- You don't gotta take out a morgage on an ivory tower to recognize stupidity when you see it!
Appearing in "Four Feathers of Death! Or: Enter the Duck!"
- United States of America
- Master C'haaj School Graduation Pendant
Synopsis for "Four Feathers of Death! Or: Enter the Duck!"
Leaving a theater after watching the latest Kung-Fu epic, Howard is disgusted by the fact that human culture would glamorize such violence and questions the merit of bastardizing of a culture to make a violent film that encourages young people to imitate. To prove his point, Howard and Beverly are bumped into by a young man who is imitating some of the moves that he saw in the movie. Telling the boy off, Howard and Beverly go into a diner for some food. Shortly after, the boy is thrown through the diner's window by Count Macho, a master of kung-fu and a self proclaimed macho man who will not stand for any effrontery to his manhood.
When Howard tries to talk Macho out of beating the boy a fight erupts in the diner that increases in size as more patrons get up to fight Macho and his hoods. During the scuffle, the boy is stabbed by Macho, and his gang leaves shortly after. When Howard tries to stop them Macho beats Howard, however Howard pulls off Macho's pendant.
In the ensuing chaos, Howard manages to back the crowd away so that Beverly can administer first aid until the authorities can arrive and take him away, Beverly goes with the paramedics leaving Howard to stew over what happened. Hoping to relax by browsing in an adult book store, Howard comes across a who rack of magazines devoted to Kung-Fu. Further disgusted by the wanton glamorization of violence, Howard browses through one of the magazines and happens upon an ad for Master C'haaj, who promises to teach the secrets of any fighting style.
Deciding to beat Count Macho at his own game, Howard goes to Master C'haaj's school where he is welcomed as C'haaj's newest pupil and begins his training. Meanwhile, Beverly is told at the hospital that the boy had died in surgery. Leaving the hospital, Beverly is then captured by Macho's thugs.
Back at the martial arts school, Howard trains his mind and body in the art of Quack-Fu and becomes a master of the fighting style in just under three hours. Given a fighting outfit, Howard suddenly finds himself back outside the adult book store as if the fighting school vanished. Rushing home to tell Beverly of his experience, Howard finds a note on the door from Macho demanding his pendant back. Howard goes to the meeting place and beats all of Macho's goons, and in the fight with Macho, Howard is able to deflect all of Macho's attacks. In a fit of rage, Macho jumps at Howard, who moves out of the way and Macho plummets off the sky scraper to his death. After the two reflect on the whole incident, believing that Macho deserved his fate, but not liking the idea that he had died.
- First and only known appearance to date besides flashbacks
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