- Nothing will stop me from taking in the Gutter Gang. I'm an unstoppable force, an immovable object, a juggernaut of justice… a major safety hazard. I'm a—— Hey! What do you think you're doing?! I'm narrating this story!
- -- Pulverizer
Origin of the Pulverizer
Francis "Frank" Casket was an American boy. As a child, Francis Casket already used a version of his Pulverizer costume to go to class, and was known to surreptitiously run lots of weapons in class (particularly biology and P.E.), hiding them in his lunch box. At one point, Vance Asterix of the Guardians of the Crosswalk caught him and, with the prerogative of the Comics Code Authority, demanded Casket to reveal each and every of his weapons -which included the Infinity Mitten and Chaplain America's Shield. Casket's excuses (using these for a book report and for show and tell) could not convince Asterix. The scolding was interrupted due to a bigger menace, Kid Galacticus -whom Casket did not know but considered not particularly threating-, attracting the Guardians' attention. As a child, he was also known to throw huge cork projectiles with a bazooka whenever any adult spoiled his sand castles.
Later becoming an veterinarian, worked in Vietnam healing tigers, vipers and waterbuffalos, but he found that cute little dogs, which he liked, were scarce in that country. Casket returned to the United States and got a home in New York City, a bank account and a cute little dog he called Scruffy. Casket cared for Scruffy, got him used to a midnight snack and took him regularly for a walk in Central Park… until the fateful day in the 1980s where they met Bulldog there! Bulldog was a gangster who hated cute things, but Scruffy naïvely crawled toward his open arms. Bulldog heard the dog's name and, in a fit of anger, he kicked up the dog—meaning he kicked the dog upwards. Scruffy ascended until he reached the Earth's orbit. Casket, even more naïvely, waited in place for his pet to fall down, for several days and nights in a row, rain or snow, even throwing a stick for Scruffy to fetch. Casket finally realized that, due to Bulldog's evil deeds, Scruffy was gone for good, and this was a revelation to him.
Casket believed that criminals were responsible for all the crime in the world, thus crime would stop if he could kill all the criminals; in his mind this was a logical reasoning that everybody should see. However, Casket thought that he was not ready to start his one-man war against crime with only his Vietnam vet background. He first bought some personal and not-so-personal weapons, along with restricted fruits, at Mom & Pop Store. He also got the Sidney Mellonhead Method to mold his muscles, bodybuilding one arm with the first lesson and perfecting his fitness later. Lastly, he finished his training by perfecting his alliteration skills.
Having reached the peak of physical perfection, Casket focused on deciding a disguise. Watching his chimney at home, he pondered on how criminals were superstitious cowards, thus Casket should use a uniform to scare them. Some-one threw a brick through Casket's open window and hit him on the head. Casket was taken to the hospital, where he woke up thinking about the name Brickman. He then saw the X-Ray image of his skull that the doctors were watching (They were thinking about amputating it), and Casket suddenly sit up shouting about how he'd sew a skull symbol in his uniform. The doctors thought more about dressing him with a straightjacket, but Casket discarded the idea because it would have too many buckles. Casket then prepared his first bright-colored costume, with the letters S-K-U-L-L in the chest, but the criminals reacted with laughter. Casket failed in his following three designs (by Christian Noir, Bill Blasst and Giorgio Armageddon). He finally dressed in a protective uniform similar to the one used by actress Kim Bassinger in the movie "Punisher"—only, she used a whip as her weapon while Casket had turned to firearms.
Casket, now the Pulverizer, hit the streets looking for Bulldog. He left a literal trail of at least thirteen corpses trying to find Bulldog's hideout. Then, the Pulverizer phoned information and discovered where Bulldog's mansion was. The Pulverizer went there, but he had lost any possible surprise: Bulldog's thugs were waiting for him, arms ready. The Pulverizer broke the outer wall and squinted to the thugs for intimidation, and also because he had heard they wouldn't fire him until they could see the white part of the Pulverizer's eyes. Knowing that the skull in his chest was extra-armored, Casket prompted them to shoot at that area, but the criminals were bad shots and instead hit the Pulverizer in other areas. The Pulverizer retreated to go to the doctor, and was charged so much that he decided to go after the medicine professionals once the criminals were over.
This second time, the Pulverizer sneaked into Bulldog's mansion, avoiding the guards. The Pulverizer found Bulldog with his pet dog, in front of the chimney and pondering about how the policemen were superstitious. Then, the Pulverizer attacked: He kicked Bulldog's dog upward, breaking the roof and sending him to orbit. Thus, the Pulverizer avenged Scruffy, and his vigilante career had officially started.
Joining the Marble Universe (sometimes known as Marbel Universe), the Pulverizer was hired by three scientists, Prof. Emeritus, Doctor Corndoggeral and Miss Behines, to shoot at their test subject Loganberry, thus testing its regenerative skills. The Pulverizer agreed and made holes in Loganberry by shooting repeatedly at him with several weapons. The scientists noticed that Loganberry could withstand a great amount of physical damage; Loganberry was asking for an ambulance, but nobody paid him any attention. (Eventually Loganberry became a superheroe, but he didn't seem to remember this encounter with the Pulverizer; the Pulverizer might not remember it either.)
Pulverizer versus the perceived-as-bad guys
The Pulverizer got his own comic-book series (sometimes called "the stuff"). In the Pulverizer's opinion, "the stuff" was akin to an addictive drug that turned children into amoral beasts, and the Pulverizer decided to track it to its origin and rid the world of that threat. He knew that "the stuff" was being distributed from a newstand at Lexington and 45th but he did not know where it was. However, he found a secret hideout where several children met to play Monopoly, and he suspected that one of them was a reader of "the stuff." The Pulverizer entered shooting and, when one of the kids called him by his nom-the-guerre, he took that child and questioned him. After several threats, the kid agreed to reveal that the newsstand was at Lexington and 45th.
The Pulverizer went to the newsstand and first asked the manager about "the stuff;" but the manager pretended to not understand. The Pulverizer made "blam blam pow pow" noises and jammed the cannon of his 40-odd-7 Belefescue rim-packed sluice-gated close-action revolver with double-hiped Andrews hollow-nose ammo feed into the manager's mouth. Scared, the manager uttered "WKSFRSTSK," a word that the Pulverizer did not recognize. A female bystander told the Pulverizer that his interloper could not speak with the gun in his mouth, but the Pulverizer killed the woman and insisted; but he got nothing but "Wksfrstsk." The Pulverizer mistakenly believed that the high-ranking echelons of the crime organization had scared the man; thus, he would watch and wait for the delivery person. A delivery person appeared in a van with a sign from "WKSFRSTSK Distribution," and he made the mistake of recognizing the Pulverizer. The Pulverizer shot the delivery person, but the driver of the van tried to run away. The Pulverizer tailed the van from his Warwagon, but he admitted that he was slower and would eventually lose his prey. The Pulverizer shot them with a Hama-grell cinch-bore switchback Magnum with the stoked Yamaha DX-7 flanger, aiming at the wheels, but the shot hit the fuel depot of the van, destroying it in a big explosion. Nonetheless, the remains of it hit the Pulverizer in the face (literally), and he understood that WKSFRSTSK Distribution was his target.
While the Pulverizer might have simply looked for the address of Wksfrstsk in the phone book, he instead burst onto a seedy waterfront bar, shooting the patrons until someone agreed to search the address for him.
The Pulverizer then went to the offices of Wksfrstsk. He prepared some of his more powerful weapons: He took his 3.55 millimeter slip-streamed bit-mapped Callahan-Siegel fieldpiece, attached the double reverse blowback overhead-cam Orzechowski ammo feed, then the 300 DPI modified Pendleton underslung file damper, then the Digital IR-UV-VHS Kramden-Norton cross-calibrated stereotopic gunsight…and eventually he collapsed under all the weight. Agents of Wksfrstsk captured him, searched him and found a pile of several illegal weapons — but they missed a 3.5 inch Baron-Williams rocket launcher. Leaving the Pulverizer in his skull-motived underwear, they tied him to a chair and threatened him, but one of the Wksfrstsk minions mentioned that they were in the last page of the story. Motivated by the urgency, the Pulverizer released himself, killed everybody with the rocket launcher and took the "stuff." He carefully read the same issues that killed a child's morality, and found the source of the stuff: 387 Park Avenue South, the offices of Marble Comics. The Pulverizer, in his underpants, left the building threw some grenades behind him and squinted, walking toward the offices of Marble to make them pay.
However, the next thing we knew, the Pulverizer had joined a team of other non-Mutie super-heroes to oppose the X-Persons. Known as the ominous consortium of their most deadly and most implacable enemies. The Pulverizer and his new allies intended to destroy the X-Persons because the X-Persons had a genetic S-Factor increasing the sales of their comic-books, and the consortium wanted the Muties to stop exceeding their sales. The X-Persons tried to hide in a beach house, but, as revealed by the Scarlett Wench and Slicksilver in a guest appearance, the Consortium was on their way there. The Consortium sent some villain groups to attack the X-Persons, so that the X-Persons were weakened before the Consortium arrived. Finally, the Punisher joined the Consortium in the first charge against the X-Persons, claiming to enjoy the battle. The outcome of the battle is unclear, but probably did not kill any important character.
The weird coupling
Another similar criminal, the Tenpin of Crime, decided to work along the Gutter Gang to make Pulverizer fight another superhero, Wulvoream (previously known as Loganberry) and get rid of them both while the Tenpin watches from the shadows. The Gutter Gang sent invitations to both Pulverizer and Wulvoream, attracting them to their hideout. Pulverizer received his while he was in the city dump, thinking about the corruption in the city, but he took the chance to leave and go to the hideout, thinking he was unstoppable and narrating the story. He suddenly met Wulvoream, who was also narrating the story (and in fact, off-the-record, had already complained for not getting top-billed, but Pulverizer was already laughing at him because Pulverizer had read the whole script). Pulverizer and Wulvoream started shouting at each other; the letterer tried to convince them to fight instead of giving him work, but Pulverizer and Wulvoream worked together to threaten the letterer with violence against him, so the letterer returned to his work, and Pulverizer and Wulvoream returned to their insults.
The Gutter Gang then appeared and offered to surrender to the toughest good guy around, in a clear attempt to make the heroes fight each other. Initially, Wulvoream, the Pulverizer and his chest skull laughed at the idea, but the Gutter Gang sounded a bell and Pavlovian conditioned made the heroes fight so much, that the drawer refused to depict it. The Pulverizer's weapons gave him the upper hand; Wulvoream retreated to use his recuperative powers. He returned, with the Gutter Gang raising a sign of "round 2"; the Pulverizer shot him thrice and round 2 was over. For round 3, Pulverizer pretended to be hiding in a great pipe but, when Wulvoream looked inside, he discovered it was a great cannon and the Pulverizer fired it point-blank. They eventually fought in a boxing ring with a live audience, but the Pulverizer used his ranged firearms to get rid of Wulvoream as soon as the round started. The bets clearly favored the Pulverizer.
But, in round 187, Pulverizer got no more bullets and Wulvoream used his secret weapon: The blackboard of doom, which he scratched with his claws, to Pulverizer's (and chest skull's) chagrin (following a joke credited to Barry Crain, from Chicago). Pulverizer used his blooie knife and shot knives to Wulvoream… so both of them got down. The Gutter Gang decreed that the Tenpin was the winner and the "end" sign appeared… but then, both the Pulverizer and Wulvoream recovered. They had discovered Tenpin's involvement by reading some panels they weren't in, and they invaded the Tenpin's lair. Having defeated the guards, Pulverizer and Wulvoream cornered Tenpin. Tenpin offered to surrender to the best crimefighter and, albeit Pulverizer and Wulvoream intended not to fall for that again, they were unable to avoid it when Tenpin sounded a bell: Pulverizer shot Wulvoream point-blank, while Wulvoream horizontally sliced Pulverizer.
The following summer, in the quiz show "You bet your dignity", the host Mr. U-tu showed images of so-called familiar items in the Marble Universe, including the comb that the Pulverizer had given to the Kingpin the previous Christmas. Scaredevil failed to see the image because he was blind; the Beastie mistakenly believed it to be a Kree War-Cruiser; mute Black Dolt was unable to say anything in time; but Longshort guessed what it was because he was lucky.
In an ill-conceived character coupling (known as Coupling #139), the Pulverizer was paired (or quinteted) with the Loust, Mr. Fantastical, Silver Burper and the Watchman. As his partners were Marble's most long-winded characters—to the point of their speech balloons covering the Pulverizer's words—, the Pulverizer thought that this was his worst nightmare come true. The team saw an armed man trying to steal a woman's purse; the Pulverizer and his chest skull found both the woman and the gun to be attractive. The team initially considered rescuing the woman, but the Burper and the Watchman insisted in expanding their speeches for several more panels, contemplating questions for their consideration. Finally reaching the limits of his patience, the Pulverizer fired at his allies and, satisfied and drooling, chased the mugger shooting more. The mugger tried to escape and asked for mercy.
The Pulverizer became a famous and well-liked character in the pages of What The--?! Vol 1, deserving an origin story and a bonus fun page in What The--?! #6 (with two games, "connect the bullet holes" and "which Pulverizer doesn't belong?"), Two issues later, the Pulverizer was, along with Wolveream (previously known as Wulvoream), one of the two characters appearing in each and every comic published by Marble (although Wolveream was more famous). The Pulverizer also had two pin-ups in that issue, one by himself and another shared with the inedible Bulk. In the first pin-up, the Pulverizer is spanking young criminals and making them graffiti hundreds of times the sentence "I'll be a good punk." In the second one, the Bulk is angry at someone having shot at him and the Pulverizer is holding a gun, but the Pulverizer, clearly intimidated at the Bulk, claims to have been shooting not at Bulk, but at the person who was shooting at Bulk, who looked like Spidey-Man following the Pulverizer's statement.
Hiding in an alley near the offices of Marble, the Pulverizer saw how the recently-resurrected Forbush Man had been kicked off when trying to demand recognition. The Pulverizer attracted him offering means for revenge, and the Forbush Man misrecognized him as Wolveream. This angered the Pulverizer, who started jumping in site over the beaten body of Mr. Bat-mom, who was there for no reason. Forbush admitted that Pulverizer was his second choice, and the Pulverizer relented. The Pulverizer offered Forbush a big personal weapon who was too small for the Pulverizer's standards, and guided Forbush to Terry Kavanagh, editor of What The--?! Forbush wanted to thank the Pulverizer, but the Pulverizer only wanted Forbush to kill all the people he could. Forbush burst in Marble's offices shooting, but Kavanagh convinced him that they were publishing one story of Forbush. This made Forbush stop long enough for Kavanagh to kick Forbush out of his office. Meanwhile, after a hard day of work, the Pulverizer relaxed at Bud's Sud, a favorite place for heroes and villains to rest. Pulverizer favored a small cup of tea.
After all, by that time, the Pulverizer and Wolveream (previously known as Wolvie) were two of the most respected guest stars in the Marble Universe, way better than the Human Scorch from the Fantastical Four.
The Pulverizer had a personal friend, the less-than-attractive Nachochip (sometimes known as Microchip). For Christmas 1990, Nachochip presented the Punisher with a big rifle that he happily hugged. The Pulverizer's new year's resolution including being more dedicated at his work, which meant killing even more criminals.
The Pulverizer then followed the trail of racketeer Big Al Bondigas and his gang (including "Arms" Akimbo, Fat Boy(TM) and Mogsey). After weeks of work, and after hiring Bulk to write his one-liners, the Pulverizer discovered that Bondigas intended to spoil the inauguration of Obnoxio the Clown's Funland, the new amusement part owned and managed by Obnoxio the Clown—Obnoxio had refused to pay them "protection money." The Pulverizer went there, disguised with his coat and hat, as a member of the audience. He witnessed the gangster trying to break everything, riding in the Apocalypse Now Riverboat Ride. The Pulverizer took control of the train from the Urban Mass Transit Decay Land while talking about himself in the third person—he swore to never hire the Bulk again for his lines. Obnoxio, seeing that the Pulverizer's actions were also destroying his park, ran after them all.
The gangsters climbed the Leanin' Tower of Nielsen Ratings and, following them, Pulverizer made a pun about "staying tuned." Obnoxio got an idea and made good use of the movie Patton on TV to shot the gangsters with artillery; but the gangsters rode the shells and escaped from the Pulverizer, going to other parts of the fair. The Pulverizer tried to follow them, and found the gangster covered in hamburger buns so stale that they deflected the Pulverizer's bullets. The Pulverizer stopped them throwing a gourmet grenade, that left them tied. Obnoxio, joining the Pulverizer, offered to phone the police, but the Pulverizer politely protested and, to save Obnoxio the money of phoning, he executed the mobsters. He then said his farewell and wished Obnoxio good luck with his new amusement park, apparently oblivious to the fact that the park had been ruined during the fight—or maybe more perceptive than suddenly-depressed Obnoxio, because the visitors were enjoying the new ad-hoc entertainments and the so-called fireworks.
Teamwork, part one
The Pulverizer then travelled to Colombia—at least he tought it was Colombia—tracking international criminal Don Druglordo. While in the local jungles, the Pulverizer's warwagon got stuck in quicksand and, due to his experience as a Vietnam vet(erinarian), the Pulverizer knew he should go on on foot; the warwagon then sunk. He attached a Vernier sight to his .675 side-slung deflected chamber Van Damme-Seagal repeating rifle and went on, but he remained in an approved skulking zone. Meanwhile, the Pulverizer's old colleague Wolverweenie (previously known as Wolveream) was in the same jungle looking for the same criminal, and found the Pulverizer in the skulking zone. Not recognizing him from behind, Wolverweenie sneakily, stealthily skulked the Pulverizer and, when Wolverweenie was close to the Pulverizer, he noisily took out his claws. The Pulverizer got startled, moved and accidentally pushed Wolverweenie into a nearby swamp with his rifle's butt. Wolverweenie went out covered in mud, babbling because he had mud in his mouth too. The Pulverizer took him for an aggressively-shouting "bog beast," something similar to the Swamp-Thang, and shot him several times. Wolverweenie recovered soon, thanks to his recuperative super-powers, and cleaned himself so that the Pulverizer could recognize him.
The two heroes began to argue on whether they were in Colombia or in Costa Lottamoola, and whether they were in Pulverizer's or in Wolverweenie's comic series. The argument was interrupted when a swarm of bugs started painfully biting Wolverweenie; he asked the Pulverizer for help, and the Pulverizer killed all the bugs by shooting at them… injuring Wolverweenie while doing so. The narrator then talked about long exposition, two flashbacks and one fight scene, after which the two heroes started working together because it was good for the sales, and they walked through the jungle killing endangered animals (including the Creature from the Black Lagoon) and spoiling the ecology of the rain forest, something that the fans could not care for less.
They reached Druglordo's camp, crowded with armed guards. Wolverweenie suggested a silent approach, but to the Pulverizer that only meant that he should use a small gun, with no silencer. This caused Druglordo's men to sound the alarm. After reprimanding the Pulverizer, Wolverweenie prepared to release his berserker side in a three-panel speech; meanwhile, the Pulverizer attacked the guards with his guns, his tank and his bombing helicopter, and put the enemies to flight. He had to interrupt Wolverweenie's brooding so they could chase them together. The fleeing guards shot at the heroes all of their rounds, but missed. The Pulverizer correctly predicted that they would then throw their weapons at the heroes. Wolverweenie then asked the Pulverizer for a moment of inaction while artist Hilary Barta and letterer Willie Schubert took a rest after several crowded panels.
The Pulverizer and Wolverweenie found that Druglordo's camp's main gates were open, but decided to crash through them nonetheless for the effect to attack their enemies. They entered to find that the enemies had already been defeated: Pumpin' Iron Man, She-Bulk and Sore, three high-ranking conventional superheroes from the Revengers, had went there because they had nothing better to do that evening, and defeated the enemies without even killing them; they greeted the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie, and then left. The Pulverizer and Wolverweenie left through the jungle, each blaming the other of what had happened and of each of their several problems.
Soon afterward, Wolverweenie adopted the name of Woolvie and again teamed up with the Pulverizer, this time to create the New Fantastic Four along with the Ghost Writer in a sales trick to help a leaning title, but the team disbanded soon afterward. However, being as they were the foremost Marble heroes of the time, they decided to remain together unofficially, helping obscure super-heroes to grow darker in character so their sales could go brighter. In one week, these three heroes taught Deathlox, who got a book-shelf series after that; Noman, who got a regular ongoing series; and Katrina Bower of the Bower Brats, re-named "Katy Powder", whose new series was cancelled. The Pulverizer and the Ghost Writer had the nerve sneak into the cover of What The-?! #19, where Doctor Deranged had assumed would have the limelight alone.
Pulverizer and his peers knew about the newbie hero in New York City, Darkgeek, and went to help him. They found Darkgeek trying to scare four muggers from attacking a common person, but the criminals found Darkgeek laughable. The Ghost Writer, the Pulverizer and Woolvie appeared, beat the bad guys and forced Darkgeek to follow their so-called "freshman orientation." Darkgeek explained that his model was Chaplain America, but the Pulverizer told him that this was a common misconception, and took Darkgeek for a practical lesson. While stalking a seedy waterfront bar, the Pulverizer prompted Darkgeek to write everything down, with many metaphors; Darkgeek replied that, by doing so, the Pulverizer was creating incriminatory proofs against himself, and the Pulverizer admitted to have not thought about that. Nonetheless, the Pulverizer entered the seedy waterfront bar demanding answers and killing all the patrons; Darkgeek noticed that, as the Pulverizer had killed everyone there, no-one could answer his questions, but the Pulverizer told that there were other seedy waterfront bars. After three other bars and twenty-four ambulances, the Pulverizer took Darkgeek to a dock storehouse, where the Ghost Writer took the lesson and burned down the criminal Sludge. Darkgeek learned, went to the man he tried to save the night before, and walloped him for wasting energy by lighting bulbs at night; he threatened to come back and left the man on the floor, perhaps dead. The Ghost Writer, the Pulverizer and Woolvie were watching him, and they thought he was not violent enough. The Pulverizer asked who was their next student, and The Ghost Writer mentioned a Night Splasher.
By then, Smilin' Sulatu, a member of the alien species known as the Watchers, was trying to present classic movies "in the Mighty Marble Manner" for the delight—or something— of his sleepy fellow, Oscillatin' Oago, also a Watcher. In Sulatu's adaptation of John Huston's The Maltese Falcon, known as The Malted Falcon, the Pulverizer and Woolvie were the two bodyguards working for the criminal known only as The Fat Man, with the Pulverizer alternating between two weapons: A big rifle and a huge pizza cutter. The Fat Man and his minions had followed the attractive Scarlett Wench to Chaplain America's private investigation business, where she had asked America to help her find her unique artwork Malted Falcon. The Fat Man and his thugs entered later and the Fat Man ordered America to find the Flacon in fifteen minutes. Luckily, a fatally-wounded Norwegian ship captain staggered in during that time, handling America a package. The Fat Man and his minions then entered again, and America gave them the box. The Pulverizer and Woolvie helped the Fat Man open it only to find, to their surprise, that it was not the Malted Falcon: It was the Malted DeFalco!.
Teamwork, part two (simply because part one was too long)
Meanwhile, the superheroine Sheeza-Hulk (previously known as She-Bulk) was disgruntled at her boyfriend-lacking life. Her friend Wheezy Grunt supported her while she published a personal ad in the newspaper, and she got many answers of the several super-single men in Marble—including one from the Pulverizer. Grunt identified the Pulverizer as the first potential date for Sheeza-Hulk, but Sheeza-Hulk first opposed because she thought he was insane; then she saw that the second choice was Pulverizer's friend, the less attractive Nachochip. Sheeza-Hulk agreed to give it a try to powder smell. The date started all right with Pulverizer wearing a white-dotted red tie over his costume, and taking her to Cafe Snoteé. However, monolingual Pulverizer was having trouble reading the menu in French and he thought the waiter was snickering at him; losing his temper, the Pulverizer started shooting with his Acme portable ICBM, destroying the whole building. The following night, Sheeza-Hulk was looking for a different mate.
Smilin' Sulatu then decided to adapt Driving Miss Daisy to the Marble style. In his adaptation, the Quasi-Humans paired Medoozy with a guest star chauffeur, the Toast Rider, to improve their sales. The Rider's aggressive attitude against innocent bystanders gave Medoozy a boost including a possible graphic novel, poster and new series, so the initially-reluctant Medoozy suddenly accepted her new partner. However, the Pulverizer and Wolveream (previously known as Wolverweenie) felt threatened, as they thought Medoozy was cutting into their sales, and decided to face them: They prepared a barrier to stop the Rider's bike and threatened them. But Medoozy was adamant and ordered the Rider to launch his "pennies stare", burying the Pulverizer and Wolveream under a pile of coins.
A group of common criminals staged a scheme to fight the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie (previously known as Wolveream), preparing a crowd of felons in the street to attract the heroes, a hidden dragon Fin Fang Foom as their backup, and a speech starting with "Ah, you've come at last." The plot attracted both the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie, who jumped on the bad guys from a high position… but then Wolverweenie noticed that his name was second-billed and small-fonted in the title and objected to that. The Pulverizer stopped his own fight against the criminals and opposed to change it. Wolverweenie pulled out his claws, and the Pulverizer took a huge weapon requiring a tripod. Wolverweenie said he was not scared, as his recuperative power would always save his life and allow him to go back for more. The Pulverizer grinned, knowing he would enjoy that. The criminals, ignored by both of them, tried to start their speech several times, sometimes with modifications such as swearings or yawning, but never calling their attention.
In an attempt to prove his worth, Wolverweenie fished a tuna with his claws and quickly made sushi of it. The Pulverizer used his gun to blow up the façade of a nearby building. Wanting to prove his greater popularity, Wolverweenie showed an article written by Sydney Mellonhead in the magazine "Amazing Zeros" (I understand it's the same Sidney, with i, who wrote the bodybuilding guides used by Frank Casket when he trained to become the Pulverizer); the Pulverizer countered this with an intellectual essay by Kenneth Smirks in "The Comical Gerbil." Smirk is so complex and obscure that neither Pulverizer nor Wolverweenie could understand his descriptions of angst and redefining American ideals. The Pulverizer tried to counterbalance Wolverweenie by showing that he had what Wolverweenie had not: A major motion picture, starring Dork Lumpgrin. This was such a bad movie that not only Wolverweenie, but the criminals and Fin Fang Foom burst to laughter. Finally, the Pulverizer tried to prove that his comic-book series had better sales than Wolverweenie's, and they both decided to visit Marble Comics' offices at 387 Park Avenue South. The criminals, including Fin Fang Foom, were left behind, and they decided to try his luck at Sore's comic-book issue.
Once at Marbel, Pulverizer's editor Don showed sales graphics proving that Pulverizer was best-selling; but Wolverweenie's editor Bob tried to offer demographics proving that Wolverweenie was favorite in some areas, and suggesting that Don's sales were declining. Don had prepared a publicity campaign for the Pulverizer, with a centerfold in the magazine "Ammo Amour", a boss embossed glow-in-the-dark radioactive scratch-n-sniff cover logos, guest-starring appearances in other series including "Barbie's Fashion", a promotional tour of the official Pulverizer Barrage Balloon over Yonkers and a premiere of their new series "Pulverizer Lite" in the liberal states. Soon, Don and Bob started to argue, with the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie deciding that editors were like kids; but when Don and Bob went physical in their violence, the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie got scared and tried to escape.
They were stopped by the Marbel Corporate Lawyers, who proclaimed that the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie had not fought each other in the mandatory combat scene for each and any of their crossover stories. This was punishable with a sentence for a prescribed period in the pre-teen Marble comics. The Pulverizer and Wolverweenie were relegated to appear in "Fluffy Wuffy Tales" for a time after that. The movie about him, titled "The Punster", stayed only for a little time in theaters.
Not to be stopped for good, the Pulverizer began to work for the Forbush Man during the later's lessons on "How To Draw Other Comics The Marble Way" - by becoming a character in the examples provided for romance, western and sci-fi comic-books, always holding a knife in his mouth. Wolverweenie also contributed to that, but they did not share a panel.
Reaching old age thanks to his healthy lifestyle, Casket -who eventually changed his monniker to Punisher- lived to see the year 2099, albeit prostrated in the bed of a nursing home called "Sunny Side". Casket obtained privileges to use machine gun and bowie knife, and devoted his time to allocate justice on whichever other intern tried to cheat at bingo. After murdering seven old people, one of the nurses threatened to revoke his permission to use weapons.
As he is a comedy character, he can survive supposedly lethal injuries such as being cut in half.
The Pulverizer trained physically to perfect his fighting skills, and he formally practiced alliteration for his speeches, which he systematically uses when writing in his war journal (also known as war urinal) The Pulverizer apparently numbers his journal entry randomly. Casket is also good at questioning opponents by using threats related to personal hygiene (such as putting a lollipop in Casket's armpit and later in the questioned person's mouth), by jamming a gun's cannon in the questioned person's mouth or by making "blam blam" noises as if he was shooting. When questioning, Casket sometimes bluffs by saying that he's only going to ask once, but then he asks several times.
The Pulverizer also knows that he is a comic-book character, and makes good use of it: He can read panels he's not at, and even read his own stories in advance. At the same time, he is worried about the sales of his series, especially when other characters cut into his sales.
He does not speak French.
The Pulverizer has a uniform. The luminescent, white skull in his chest, thought to attract enemy fire, is especially protected with a triple layer of K-Mart Armor. The Pulverizer can leave the skull on his chest when he takes out the shirt, or not. The skull is reactive to the environment, sometimes mimicking Casket's expressions and sometimes making faces by itself. It also requires special cares, including brushing its teeth, which Casket must perform. It can also change shape and become the blood-stained smiley from Watchmen, the logo of the Fantastic Four, a light bulb, Casper the Friendly Ghost or Porky Pig. When it's a skull, it can even shoot bullets from its eyes.
- The Pulverizer's weapons include:
- Acme portable ICBM.
- AK-47 assault rifle.
- Ameli 5.56mm. LMG.
- 3.5 inch Baron-Williams rocket launcher
- 40-odd-7 Belefescue rim-packed sluice-gated close-action revolver with double-hiped Andrews hollow-nose ammo feed
- blooie knife that shoots knives and sounds "blooie! blooie!". Does not require bullets.
- Brass knuckles he can use to open a man-sized hole in the wall surrounding a mansion.
- 3.55 millimeter slip-streamed bit-mapped Callahan-Siegel fieldpiece
- Good guy bullets that don't miss their intended target even if it's a fellow superhero —as opposite to bad guy bullets that always miss when shot at their targets. Unfortunately, there's a limited amount of bullets.
- Gourmet grenade to avoid fast food from running away.
- Two grenade launchers.
- Groth-Thompson overblown scattergun
- 30.06 double-action Guglielmo reamed free-fire blowback assault rifle with Kirgiz-Pittman deflecter silencer
- Hama-grell cinch-bore switchback Magnum with the stoked Yamaha DX-7 flanger
- Magnum .44.
- Mobile anti-tank missile.
- One pack of juncyfruits.
- One huge, two-handed pizza cutter.
- .675 side-slung deflected chamber Van Damme-Seagal repeating rifle.
- Attachments for the Pulverizer's weapons include:
- double reverse blowback overhead-cam Orzechowski ammo feed; can be attached to the Callahan-Siegel
- 300 DPI modified Pendleton underslung file damper; can be attached to the Callahan-Siegel
- Digital IR-UV-VHS Kramden-Norton cross-calibrated stereotopic gunsight; can be attached to the Callahan-Siegel
- Vernier sight; can be attached to the Van Damme-Seagal.
- 17 Appearances of Frank Casket (Earth-9047)
- 1 Minor Appearances of Frank Casket (Earth-9047)
- Media Frank Casket (Earth-9047) was Mentioned in
- 20 Images featuring Frank Casket (Earth-9047)
- 3 Quotations by or about Frank Casket (Earth-9047)
- Character Gallery: Frank Casket (Earth-9047)
Discover and Discuss
- Search this site for:
- ↑ (identified as Francis in Guardians of the Crosswalk in What The--?! #25
- ↑ 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 2.11 2.12 2.13 2.14 2.15 2.16 2.17 2.18 2.19 Origin of the Pulverizer in What The--?! #6
- ↑ 3.00 3.01 3.02 3.03 3.04 3.05 3.06 3.07 3.08 3.09 3.10 3.11 3.12 3.13 3.14 3.15 3.16 3.17 3.18 3.19 3.20 3.21 3.22 3.23 Accounts Overdrawn -- Checks returned for lack of funds in What The--?! #1
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 Top ten favorite TV shows of the Marvel Heroes in What The--?! #18
- ↑ 5.0 5.1 Memories in What The--?! #25
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 2099: A marvel update in What The--?! #25
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 Mutant Beach Party! Part 2 in what The--?! #4
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 Ill-conceived character couplings in What The--?! #5
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 Discharm School in What The--?! #19
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 Guardians of the Crosswalk in What The--?! #25.
- ↑ Weapon X, lies and videotape in What The--?! #21
- ↑ Mutant Beach Party! in What The--?! #3
- ↑ as inferred because most of them appear in further issues.
- ↑ 14.0 14.1 You bet your dignity in What The--?! #5
- ↑ 15.0 15.1 These dates are to be considered topical, I guess
- ↑ 16.0 16.1 16.2 16.3 16.4 16.5 16.6 16.7 16.8 16.9 The Pulverizer and Wulvoream: Wake up and shoot the coffee or: tough guys don't prance in What The--?! #5
- ↑ Pulverizer Fun Page in What The--?! #6
- ↑ 18.0 18.1 18.2 Return of the Forbush Man in What The--?! #8
- ↑ Pin-ups in What The--?! #8
- ↑ After Hours in What The--?! #8
- ↑ To Save You, Why Must I Floss? in What The--?! #10
- ↑ What the Marble superheroes and villains got for Christmas in What The--?! Vol 1 10
- ↑ What is your new years [sic.] resolution? in What The--?! #11
- ↑ It's weird because the cover date says that the comic was published in March.
- ↑ 25.0 25.1 25.2 25.3 Obnoxio the clown and the Pulverizer in Obnoxio the Clown's Funland aka Let the Punisher fit the Clown! in What The--?! #13
- ↑ 26.00 26.01 26.02 26.03 26.04 26.05 26.06 26.07 26.08 26.09 26.10 Teaming up for the money! in What The--?! #17
- ↑ Cover of What The--?! #19
- ↑ 28.0 28.1 Marble Movie Madness: The Malted Falcon in What The--?! #19
- ↑ 29.0 29.1 29.2 The satirical Sheeza-Hulk" in "Be My Valentine… or else" in What The--?! Vol 1 21
- ↑ 30.0 30.1 Marble Movie Madness: Driving Medoozy in What The--?! #21
- ↑ 31.0 31.1 31.2 31.3 31.4 Nine lives hath the Cataclysm starring the Pulverizer and Wolverweenie in What The--?! #22
- ↑ Captains Outrageous! in What The--?! #22
- ↑ How To Draw Other Comics The Marble Way in What The--?! #23
- ↑ Cite error: Invalid
<ref>tag; no text was provided for refs named
|Like this? Let us know!|