Wade Wilson (Earth-71986)/Quotes

...You can't... can't stop me... I want you to... but you can't... all you can do... is just... just run... but I know you won't... so you're gonna die!

All right then. Bring on the bad guys.

Good thing there's no heroes left. 'Cause what I'll be doing... it ain't hero business.

Well... let's get on with it.

Somebody has big, stinky plans for the nastiest jerks in the Multiverse. The kind of plans that make the powers that be sit up and take notice. They're gathering the worst versions of heroes and villains from the worst possible timelines. And I need to stop them before they mark all the names off their want list. Only, saving someone else's universe--that's not my style. I only agreed to this little mission because it seemed like a surefire way to get myself ganked.

Whatever it takes. Right? I mean, I am trying to save the Multiverse.

You and Cletus, you had a real streak going for you, didn't you? How many innocent people did the two of you kill? I bet you kept a tally back at your love nest. But the way I see it, someone with that much blood on their hands... doesn't deserve to go on living.

You and Cletus, you had a real streak going for you, didn't you? How many innocent people did the two of you kill? I bet you kept a tally back at your love nest. But the way I see it, someone with that much blood on their hands... doesn't deserve to go on living.

You poor travisty... you failed copy...

Claw marks. This is someone else's work. I'm not the only one they're messing with, am I? Sheesh, Logan. Not you, too.

I bet having a real live super hero for a mom is the greatest! When you get older, all your friends are gonna be jealous. And all your guy friends are gonna want to hang out here all the time!

An arrow? Really? This can't be your best effort!

I heard you giggling from a mile away, Katie!

Khonshu isn't your friend. He's trying to turn you against your friends. You have to fight... to break free of his spell.

Isn't it true that you cooked a famous "devil horns" chili in the Avengers communal microwave without wiping it down again? And isn't it also true that you did unspeakable things in the Avengers Mansion restroom without so much as a courtesy flush? And isn't it also true that whenever you punch a ninja you say "Talk to The Hand" and laugh maniacally at your own lame joke?

Needless to say... most of my targets don't come along easily.

Make your jokes, Wall-Crawler! It might help! It might make what happens next a little easier! A little more painless! But I hope not.

Whatever you say, my rootin' tootin' cowgirl queen!

Uh, guys... I don't know if you know it yet, but the big hunka hunka burning love you're supposed to be protecting--he's gone to the michelin star fatburger in the sky.

You know how a bossy lady gets my rum tum tugger purring. It's one of the reasons I always wanted to join an x-team.