Appearing in "Don't Drink the Water"
- Dai Thomas
- Alistaire Stuart
- Excalibur (First appearance)
- W.H.O. (Earth-99476) (First appearance)
- Fantastic Five (First appearance)
- Ka-Zar (First appearance)
- Zabu (First appearance)
- High Evolutionary (First appearance)
- 🢐 Wilbur Griswald (Earth-616)
- 🢐 Martha Griswald (Earth-616)
- 🢐 Calvin Griswald (Earth-616)
- 🢐 Susie Griswald (Earth-616)
- 🢐 Color Sergeant Vaughn (Earth-616)
- 🢐 Wilbur Griswald (Earth-99476)
- 🢐 Martha Griswald (Earth-99476)
- 🢐 Calvin Griswald (Earth-99476)
- 🢐 Susie Griswald (Earth-99476)
- 🢐 Color Sergeant Vaughn (Earth-99476)
- Hawd-Boiled Henwy (Vision)
- Numbers (Photo)
- Ferro² (Photo)
- Sword Ship
Synopsis for "Don't Drink the Water"
In the W.H.O. Base at the Tower of London, Brigadier Stuart shows Excalibur a recording, of a family and a Beefeater who disappeared some months ago. As the lights turn on, it is revealed that this is not Earth-616. It is Earth-99476, a world where Reptiles continue to be dominant. Alysaur Stuart tells Excalibur that the humans have been kidnapped and taken to the Savage Land by the High Evolutionary. Brigadier Alysdon Stuart introduces Dr. Karl Lykos, the W.H.O. expert on the Savage Land. He begins to describe it, before suffering a panic attack. Alysdon Stuart goes on to say that the Fantastic Five have disappeared in the savage land, and also need help. Excalibur set about preparing for their journey.
In Brighton, the reptile version of the family and the beefeater are still on holiday. They have all fallen ill with some kind of sickness, caused by pollution that they aren’t used to but Wilbur, the father, has got the worst of the lot. As his wife argues with him over his choice of a European holiday over America, his voice cuts out, being replaced by a low roar that grows in sound. Suddenly, his whole body begins to change, growing larger, teeth becoming fiercer…
Back on Earth-99476, Excalibur’s ship approaches the Savage Land. Their world is free from pollution, except for this city. As they clear the smog bank, missiles appear before them, giving them just enough time to bail out before the ship is destroyed. As they land safely, they are set upon by a group of savages, who Kitty recognises as humans. Before they can attack, they are scared of by a miaow. The cat, Zabu, slinks back to its master, who Britainicus Rex recognises as Ka-Zar, former Lord of the Savage Land. Forced to retire due to medical advice, he points out the High Evolutionary’s tower and then disappears into the night. In Brighton, a group of dinosaurs tower over humans who flee in terror. Further down the road, Dai Thomas and the police redirect the fleeing public away from danger. They believe that Gatecrasher, who still resides in Brighton pier, is responsible. But in the pier itself, Gatecrasher sits sadly, haunted by the ghost of Hard-Boiled Henry, who demands she finish her revenge on Excalibur. Dai tries calling Excalibur, but his repeated phonecalls go unanswered, as Excalibur sleep deeply after defeating Necrom.
At the High Evolutionary’s tower, Excalibur enter through the landing bay, where they are attacked by the Fantastic Five. As Arachnosaur wraps Alysaur in webs, they realise they are under some kind of mind control. Shadowcompsognathus phases through Invisiguanadon’s force field, and knocks her out, while Britannicus Rex knocks out the Thing. As Nightstrutter teleports around the bay, Saur Fantastic overstretches himself and gets stuck. As Megon causes Dinotorch to blow up a water tank, Shadowcompsognathus phases Arachnosaur’s web spinners, which stick him to the floor. As soon as they have defeated the Fantastic Five, a wall rises, revealing the High Evolutionary, who intends to stabilise the humans of the world with the DNA of those from Earth-616, and then conquer the earth. But Dr. Lykos shouts him down, and then pulls wires out of his machine until it explodes. As the smoke clears, Excalibur find Lykos is dead, and the High Evolutionary has disappeared. His humans have returned to their original forms without the machine, to small mammals called Triconodons. As they rescue the humans, Saur Fantastic and the rest of the fantastic five, free from their mind control, devise a way to build a portal to Earth-616 with parts of the machine.
On Earth-616, Dai continues to try and contact Excalibur. Suddenly, in a burst of light, Excalibur of Earth-99476 and the Fantastic Five appear, along with the missing humans. They look in horror at their fellow reptiles, devolved back to their primitive forms. They swing into action, and eventually manage to guide their people towards the portal, which returns them home. As the portal disappears, Dai shakes his head in disbelief, and goes to get a stiff drink.
At Braddock Manor, Earth-616’s Excalibur have finally woken up, and find dinosaurs on the news. At first, they think it’s a hoax, but after multiple messages from Dai, they realise just what they’ve missed. Then, they listen to one final message. Jean Grey tells them that Professor X is on the way to try and help Rachel…
- The cover is an homage to Excalibur Vol 1 1.