Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)/Quotes

Quotes by Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I'll tell you all something I've learned over the years with my friends. You can save the galaxy and take down scores. You can save millions of people by killing a few bad ones. You can do it all -- you just gotta tell yourself, and believe it when you say it -- "I'm the baddest mother @#$&#$% in the whole universe."

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I'm not packin' enough laser-power to drive that automaton back to its own territory! Time for a new strategy! Running!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Never doubt a raccoon.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

My home is a lunatic asylum? I'm beginning to understand why I've blocked out so many memories.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Another one? There's another one of me?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Blam! Murdered you.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

That's it! You can attack me, you can call me names, but no one -- NO ONE -- touches my blaster!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I have a theory! We shouldn't have come here! Ever!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Yeah, buddy! Reach inside that stupid %$@# and make him bleed out his mother %#@$ $#@&% and then @#$% his %$&#!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I know he's not exactly an Avenger or even a Great Lakes Avenger, but when you're framed for murder this far out in the galaxy you have to get creative.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Come on, Groot, let's blow this late '90s joint before he starts blasting Prodigy up in here.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

This is complete gorg $@#%!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I bet you've got a lot to say... Well... Don't worry... I'm all ears, pal.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

See... Me? I don't really care about people--I spend most of my time shooting them. But Groot... Groot likes people. Always sees the best in them. Gives 'em a shot. And even if it hurts, he always goes out of his way to help. Groot makes friends everywhere he goes... He puts himself out there... Even when he shouldn't.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

This is Knowhere, baby. Don't let this total disaster fool you, we guard it...

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I like her too. I like our new Star-Lord.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

What in the unholy #%$ϵ@ is going on here? You. You come here, pop out of a cell like some sort of stripper at a birthday of death, and lay waste to half my guards. I'm Lord Rakzoon! Who the $@#% are... you?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Hey, guys? Guys? Remember before when we didn't die? I knew if we waited long enough we'd get another chance to do it properly!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Don't worry about what I'm gonna do with this dumb planet and its dumb people. Worry about getting that camera out of my face before I boom! Murder you!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

And all the while, in the middle of all the that crazy, despite the certain death stuff, I was still looking for an angle. The out. The fluke. The miracle play. That one opportunity. That one break. The genius way we could combine our skills or exploit their weaknesses, and bust out of that death trap alive. Like I told you, I'm a tactical genius. Always looking, always looking, no matter how hopeless things seem... and there was none. We were dead. Certain death. Curtains. Good-night. Then the sun came out.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Sure I took out one of the galaxy's worst dictators alone. Convinced all these dummies that I was worse than their dummy boss. I may have even sentenced a few people to some pretty dark $%#@, but that's all a by-product of the universe's best troll ever.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Brakes on, team! No one's addressing the really important thing the big dude just said... the part about removing my brain! I am absolutely not down with that! It's my second favorite organ!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

No, you don't understand. Right now, Groot "The God" is out there figuring out how to get me out of here. Maybe if you stop being... you, then I'll consider leaving the door open on my way out.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Hey! I'm a brain in a jar now, sharing a body of a lunatic demigod with a bunch of other evicted noggins! I do what I'm told, Stella, and I did not choose this, so get off my back!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

We both know who's better at everything, and his name rhymes with Smocket Smaccoon.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

No. Hard no. Why would we go to some stupid funeral? It's always the same stupid speech. "He was a kind, caring soul, blah blah blah, such a tragic loss, blah blah, he will live on in our smiles and songs."

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Gotta be the ugliest human I've ever seen, and I hang out with Peter Quill.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Because, Symbiote-Boy, "out here" is better than Earth. You know how I know? Because half of you goobers lived on Earth and now you're out here wit' me. And I ain't no picnic. So Earth must suck.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

So which one are you? Is Cable also a girl now?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I'm trying to find a way off this planet.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

You can say it. You thought I was a raccoon who just happened to get into a bar fight.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I know I told ya to face your fears, but you're still on fire!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I'm not paying for that.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

This is your last hunt, @#$!*@!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

What really happened, Quill?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

We need to go back for Groot!

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

You're relieved, Froggy. I'll be defending myself today.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Yeah, there's always a cost. Like, you ever hear somebody say, "I came back to life, and nothing bad happened because of it"? Nobody has ever said those words.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Lemme get this straight! We cooked up two of the craziest heists that anybody ever pulled off, just so the Grandmaster could test the Collector to make sure nobody had put a whammy on him? I better get my money. And you guys better hope the Gardener wasn't the one that hurt Groot -- or you're not gonna have to be doing any guessin' about whose wastin' Cosmic Elderlies and whatnot. 'cause I'll mulch his old moldy ass.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Yeah, not that you didn't have us scared. You must have passed out after you ejected, had a weird dream or somethin'.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Ugh. This body's even worse than I thought it'd be. You're the Devil, you know that?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Groot says his new weird plant thing doesn't know where the stones are, but he knows we're not the only ones looking.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

I don't... don't know what happened. What happened to me. I lost something... I don't even know when, or what it was...

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

"Wakanda forever"? If you say so, lady.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Well, Hell. I can't exactly go save the galaxy in my current condition, can I?

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Business as usual. I think that's our motive.

--Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Conversations with Rocket Raccoon (Earth-616)

Rocket Raccoon	What have we here, huh? Killer clowns?! You bozos got me sacked from my nice job on Alpha Centauri, and you've been trying to kill me ever since!
Groot	I am Groot!
Rocket Raccoon	And he's Groot!

— Annihilators #3

Rocket Raccoon	I may just be a small, furry animal with a human heart. And my friend may be made of wood...and we may not be Annihilator-class supertypes... But we've got Star-Lord's legacy to live up to, Lylla. The legacy of the Guardians of the Galaxy!
Groot	I am Groot!
Rocket Raccoon	And I'm Rocket Raccoon, and together, we're going to save the universe! Whether it wants to be saved or not!

— Annihilators #4

Rocket Raccoon	Great job, Quill!
Starlord	How is this my fault?!
Rocket Raccoon	You woke me up this morning, so I'm blaming you.

— Avengers Assemble Vol 2 #5

Starlord	You know how you say nothing good came from Earth...
Rocket Raccoon	Except the Egg McMuffin.
Starlord	And me.
Rocket Raccoon	I know what I said, Quill.

— Avengers Assemble Vol 2 #6

Rocket Raccoon	We need a battle cry.
Peter Quill	No we don't!

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #3

Tony Stark	She looks vaguely familiar.
Rocket Raccoon	She looks vaguely dressed.

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #6

Star-Lord	Gamora, come on. Stop with all the conspiracy. No one's holding out on you. You're like, my best friend.
Rocket Raccoon	I thought I was your best friend.
Groot	I am Groot.

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #7

Rocket Raccoon	Hey, dumb things!! Blam! I just murdered you!
Abigail Brand	Is that his catch phrase?
Starlord	Yeah, I find it disturbing.
Abigail Brand	It really is. You should say something
Starlord	Hey, Rocket!! She hates your "murdered you" thing too.
Rocket Raccoon	It will grow on you.
Starlord	I don't think it will.
Rocket Raccoon	Ugh, humans!

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #8

Rocket Raccoon	Any chance you could give me back the tech you stole from me?
Tony Stark	Any chances FedEx delivers to wherever you are?
Rocket Raccoon	I don't know what that is but I assume that means you're being a gronad.

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #11.NOW

Macho Gomez	Any idea why she and the rest of this fleet want you so damn dead?
Rocket Raccoon	Sure. We had a long chat, tea and biscuits, did a little scrapbooking and planned a summer trip to the Jonkos. This was all while being plastered to the windshield of her ship deep in the middle of space. You know, a typical Tuesday.

— Rocket Raccoon Vol 2 #3

Nick Fury LMD	And what is this?
Rocket Raccoon	What does it look like?
Nick Fury LMD	It looks like I had sex with a raccoon and you're my son.
Rocket Raccoon	Yeah?
Nick Fury LMD	Yeah.
Rocket Raccoon	Yeah, that--that was a good one.

— Guardians of the Galaxy Annual Vol 2 #1

Star-Lord	You are blowing holes in the ship!
Drax	This is were we live!
Rocket Raccoon	Yeah, I know. I also live in my skin, which I don't want this thing on!

— Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 #22

Drax the Destroyer	If she wants to tell us, she'll tell us.
Rocket Raccoon	No. That's not how this works. We made a deal, we made a commitment to each other. We made a commitment to Knowhere. As a group, we decided these people need our help and we are going to help them! And somebody is not living up to their part of the bargain. And you are going to incur the wrath of Doom and then there will be no "us." Your head will be floating in space right next to the one we're living in.
Gamora	I don't think there is a "Doom." I think it's a made-up story to keep us here. To keep us oppressed.
Rocket Raccoon	What are you talking about?

— Guardians of Knowhere #1