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A Christmas Carol

Milk was a charming, perky sixteen-year-old girl who obtain her superpowers for means she was not aware of - albeit she speculated she could be a mutant. She joined the monster-like male superhero Cookies,[5] her lunchroom buddy,[4] and they became a couple of tasty-themed heroes. They got a pin-up on What The--!?, and their popularity from that point on was rising.[3] They were initially feared both by the people they protected and by high-ranking supervillains including Doctor Octopus, Juggernaut, Krang, Mad Dog, Mandarin, Sabretooth. More than once Milk and Cookies confronted and arrested the villain Col. Gate.[5]

Eventually the heroes became famous and beloved, and Milk's picture appeared in the cover of Variety. Milk and Cookies also served as ambassadors to receive well-liked Santa Claus when he rose from the chimney for Christmas.[5]

Col. Gate, wanting revenge against Milk and Cookies, laid traps specifically for these heroes for two weeks - but instead he captured other heroes including Chaplain America, Prince No-More, The Pulverizer, Scaredevil, Spidey-Man and three of the Fantastical Four (Mr. Fantastical, the Inevitable Woman and The Thung). Gate arranged a new plot: He sacked "Manny's House of Cake 'n' Candy", leaving behind his lair's address and used reverse psychology to bait Milk and Cookies there - right into his new trap.[5]

Milk and Cookies 2

Milk was attracted to the Human Scorch

Milk and Cookies followed the trail to Gate's lair and, on their way, they met guest star Human Scorch of the Fantastical Four, who was looking for his partners. Milk felt romantic attraction towards the Scorch and she recruited him to help in Gate's lair - The Scorch agreed, correctly assuming that Gate had captured his friends.[5]

Once in the outskirts of Gate's lair, the Scorch left Milk to look for his friends while Milk and Cookies looked for traps. Cookies decided to break a wall to enter, something that Milk opposed to in case they were wrong and it was not Gate's lair. However, Cookies distracted Milk for a second making her look at some other point and, when she looked back, she simply believed that the wall had a convenient hole - not believing that Cookies had just opened it.[5]

Milk and Cookies enter the warehouse, where Gate greets them releasing his huge Christmas-themed robot S'Aanta. S'Aanta grabbed one heroe with each of his hands trapping them. Thinking quickly, Milk made S'Aanta wink with her bolts, and asked Cookies to move a finger to S'Aanta's nose. As this was Santa Claus' code movement to go up a chimney, the robot was sent up… to outer space, where he exploded harmlessly. Milk and Cookies were released.[5]

Defenceless, Gate asked for the heroes' mercy. Milk felt sympathy for him, believing that Gate was not unlike Milk and Cookies themselves; but Cookies still raged for vengeance. Milk and Cookies started a philosophical debate, and Gate tried to take this chance to escape - but his way was blocked by the Human Scorch and the other heroes, whom the Scorch had released.[5]

Milk and Cookies 3

Milk and Cookies have defeated Col. Gate!

Having succeed at this encounter, the Scorch flirted with Milk, but Cookies insisted that they should leave pronto, not only due to their superheroic nature, but because he had parked his jeep in a tow-away zone. The heroes let them go but they talked about how Milk and Cookies were good additions to the Marble Universe.[5]

Guest Star: Starchy!

Milk and Cookies were next seen fighting a Tyranosaurus in the streets of Riverdull (USA). The dinosaur managed to hit Milk, who was sent flying through the window of a local potart choclit' shop. Seeing Milk hurt, Cookies went berserk against the monster, but was still unable to defeat him.[4]

Meanwhile, Milk recovered her senses within the cafe and noticed four neat and tidy teenagers (Starchy Androods, Biddy Cooper, Moronica and Jerkhead snacking hamburgers, ice cream and brew. Milk decided that the youngsters' diet was unhealthy and that she should warn them against that eating habit. She could hear Cookies fighting the dinosaur and she considered helping her friend instead, but she decided against that: The children needed her advice, and Cookies could take care of himeslf.[4]

When Milk insisted that the kids should eat fruit instead or risk losing their teeth, Starchy Androods, self-appointed spokesperson of the students, revealed that they were really old people disguised as teens. Apparently they had been working as "typical teenagers" for decades, even if they had already turned into grumpy old people. Milk left the cafe in shame while Androods reprimanded him. Only when she left, she saw that Cookies had defeated the reptile - at chess.[4]

A Chanuka Carol

Milk and Cookies 1

Milk and Cookies, a force to be reckoned!

During the following weeks, Milk and Cookies became more and more popular, with a new beach-themed group pin-up in which Milk enjoyed a sunbath.[6]

While Cookies was on his own quest, Milk noticed a broken wall at a suburb home and entered - only to discover that Cookies was already there, questioning the dwellers about a burglary they had suffered. Cookies recruited Milk to help him looking for stolen Chanuka items. Milk offered a convenient newspaper mentioning a Chanuka exhibit at the Bill Fingerstein Memorial Museum, and Cookies agreed to follow that lead, believing to be in the trail of Chanuka burglar. However, Milk insisted that she wanted to read the comic strip before they left.[7]

Milk and Cookies visited the museum at night but, although they were alert, they were knocked out by the young villain Myron before they could react. Myron quickly tied both heroes to individual candles in a sort of death trap, and he left. Milk woke up before Cookies did. Only then Myron came back, eager to give his villain speech (Milk insisted she was not interested on Myron's origin, but he insisted). Myron revealed to be a kid eager for toys, but he had been repeatedly gifted socks for Chanuka. Cookies tried to talk Myron out of his way by explaining the tradition with words that Milk found touching, but Myron was still angry at the socks.[7]

During the exposition time, however, Milk burned her ropes with candle wax, releasing herself; Cookies simply used his great strenght to break the candle. The heroes prepared to oppose Myron, but Myron's father arrived at that point. The old man mistakenly believed that Milk and Cookies were Myron's playmates and gifted Myron a toy - Myron's family believed that Myron loved toys. The event was moving to Myron, and the kid gave up his criminal ways forever. Milk enjoyed the event and hoped for all the villains to reform themselves as Myron had done. Cookies, meanwhile, took the toy (which happened to be a sock factory) and decided to give Milk some socks as a Christmas present.[7]

The Infinity Wart Crossover!

Milk and Cookies' popularity kept growing and they finally received their own comic-book series, with a recursive hologram cover in issue #1 - which was also a crossover with the Infinity Wart Saga![1] What is the Infinity Wart Saga? Let me put you in context: The supervillain Negative Forbush-Man seized the wish-fulfilling Infinity Wart from its original owner Irving Forbush, the loser known as Forbush Man. Negative Forbush-Man had the intent of using the Wart to rule all of reality.[8]

Milk and Cookies, oblivious to this, were in their civil identities having some ice cream, but they collided with Forbush' Aunt Mayhem. She recognized the superheroes and rudely asked for their help finding her missing nephew. Even thouh Mayhem was blunt and impolite both at them and at Irving, Milk helped her with her bags, hoped for the best and agreed to help.[1]

The streets were then raided by skyscraper-high pitch-black Negative Forbush-Man. Milk quickly identified him as someone similar but different to Forbush, partly due to the different hairstyle of the pot-wearing Forbushes. Negative Forbush-Man teleported Mayhem away and threatened to change history and rebuild worlds. Even if Milk was still dubious, Cookies quickly recognized Negative Forbush-Man as a villain due to the latter's dialogue fonts, and Milk agreed to follow her friend's lead.[1]

Negative Forbush-Man stopped Milk and Cookies effortlessly and looked within the heroes' dark sides to create evil versions of themselves. When Negative Forbush-Man red Milk's inner nature, psyche and soul, she felt physical pain, but she quickly recovered. Negative Forbush-Man finally shaped villains Bread and Water, the punishment that counterweighted the prize of milk and cookies.[1]

While Cookies confronted Water, Milk faced Bread. Bread absorbed Milk's lactal energy without being harmed but, as she was sensitive to a degree comparable to Milk, Bread was not eager to fight a part of herself. Instead, they chatted about philosophy. Milk convinced Bread that each of them was an individual with their own needs and identities; and Bread agreed to battle Milk, although only in a fair fight. Milk quickly discovered she was no match for Bread.[1]

Cookies was having trouble with his doppleganger too. He regrouped with Milk and suggested a new strategy: Instead of refusing to fight as Milk proposed, Cookies insisted in headbutting their enemies to victory! The plan was successful, to Negative Forbush-Man's dismay.[1]

Negative Forbush-Man reduced his size and attacked Milk and Cookies shooting them with sharp Marble merchandise and then collapsing time and space to summon all the other heroes in the Marble Universe (or at least Aunt-Man, Beastie, Bulk, Spidey-Man and the Thung) to the same panel. Negative Forbush-Man hoped that the combined weight of all the heroes would crush Milk and Cookies. However, Milk had a escape plan: By focusing Cookies' strenght in a single point of the panel's border, they could break it and move to a different panel, a location shot. Negative Forbush-Man complained at that, but Milk and Cookies succeeded.[1]

Negative Forbush-Man then collapsed Earth-9047 (the Humorverse) with Earth-8311 (the Ani-verse, populated by furry humanoids) and teleported away. He left behind a spycam so that he could monitor the events from his secret lair, where he kept Irving Forbush prisoner.[2] Milk first noticed they were not in their own universe and recognized local hero Spider-Ham when he appeared[1] (She even found him cute).[2]

As Milk and Cookies were standing among a ravaged street[2] due to their fight with Negative Forbush-Man[1] and there were no other superpowered people there, Spider-Ham assumed that they were villains and confronted them to take them to justice. Milk and Cookies refused to fight back in an attempt to prove their innocence, and Milk explained that no-one evil would be themed after milk and cookies, maybe after peas and carrots. Spider-Ham decided then to befriend Milk and Cookies.[2]

When Milk and Cookies explained that they had defeated their evil doubles, Negative Forbush-Man sent Spider-Ham's evil double, the huge Pork Grind. Grind's superhuman strength and cartoon-based attacks defeated Cookies and then Grind battered Milk. Spider-Ham meddled with their fight to explain Milk and Cookies that, as they were in the Aniverse, they were supposed to fight "toon style".[2]

While Milk and Cookies watched astonished, Spider-Ham allowed Grind to comically beat him up, hoping that Milk and Cookies would learn the style. However, the Humorversans did not really got it: When Grind defeated Spider-Ham, Milk and Cookies tried to fight toon-style, only to be defeated: Cookies was crushed, Milk was spilled.[2]

Spider-Ham recovered and increased his strenght eating a certain vegetable. He then defeated Grind by hitting his nose, impressing Milk and Cookies in the process.[2]

The three heros regrouped, with Milk sitting on the defeated Grind, and tried to find any lead to follow. They were then found by Wolverina, another superheroine from the merging universes. Wolverina had discovered Negative Forbush-Man's plans, lair and spycam; she slashed the camera, introduced herself[2] and quickly took command of the ad-hoc super-team.[9]

Wolverina guided the team through the sewers. When Milk and Spider-Ham asked her about the source of her information, Wolverina showed a guide to supervillains' homes.[9]

Spider-Ham, however, was suspicious: The way was too easy. Wolverina agreed that it was probably a trap, and she prepared a plan: Wolverina, Milk and Cookies would enter first, disguised as ceremonial lancers, while Spider-Ham waited for Cookies' signal to appear as a reinforcement, taking Negative Forbush-Man by surprise. However, when the trio enter Negative Forbush-Man's lair, the villain revealed that he had detected them using his cosmic awareness. Milk assumed that Negative Forbush-Man also knew about Spider-Ham and almost revealed that part of the plan, but Wolverina and Cookies slammed her to a wall to stop her from speaking.[9]

Cookies then signaled Spider-Ham to join the fray, while he and Wolverina attacked Negative Forbush-Man. Milk joined them a second later, milking Negative Forbush-Man with her bolts. Meanwhile, Spider-Ham released Irving Forbush.[9]

Negative Forbush-Man stunned Milk and Cookies with his evil energy bolts. Spider-Ham webbed Negative Forbush-Man before the coup-de-grace, however. Negative Forbush-Man then confronted and defeated Irving Forbush but, just before the killing blow, Wolverine lashed the Infinity Wart with her razor-sharp nails. Negative Forbush-Man quickly sparked and burst, leaving behind a crater and a shockwaver. Fortunately, Spider-Ham protected the heroes and Irving Forbush with a web shield.[9]

Milk and Cookies, already recovered, believed that Negative Forbush-Man had died, but Wolverina was skeptical at that. Irving Forbush then suggested that the five of them form a permanent team, but none of the others wanted to.[9]

What Bigger Villain Could We Face?

Later, the huge Galacticus went to Earth in the intent of eating it. Milk and Cookies travelled to the Earth's orbit to face this enemy. They tried to satiate his hunger with their powers, but they discovered their power was not enough for that. Milk suggested an inner conflict as plan B, while Cookies, anxious to act, threatened Galacticus. Cookies finally got Galacticus' attention: The giant easily slammed Cookies far away.[10]

However, Milk had used this time to plan a strategy, and she even believed that Cookies had "softened" the enemy. Milk red Galacticus the polluted ingredients of Earth, and he decided to leave, looking for the world of broccoli aliens instead. When Cookies came back, he discovered that Milk had succeeded and he congratulated her.[10]

Powers

Milk and Cookies from WT15

Milk's power!

  • Bolts of lactal energy: thrown from any of her hands[5] (or both hands at the same time and while using other powers,[4] or even from her feet)[6] The bolts cause cinetical damage[5] and can also be used to generate streams of liquid milk. Milk can generate these bolts effortlessly, even while distracted.[6] These bolts sometimes interact with the nature of certain targets: When hitting Jim Starlin character spoofs, the impact does not only damage the target, but it also spawns dairy products (mainly cheese) that are expelled from the impact point.[9]
  • Flight: propelled by a stream of milk[3] or using milk otherwise.[5]
  • Force field: In airless environments such as outer space, Milk can swathe herself in a coccoon of milk to survive. She can even pierce the coccoon with the tips of her fingers to shoot her bolts to enemies.[10]
  • Milk hair: Milk's hair is a semi-liquid substance. The pseudo-hair can be grabbed and even pulled,[2] but it explodes into spilled mik when it slams a wall (only to be regenerated in mere seconds).[9]

Abilities

Milk is knowledgeable in several areas of expertise, including classical architecture, historical folklore[5] and the composition of planet Earth.[10] She is an avid reader of The Philosophical Review.[1]

As a superhero, Milk is familiar with several other super-characters in her environment such as the evil Red Skulker, the huge Galacticus,[7] The Forbush Man (whom she actively ignored),[1] and even Spider-Ham, a character from a different universe.[2]

Milk knows she is a comic-book character,[4] perceiving the word balloons around her (She indeed believes her greatest skill is gloating over those)[7] and understanding the limitations of their plots due to the assigned pages. She tries her best to cover a specific goal of apprehension and inner struggle in the assigned number of panels.[4] Due to her nature, and whenever possible, she is not above looking for valuable trading cards featuring Wolveream.[1]

Strength level

Milk has the normal strenght of a human her age, height and constitution who actively engages in frequent strong exercise. She is unable to break common rope bonds with her arms only.[7]

Weaknesses

Milk's lactal energy bolts can be soaked up by the villain Bread, who had been created from a part of Milk's essence. In fact, Milk is so sensitive and introspective that she visibly suffers whenever her essence is manipulated (unlike her laid-back partner Cookies, who does not suffer during this process).

Milk has a high moral fiber and opposes to crime. She is reticent to damage any property, and she empathises even with villains she has just defeated,[5] or even with villains who are defeating her.[7]

Milk is somewhat easily distracted and inattentive to her close environment; she rarely notices the ravage caused by herself or by Cookies as their work.[5] On the other hand, she is observant enough to notice when a character has shrinked several hundred feets of height in a short time.[1] She is also a bigmouth who could easily reveal sensitive information to an enemy without even noticing.[9]


Equipment

Milk wears a close-fitting one-piece uniform with the image of a cow; sometimes, other images appear in parts of her uniform (such as a "Have you seen this hero" notice on her leg). Her hands are partially covered by mittens.[3] Although she can wear different clothes such as bikini,[6] she uses a raincoat and a hat to walk the streets incognito.[1] At some point, Cookies gifted her socks for Christmas.[7]

Milk has big sunglasses that she sometimes uses to reads romance books.[6]

Transportation

She flies under her own power.[5]

"Milk and Cookies" first appeared as a pin-up gag by Sholly Fisch and Rurik Tyler in What The--?! #7.[3] Writer Fisch intended to joke about the pattern of thematically-joined paired characters and, assuming that it would be a one-time joke, she added the caption "Coming never" to the scene. However, artist Tyler approached What The--?! editor Terry Fitzpatrick and convinced him to authorise several stories about the characters. Fitzpatrick proposed Fisch as the writer, because Fisch had been the characters' creator. Fisch was surprised at this, but he and Tyler finally agreed to write several two- and six-page stories. Fisch added the caption "Because Rurik Tyler demanded it!" to the first story, but that text was replaced by "Because your dentist demanded it!"[11]

Milk and Cookies' story in What The--?! #26 was titled "It's our third story so we have to face--Galacticus". It was really Milk and Cookies' tenth appearance or, if you only count stories (and if their three appearances in the Infinity Wart Saga count as one), it's their fifth story. It is not the third story as such in the issue What The--?! #26 either.

Discover and Discuss

Footnotes

  1. 1.00 1.01 1.02 1.03 1.04 1.05 1.06 1.07 1.08 1.09 1.10 1.11 1.12 1.13 1.14 1.15 Lo, There Shall Come A Forbush - First senses-shattering issue!! Milk and Cookies in What The--?! 20
  2. 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 Spider-Ham in "Pork for Dinner, Milk and Cookies for Dessert!" in What The--?! #20
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 Milk and Cookies pin-up in What The--?! #7
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 4.6 4.7 Milk and Cookies in Jurassic Classic in What The--?! #14
  5. 5.00 5.01 5.02 5.03 5.04 5.05 5.06 5.07 5.08 5.09 5.10 5.11 5.12 5.13 5.14 5.15 5.16 5.17 5.18 To Save You, Why Must I Floss? in What The--?! #10
  6. 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4 6.5 Swimsuit section: in What The--?! #15
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 7.4 7.5 7.6 7.7 the Grinch who swiped Chanuka in What The--?! #16
  8. The Irresponsible Forbush Man (The Infinity Wart Saga Part 1) in What The--?! #20
  9. 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 9.5 9.6 9.7 9.8 Leadress of the Pack! in What The--?! #20
  10. 10.0 10.1 10.2 10.3 It's our third story so we have to face--Galacticus in What The--?! #26
  11. www.marvunapp.com/Appendix3/milkcookieswt.htm



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