saved everyone. So why are you so happy they're here now?
- I'm not Mysterio! No amount of effects can fake this level of handsome! It's really me -- you! From the future!
- I messed with time. We couldn't affect our present. So I tried to make things better for this world. I thought it was safe. I was wrong.
- This is my fight, guys. And we've wasted enough time--
- Look, I'm not -- I'm not here to start anything... I just... what's going on? You're... you're Sandman! Is this some kind of... extreme dust allergy?
- Hey. You, uh. I heard -- word on the, uh, street is... you're making -- a documentary? On me?
- The other spiders need your help with the rest of the Inheritors. I'm in no condition to lead anybody. But you are. The priority is stopping them. All of them. You can do that with the rest of the spiders. And I can handle Morlun. But we have to be smart. It works to their benefit to have us act out of emotion and fear. So instead we got to be smart and do what's going to give us the very best chance of beating them.
- Morlun. Morlun. Morlun. What is this, four times now? Four times I've beaten you? How does this keep happening? It shouldn't be. You're stronger and faster than me by a mile. I know that. But what's more important, is that you know that, too. So because you know that, you never plan anything. You just show up and assume you're going to win because of who you are and, what, some birthright? And then when it doesn't go how you thought it was gonna go, you have a little fit and think the world is conspiring against you or some nonsense. You don't think things through, because you think you don't think you have to. You think you are all that and a bag of chips. But in actuality, Morlun... ya basic.
- I can't believe I'm doing this. Fine. You have one hour, Jonah. A deal's a deal.
- I'm looking at me, older. Much older. And somehow I know that this is the end. This is my last stand.
- Hope you were watching, Uncle Ben. 'Cause I did that for you. Kept everyone safe. Kept them from being scared. And I made it fun. It doesn't matter that most of 'em wouldn't have lifted a finger for Peter Parker. That's not why you do it. You do it 'cause it's the right thing to do. Because it's what you would've done. You were more than a father to me, Ben Parker. More than a role model... You were my hero. Now it's my turn. Because from now on, I'm going to be yours! You'll see. I'm going to give it my all! We'll have fun! I'll never quit-- --and it's going to be Amazing!
- Hey, do you guys realize that the acronym for "Anti-Spider Squad" is A.S.S.? So I can call you big A.S.S.!, and you dumb A.S.S. and if your team does a tie-in with Hershey's, you can each be a candy A.S.S.!
- Yeah, business as usual. I'm just a "misunderstood guy with a good heart."
- Please. If I cost you and the tribe any hope of restoring your normal lives-- --how do I live with that?
- You down to punishing strippers now, Frank?
- And the rest of you -- be careful, okay? The world's not... it's not so fun anymore, you know? I don't want to go to any more of these.
- I learned this a long time ago. Never listen to Mysterio. Not because he tends to go on and on (which is true)... He's got illusions, the gas, but the helmet gives his speech pattern some crazy mind-bending properties.
- That-- that was one of the Watcher's eyes?! But the Watcher's seen... everything. Ahh! Millions of secrets! Things that were kept from me! Filling my head all at once! The spider! After it bit me-- --it bit someone else?! A girl? I--never knew! Who is she? Ezekiel?!
- I know that look. I had it a lot when I was your age... There's no stopping you. I want you to run because you don't have your armor. But you won't... 'cause you're a hero.
- Avengers Assemble! What? It's a better battle cry than "Geronimo!"
- You did not tell a Skrull you locked in the freezer to "chill out."
- I'm three days away from you finding me running around Times Square in nothing but my web-shooters and my mask whooping it up about power and responsibility.
- I-it's... It's... ...Mary Jane, the baby... they're... ...they're in trouble!!
- Y'know-- --it's okay to call for backup!
- Well, responsibility's something I know a little bit about... ...so let's see if this friendly neighborhood wall-crawler can't get the scoop on this Prowler impostor!
- ...I... ...yeah... ...yeah, I do... He... ...his name was Ben... ...he was my brother... ...and I miss him, David... ...but I go on. We have to go on...
- Just thinking that it's really strange sometimes, the way things work out..!
- Actually -- it's -- Spider-Man. But why be so formal..? I'll call you Akasha and you can call me --
- Hoo! Well, I guess we can all agree that she's now offically 'spooked...' which means that I don't have to worry about being so sneaky... now we can do things... Spidey style!
- It's not my Spider-Sense. It's something else... ...but what?! All I do know is that if I don't thwip up there and check it out now... ...I'm gonna be wonderin' what it was for a loooong time!
- Y'know, Doc-- --there are some things even a master of the mystic arts isn't meant to know..! But thanks for that... ...thanks a lot.
- And the funny thing is, Aunt Anna -- the entire time I was looking for it, it was right under my nose! Merry Christmas, everyone!
- Ah... Let's just say that I don't think you'll have to worry about Spider-Man from now on!
- Whaddaya mean?! MJ, Norman Osborn wants to hire the Hornet... Me!... To throw down with Spider-Man... also me!... Because he despises Peter Parker... ...who, for those of you who came in late, is, once again... me! This is like... the best!
