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The threat of Col. Gate and S'Aanta!

The man who would become Cookies was raised as a Jew by his family. When he became the superpowered, inhuman-looking being known as Cookies, he broke contact with his family, not allowing them to see him. However, Cookies lurked in the dark through the windows of his previous home, particularly during holidays, to check their wellbeing.[2] Cookies particularly got information on one of his aunts, who suffered a lingering heart condition.[3]

Cookies became a superhero and teamed up with his lunchroom buddy Milk, a female perky teenager whose cheerful behavior contrasted with Cookies' angst-ridden tough-guy attitude (even if Milk herself also had a sensitive side and her own inner conflicts).[5] Developing a great partner relationship with Milk,[3] they both became a threat to well-known villains such as Doctor Octopus, Juggernaut, Krang, Mad Dog, Mandarin, Sabretooth and particularly their personal nemesis Col. Gate, whom they defeated and jailed several times.[5]

Milk and Cookies were initially feared by the normal human beings, but soon their popularity enjoyed a boost and they even received well-liked Santa Claus when he came through the chimney.[5]

Aiming to get revenge on Milk and Cookies, Col. Gate staged several traps for Milk and Cookies for no less than fourteen days. Unfortunately, Gate instead captured Chaplain America, Prince No-More, The Pulverizer, Scaredevil, Spidey-Man and three of the Fantastical Four (Mr. Fantastical, the Inevitable Woman and The Thung) - but his targets still escaped.[5]

Gate prepared an alternative plan, robbing at "Manny's house of cake 'n' candy" and leaving behind his secret lair's address on purpose so that Milk and Cookies would receive it. Following that plan, Milk and Cookies started tracking the villain, with Cookies driving his jeep. On their way they came upon the Human Scorch of the Fantastical Four, who was looking for his three missing partners and making a guest appearance in their story. Albeit Milk and Cookies had no leads about his quest, Milk convinced the Scorch to help them recon the villain's lair.[5]

Milk and Cookies 1

Gonna punch that paragraph to the right!

When they reached the address, Cookies parked his jeep in a tow-away zone and the Scorch surrounded the area looking for captured superheroes. Cookies intended to literally break into Gate's warehouse by ravaging through a wall. Milk was aghast at the idea of his partner damaging a private property, but Cookies tricked her to look back for a moment suggesting that a celebrity was near and, when she looked front again, Cookies had already opened a hole in the wall. Milk, not the most observant of people, believed that the convenient hole had been there all the time, and Cookies did not correct her.[5]

Milk and Cookies bursted into the lair and they were received by Col. Gate. The villain released his huge robot S'Aanta. The automaton grabbed both superheroes, one with each hand. Cookies tried to release himself using sheer strength, but S'Aanta was much stronger than him. Fortunately, Milk had an idea: As the robot was similar to Santa Claus, he probably would react like Santa: If S'Aanta winked with a finger on the side of his nose, he would be launched upward. Milk asked Cookies to move S'Aanta's finger while she used her powers to make him wink. The plan was successful and S'Aanta was sent to outer space.[5]

Cookies promptly grabbed the begging Gate to beat him up. Milk empathised with Gate and appealed to Cookies' mercy, but the male hero was more vindictive than her. The partners debated about the ethics of the situation while Gate tried to make good use of his chance to escape. However, Gate's way out was stopped by the Human Scorch, who had released and joined the other heroes.[5]

Milk and Cookies then left the heroes behind, not only because of the nature of their vigilante activities, but also because Cookies wanted to recover his car before getting a citation or worse. Chaplain America, Spidey-Man and the Thung praised Milk and Cookies' work that day.[5]

The threat of the dinosaur!

Milk and Cookies 3

Milk and Cookies' back!

Milk and Cookies then visited the town of Riverdull, USA, where they confronted a Tyrannosaurus rex berserk throuhg the streets. During the fight, the dinosaur slammed Milk, launching her through the window of a nearby café. Aghast at this, Cookies lost his remaining temper and shot a burst of blasts from his newtons gun to the dinosaur. Unfortunately, the lizard's skin protected it from serious damage. Soon, the beast had hurled Cookies to.[3]

But Cookies did not surrender after this: Instead, he recover and demanded a match against the creature. Specifically, a chess match. The dinosaur agreed and the pair confronted on a board laying on the street floor. Cookies prevailed in the game, but the dinosaur asked him for a rematch. Only then, Milk, who had been having her own moral quest in the cafe, joined her partner; during her ordeal, she had considered going to help Cookies, but she eventually decided that her friend was hardy enough to take care of the monstruosity — and she was right![3]

The hero pair's popularity was raising at the time: They got a new swimsuit pin-up[6] and T-shirts with Cookies' image were seen among geeky fans,[7] However, even being beloved, Cookies refrained himself from really visiting his relatives again.[2]

During Channukah, Cookies wanted to see his brother from afar and asks Scaredevil for directions. Only after reaching the suburbs solo and seeing a happy family from afar did Cookies understand that he was not stalking his family's home, but some other people's. He left unsatisfied, but a shout from one of the suburbs' houses attracted Cookies' attention. Running to help, Cookies smashed the outer wall of the house, giving a new concern to the horrified family living there.[2]

The citizens were horrified because all of their Channukah items had disappeared. Cookies identified himself as a Jewish superhero and offered to help. He was quickly joined by Milk, who was investigating a conveniently-placed hole in the house's outer wall. She found a newspaper mentioning a Channukah exhibit at the Bill Fingerstein Memorial Museum and Cookies prompted her to go there, but she insisted in reading the paper's comic strip first.[2]

Both superheroes entered the museum at night and, albeit they were on guard, they were knocked down from behind and tied to giant candles. Milk woke up before Cookies did, and only then they were joined by the villain, anxious to give his speech: He was Myron, a boy who had received socks for Channuka instead of the expensive toys he had wanted. Cookies movingly talked Myron about the Channukah tradition, but Myron was still angry after that. However, Milk had made use of the exposition time to burn the ropes tying her and, seeing her free, Cookies broke his own ropes without effort. They intended to thrash Myron.[2]

Myron's father entered the secret lair then, believing that his son was simply playing with friends. The man gifted one expensive toy, the Sockmaster 2000, to his son and revealed that he had believed Myron to be a sock enthusiast. Myron then admitted that Cookies was right and renounced to his evil ways to become an accountant. Cookies requisitioned the toy and decided to sew some socks with it and give those to Milk for Christmas.[2]

The threat of the Infinity Wart!

Milk and Cookies from WT15

We're having pin-ups!

With their frequent appearances in What The--?!, Milk and Cookies became even more trendy and they generated merchandising, including an action figures of Cookies and, at last, their own comic-book series. The first issue, with a hologram recursive cover, was a cross-over story with the Infinity Wart Saga.[1] In the previous issue of that narrative, the supervillain Negative Forbush-Man seized the wish-fulfilling Infinity Wart from its original owner Irving Forbush, the loser known as Forbush Man. Negative Forbush-Man had the intent of using the Wart to rule all of reality.[8]

Milk and Cookies knew nothing of all that: They were simply enjoying a friendly walk, an ice cream and the decision ethic angst applied to the choice of flavors. Cookies was bumped into by Irving Forbush's Aunt Mayhem, who dropped her bags. The unladylike lady rudely approached the superhero pair for a quest: She explained that her nephew had disappeared eight pages before, taking her best pot with him, and she wanted superheroes to find it and bring it back.[1]

Before the heroes could take a decision, Negative Forbush-Man Man, black as tar and high as a building, appeared in the street. Initially Milk and Cookies considered that the monster could have been Irving, but Cookies noticed his pompous words in unusually-fonted and -inked balloons and decided that those were signs of Negative Forbush-Man being a villain. Quickly, Cookies rose to the fray… and was unceremoniously stopped midway by Negative Forbush-Man's nearly-limitless power.[1]

Negative Forbush-Man decided to create evil dopplegangers of Milk and Cookies, using the darker side of both characters. The process was harmless for Cookies and resulted in the appearance of Bread and Water, who embodied the punishment bestowed to the wicked by the same society that rewarded the virtuous children with milk and cookies. The newcomers chose opponents and started the combat.[1]

Water was similar to Cookies to the point of not only using the same lines, but also discussing about that. However, during their unfriendly debate, Water soaked up Cookies' fists. This reduced Cookies' practical strength, or at least his punching power, and led to Water getting the upper hand on him. meanwhile, Bread was also prevailing against Milk.[1]

Cookies regrouped with his partner and prompted her to act coordinately and ramming their enemies, even if Milk was suggesting a less violent approach. Cookies' plan succeeded, much to Negative Forbush-Man's chagrin.[1]

Negative Forbush-Man reduced his size and personally attacked Milk and Cookies, first by using ranged stinging trading cards and alternate covers, and then burying them under the combined weight of all the Marble heroes including Aunt-Man, Beastie, Bulk, Spidey-Man and the Thung. Milk provided a escape route through the panel's borders, using Cookies' strength to break those. This allowed them to reach an exterior panel, again to Negative Forbush-Man's annoyance.[1]

Cookies cracked, snapped and popped his knuckles, getting ready to punch Negative Forbush-Man. Only then Milk understood that Negative Forbush-Man had been collapsing time and space:[1] He had caused their native Humorverse to merge with the Aniverse, inhabited by furry humanoids, and quickly took the chance to escape. Using a hidden camera, Negative Forbush-Man monitored Milk and Cookies' activities from his secret lair, where he had Irving Forbush prisoner.[9]

Milk and Cookies' fight had damaged the street around them, and the villains had either left or been destroyed. Thus, when local Aniverse hero Spider-Ham came to the damaged area,[1] he believed that Milk and Cookies, the only superheroes in the area, were villains. Spider-Ham attacked Milk and Cookies, but they refused to fight another hero and tried to convince him of their worth. Spider-Ham finally decided that no-one evil would use a name like "Milk and Cookies", and agreed to hear their story.[9]

Spider-Ham discovered that Milk and Cookies have fought evil versions of themselves. Ironically, Negative Forbush-Man had sent Spider-Ham's evil version Pork Grind against them, to destroy them all. Pork Grind showed up strangled Cookies and throw him away. Grind then defeated Milk quickly.[9]

Spider-Ham interceded and demanded the heroes to fight a toon in toon style. Grind comically thrashed Spider-Ham up while Milk and Cookies watched stunned; Spider-Ham hoped that they would understand and then emulate the style. Unfortunately, Cookies was a bad student who hoped to borrow Milk's notes. As such, when Grind had finished with Spider-Ham and was relieved Milk and Cookies, they were unable to defeat Grind. Grind broke Cookies in pieces and spilled Milk.[9]

Spider-Ham then artificially increased his power using a McGuffin and trounced Grip quickly in a fight that impressed Milk and Cookies (Cookies was specially awed by the snout-pulling movement). The three heroes then gathered and tried to look for leads that would take them to the villain behind all those attack. A fourth superhero joined them: Wolverina. She identify Negative Forbush-Man's spy cam and destroyed it before introducing herself to the others. Wolverina knew about Negative Forbush-Man[9] and even had a map to his secret lair,[10] so she confidently offered to lead the team there[9] and they agreed.[10]

Wolverina showed the team a way through the sewers, but Spider-Ham believed that the path was being too easy. Agreeing with him, Wolverina staged a two-forked plan: Spider-Ham would hide in the vent ducts while Wolverina, Milk and Cookies entered the lair more openly, albeit in ceremonial lancer disguises. Spider-Ham would wait for Cookies to signal him before joining the fray as their reinforcement.[10]

Negative Forbush-Man had detected the trio using his cosmic awareness and he was waiting for them. Naively, Milk was blurting about Spider-Ham's secret fork but Wolverina and Cookies punched her in time to make her shut up. Wolverina then tried to distract Negative Forbush-Man's attention with conversation, and Cookies signed Spider-Ham as scheduled. Only then Wolverina and Cookies ripped their disguises and attacked Negative Forbush-Man, with Milk joining them one panel later, shooting milk to the villain. Meanwhile, Spider-Ham stealthly released Irving Forbush.[10]

Negative Forbush-Man stunned Milk and Cookies with a burst of bolts but, before he could finish them, Spider-Ham tangled Negative Forbush-Man's feet with his web and gave Irving Forbush a chance against his twin. Of course, Negative Forbush-Man defeated Irving and, raising his hand, prepared his killing blow - but Wolverina was still there and, using here adam-antium nails, she lanced the Infinity Wart away! The villain sparkled in a chain reaction that would lead to his utter annihilation with a bang.[10]

By then, Milk and Cookies had recovered and they joined the other heroes and Irving. Spider-Ham built a web shield to protect them, and they could witness the explosion that took Negative Forbush-Man away. Milk and Cookies believed the villain to be dead, but Wolverina was cautious with Jim Starlin's characters' spoofs. Even then, they only found a smoking crater were Negative Forbush-Man had been. Irving Forbush suggested that they form a permanent team, but no-one of the four heroes wanted to.[10]

The th… Oh, alrite: Facing Galacticus. Happy now?

Some time later, the giant glutton of globes Galacticus threatened to eat the planet Earth. Cookies donned his space suit and joined Milk in the Earth's orbit, determined to stop him. The heroes planned to use their food-related power to satiate Galacticus' hunger before he could eat their homeworld, but they quickly found that their energies were not enough by far.[11]

Milk started an inner conflict, but Cookies tried a more action-oriented approach: He directly threatened Galacticus with a loudspeaker. Cookies finally got Galacticus attention: With a single finger, the colossus sent Cookies far from their battlefield. Cookies did her best to recover and re-join the fight.[11]

Meanwhile, Milk made good use of the chance Cookies had given to her: She convinced Galacticus that eating Earth would be unhealthy for him. To do so, she red him the ingredients of the highly-polluted planet. Galacticus then left, looking for a planet inhabited by broccoli aliens. Cookies returned after this and congratulated his partner for her victory against Galacticus![11]

Powers

Besides his extraordinary strength, Cookies is also superhumanly tough, withstanding an amount of physical punishment than common people would be unable to tolerate.[1] If his cookie-like body is damaged or broken, he can regenerate it pronto.[9]

Abilities

Cookies is a physical fighter who bases his combat strategy in direct punches.[3] He is also a good surfer[6] and driver (albeit sometimes he parks in tow-away areas).[5]

A rough person, Cookies claims to be moved toward revenge. Sometimes, he even wants to thrash his partner Milk, who is cheeerful and bubbly,[5] but he really worries about his partner, soulmate and lunchroom buddy[3] - even if he sometimes uses his guile to trick her when doing acts she would disapprove. That does not make him any less grittier: Cookies is a trained hard guy, having practiced his contempt monosyllables for at least seven weeks.[5] Like many tough heroes, Cookies writes a war journal to describe his existential angst.[1]

A Jew by religion and superhero by trade, Cookies has deep knowledge of Judaism and of other superhuman beings including the gargantuan Galacticus[2] and the disregardable Irving Forbush.[1] Cookies knows that he is a comic-book character and can even see the captions;[3][5] using this knowledge, Cookies can recognize unusual balloon borders and stilted speech patterns as features of a villain.[1]

Strength level

Cookies has superhuman strength[5] that allows him to break common ropes even if tied with them,[2] and to break common outer walls of residential buildings to create an ad-hoc door.[2][5] His fortitude is limited and he was unable to break the grip of the evil robot S'Aanta by himself.[5]

Weaknesses

His eyes are not protected by his robust skin and suffered when pierced by Wolverina's hair.[10] Cookies cannot survive in an airless vacuum either,[11] and suffers from nausea in holographic, recursive covers. More importantly, Cookies is vulnerable to water: When soaked, he loses his strength.[1]


Equipment

Although he commonly walks in shorts,[2][3][5][7][1][4] Cookies has several sets of clothing, including some beach bermudas,[6] a hat and trenchoat to walk unnoticed,[1] and, for out-of-Earth missions, an astronaut suit with the caption "tuppavare" and a semi-transparent bag as a helmt.[11]

He sometimes carried a loudspekar borrowed from the Avengers Cheerleading Squad.[11]

During one of his missions, Cookies confiscated the "Sockmaster 2000", a tool to manufacture socks.[2]

Transportation

Cookies drives the "Lorna Doone bugey", a jeep with bucket seats and pretzel steering.[5] He can also surf on a cookie when Milk provides him with milky waves.[6] If everything else fails, Cookies sometimes resorts to public transportation systems.[2]

Weapons

Cookies has a newtons gun that shoots bursts of bullets,[3] or sometimes of food.[11] The weapon must be reloaded, but Cookies has loads of cookie-like clips in his bandoleers.[3]

Comic-book writer Sholly Fisch recruited artist Rurik Tyler to draw a splash-page one-time gag depicting new characters Milk and Cookies for What The--?!. The idea was supposed to mock superhero pairs based on coordinated idioms like Cloak and Dagger.[12] It was published in What The--?! #7.[4] Tyler, interested in drawing several stories of these characters, approached What The--?! editor Terry Fitzpatrick and convinced him to authorise the point. Fitzpatrick suggested to contact Fisch as the writer, to Fisch's personal surprise (Fisch had even added the caption "Coming never" to his original joke to specify that he had foreseen null interest in the idea). Fisch and Tyler then wrote several two- and six-page stories of the characters.[12]

Cookies mostly appeared in a tandem with Milk, but he also had his solo scene in You know you've been reading too many comic books when… in What The--?! #15.[7]

The appearace of Milk and Cookies in What The--?! #26 is titled "It's our third story so we have to face--Galacticus". However, it's at least Milk and Cookies' fifth story (counting their three appearances in The Infinity Wart Saga as one), and the pair's tenth appearance. The adventure isn't the third story in that issue either.[11]

Discover and Discuss

Footnotes

  1. 1.00 1.01 1.02 1.03 1.04 1.05 1.06 1.07 1.08 1.09 1.10 1.11 1.12 1.13 1.14 1.15 1.16 Lo, There Shall Come A Forbush - First senses-shattering issue!! Milk and Cookies in What The--?! 20
  2. 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 2.11 2.12 2.13 The Grinch who swiped Chanuka in What The--?! #16
  3. 3.00 3.01 3.02 3.03 3.04 3.05 3.06 3.07 3.08 3.09 3.10 Milk and Cookies in Jurassic Classic in What The--?! #14
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 Milk and Cookies pin-up in What The--?! #7
  5. 5.00 5.01 5.02 5.03 5.04 5.05 5.06 5.07 5.08 5.09 5.10 5.11 5.12 5.13 5.14 5.15 5.16 5.17 To Save You, Why Must I Floss? in What The--?! #10
  6. 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 Swimsuit section: in What The--?! #15
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 You know you've been reading too many comic books when… in What The--?! #15
  8. The Irresponsible Forbush Man (The Infinity Wart Saga Part 1) in What The--?! #20
  9. 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 9.5 9.6 Spider-Ham" in "Pork for Dinner, Milk and Cookies for Dessert! in What The--?! #20
  10. 10.0 10.1 10.2 10.3 10.4 10.5 10.6 Leadress of the Pack! in What The--?! #20
  11. 11.0 11.1 11.2 11.3 11.4 11.5 11.6 11.7 It's our third story so we have to face--Galacticus in What The--?! #26
  12. 12.0 12.1 www.marvunapp.com/Appendix3/milkcookieswt.htm



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