You know I once punched Galactus, right?
Threats will get you nowhere, Mr. Grimm.
Yeah, that's what he said, too.
Appearing in "Many Annoying Things, None of Them French"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
- Les Heroes de Paris (First appearance)
- Adamantine (First appearance)
- Comte de Nuit ⏵ (First appearance)
- Anaïs ⏵ (First appearance)
- La Lumiére Bleue (First appearance)
- Le Cowboy (First appearance)
- Detective Fantôme (First appearance)
- Le Vent (First appearance)
- Docteur Q (First appearance)
Antagonists:
- L'Empereur du Monde Souterrain (First appearance)
Other Characters:
- John Clark, Internal Revenue Service agent
- David Rose, Immigration agent
- Third unnamed agent (possibly powered)
- Louise, René's girlfriend
- Sanjeed, taxi driver
- Rasheed, Sanjeed's brother (Mentioned)
- Galactus (Mentioned)
Locations:
- New York City
- Airport
- France
- Paris
- Le Rose Et La Plume
- Paris
Items:
Vehicles:
Synopsis for "Many Annoying Things, None of Them French"
In the middle of the super-hero civil war, the Thing has decided to leave the United States until the situation has sorted itself out. Taking a taxi to the airport, Ben is annoyed by his driver droning on and on to his brother on his cell phone. Flicking a button with enough force to cause the cell phone to explode in the driver's hand, the Thing covers it up by suggesting that the phone had a faulty battery. The driver is unphased by this and pulls out his spare cell phone so he can resume his call, much to Ben's chagrin.
When the Thing arrives at the airport, he is confronted by officials from US Immigration, the IRS, and third agent who is there "unofficially" in case there is any kind of trouble. They threaten to put him on a no-fly list and tell him his assets have been frozen, but still allow him to leave for the Paris. After getting through security and downgrading his flight, the Thing eventually ends up in Paris. When he arrives, the Thing begins looking for a place to eat. A street vendor recommends that he try a restaurant called Le Rose et La Plume, and the Thing takes him up on the offer. However, no sooner has he sat down for his meal does a trap door spring taking Ben beneath the restaurant. This upsets the Thing upset at first until the street vendor appears and reveals himself as the French super-hero known as Adamantine. He then introduces the Thing to Les Heroes De Paris: Comte de Nuit, Anais, La Lumiere Bleue, Le Cowboy, Detective Fantom, Le Vent, and Docteur Q. They have come to ask the Thing for his help.
Sitting down and hearing them out, the Thing learns that they aren't looking for help shutting down a government run conspiracy to arrest super-heroes, but to stop the threat of a super-villain called L'Empereur du Monde Souterrain. Such a simple request brings a tear to the Thing's eye, and after an emotional outburst about the civil war happening back home, Ben gladyl agrees to help them out. While the heroes battle it out with L'Emperuer's rock creatures, the Thing trades barbs with Detective Fantom. Eventually they manage to get to L'Empereur, and the Thing demands to know why he is threatening to destroy Paris. L'Emperuer goes on a lengthy monologue about his pain and suffering and the Thing deduces that their foe was rejected by a woman. With the reason for the attack revealed, the Thing easily trashes L'Emperuer's weapon and Les Heroes join him in crawling back up to the surface. There L'Emperuer is met by his spurred lover who has become impressed that he was willing to destroy the city in the name of love.
The Thing is surprised by this situation but finds this change to simpler times very refreshing. When Les Heroes suggest they go get some dinner, the Thing remarks that this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Trivia
- This entire issue is a commentary on how much simpler comic books were during the silver age, particularly those published by DC Comics. As such Les Heroes Du Paris are parodies of well known DC Comics characters. Adamantine is based off Superman, Comte du Noit is based off Batman, Anasi is based on Catwoman, Le Lumiere Bleue is a parody of Green Lantern, Le Cowboy a spoof of the Vigilante, Detective Fantome based on Phantom Stranger, Le Vent is obviously based on the Flash, while Docteur Q is based on Lex Luthor.
