Appearing in 1st story
- Power Pack
- Obnoxio the Clown
- Killer Thrill
- Snarks (Death)
- Black Cat (Felicia Hardy)
- Birthday party attendees
- Puck (Eugene Judd) (Mentioned)
- Howard the Duck (Mentioned)
- Spider-Man (Peter Parker) (Mentioned)
Races and Species:
- Hell (Mentioned)
- Deadpool's Black Suit
- Laser pistols
- Power Pack Uniforms
- Gravity Inverter
- Vacuum Cannon
- Super Snark's suit (Only appearance; destruction)
- Obnoxio's urine spray-bottle
- Killer Thrill's spaceship
- Zn'rx spaceship (Only appearance; destruction)
Synopsis for 1st story
Perching on one of the Chrysler Building's gargoyles, Deadpool swings off into the night, unaware that he is being watched by the Black Cat - who mistakes him for Spider-Man, and by Killer Thrill's bounty hunting team. Killer Thrill gleefully remarks she was right in predicting the klyntar would try to play at being a superhero. Guzz asks if they should attack, but Killer Thrill tells him to wait, saying that the klyntar's price will go up if it proves itself a genuine hero. Coldwar alerts Killer Thrill to the arrival of other aliens in the area, but she disregards him, saying that if the interlopers interfere with their mission they'll "murderize" them.
At a popular pizza parlor, the Power Pack is attending the birthday party of Francine, one of their friends. When Francine's mother announces the arrival of a very special guest, Jack Power snidely predicts that it's going to be a clown, but Alex tells him to knock it off. The "very special guest" steps out from behind the curtain, revealing himself to be Obnoxio, a grotesque and vulgar clown. The children are disgusted by his crude antics, and when Obnoxio casually attempts to steal birthday money from the cards to pay his alimony the Power Pack prepares to attack him. Before they can do so, a chunk of the ceiling collapses to reveal a spaceship. Jack recognizes it as belonging to the Snarks, a species of reptilian aliens with grasshopper-like hind legs. The Snarks warp into the party intending to capture the Power Pack, who put up a decent fight - ineffectually aided by Obnoxio. The Snarks produce "special ordinance" that neutralizes the Power Pack's powers, but before they can abduct the children Deadpool arrives through the hole in the roof, complaining about never getting invited to birthday parties. Jack mistakes him for Spider-Man, but Deadpool remarks that luckily for them he's not Spider-Man, noting that for some reason the very mention of the wall-crawler's name angers him. Deadpool trounces the Snarks, who beam down the Super Snark, a bulky Snark with mechanized arms and legs. When Obnoxio distracts the Super Snark by squirting him in the face with a spray-bottle of urine, Deadpool recognizes him as the host of an old children's TV show who had suffered a mental breakdown.
Lampooning Spider-Man's catchphrase, Deadpool and the Power Pack overwhelm the Snarks, who return to their ship. When Jack laments that they'll return eventually, Deadpool ponders how best to prevent that in a heroic fashion. In their ship, the Snarks bicker amongst themselves over who will report their failure to capture the Power Pack to Queen Maraud. Just as they realize one of their enemies had been wearing a Klyntar, Deadpool lands on their viewport sporting a fanged maw, long tongue, and claws. Quipping that frog legs are on the menu, Deadpool smashes through the view screen with a flurry of tendrils and devours them, causing their ship to crash-land in the East River.
At the pizza parlor, Julie remarks that they've hopefully bought a brief reprieve from alien attacks, while Katherine prepares to blast Obnoxio, calling him a bad clown. Deadpool returns, and Katherine hugs him, saying she thought he was going to leave before she could thank him, and then recoils in disgust, saying he smells like the East River. Obnoxio also hugs Deadpool, shamelessly trying to pick his pocket in the process and accidentally goosing him. Julie asks what happened to the Snarks, and Deadpool belches and awkwardly states they teleported away before the crash. As he swings away, Obnoxio asks the Power Pack if they need a clown mascot, causing them to glare at him.
As he swings away, Deadpool mockingly ponders Spider-Man's status quo of thankless heroics and needing to pay the bills, realizing he's being followed as Black Cat lands behind him, quipping that she's just hit the jackpot.
During 1984’s SECRET WARS, Deadpool was introduced to an alien symbiote who went on to become Spider-Man’s black costume and, eventually, Venom. OK, OK, maybe that really happened in DEADPOOL’S SECRET SECRET WARS. Point is, did you know that after Spider-Man rejected the costume… it went slinking back to Deadpool on the rebound? And they went on adventures together? You didn’t? Well, you will, now, thanks to this series by Cullen Bunn (The DEADPOOL KILLOGY) & Salva Espin (DEADPOOL & THE MERCS FOR MONEY)!
- The cover is an homage to Amazing Spider-Man #252, the first published appearance of the Venom symbiote.
- Deadpool's quip about Howard the Duck getting invited to pizza parlor birthday parties by moonlighting as an animatronic is possibly a reference to the Five Nights at Freddy's series of games.
- One of the graffiti read El Barto, an alias of The Simpsons' Bart Simpson.