Park Bench (Earth-9047)

Superbman
Name	Park Bench
Current Alias	Superbman
Aliases	The last son of Creepton, Superiorman
Affiliation and Relationships
Relatives	Parents: Paw Bench (father); Maw Bench (mother)
Physical Characteristics
Gender	Male
Eyes	Irises: Blue
Hair	Black
Unusual Features	Occasional beard and moustache.
Origin and Living Status
Origin	Alien(?) from Creepton
Living Status	Alive
Reality	Earth-9047
Personal Information
Identity	Secret
Citizenship	American
Occupation	Journalist; superhero
Base of Operations	Metropopolopolis
Creators and Appearances
Creators	John Byrne
First	What The--?! #2 (May, 1988)
First	What The--?! #2 (May, 1988)

History

Superbman, the last son of Creepton sent in a spaceship from his sentenced planet as a child, is a superhero active in the city of Metropopolis, where he fights evil. Some of his arch-enemies include Rex Ruthless, billonaire tycoon, and Metal-toe, almost indestructible due to his metallic form. Superbman protects his identity by disguising himself with glasses and pretending to be Park Bench, a journalist working for the editor Verry Bright. Superbman also kept contact with his parents Paw and Maw Bench, who knew of his secret identity as Park Bench,

Superbman was originally very powerful, but he then took an arrow to… No, I mean, he then changed writer and became less powerful and more human (particularly more of a womanizer). This new writer was in fact John Byrne who made several important changes to him.

Versus the Fantastical Four!

At a certain point, Rex Ruthless staged a plot so that the superhero team Fantastical Four appeared to be bankrupted. Seeing this, Fantastical Four nemesis Dr. Bloom discovered that Park Bench was Superbman (thanks to flawless logical and mathematical reasoning, Polaroids of Bench changing clothes, and the Benches confirming it), so Bloom phoned editor Bright suggesting him to send his journalists, including Bench and his partner Nosey Dame, to cover this piece of news. Bloom expected to see Superbman fighting the Fantastical Four for no good reason, which would support Bloom's goal. Bright indeed sent Bench and Dame.

Superbman gave Dame a lift to the FF's HQ and then left to re-appear later as Bench. Then, the Human Scorch of the Fantastical Four flew over them both, on his way to an encounter with the Spidery-Man Fan Club and, while doing so, the Scorch's heat spoiled Dame's 500$ hair-do. Enraged, Bench threw Dame to an alley and changed clothes to Superbman, strating a fight with the Scorch. Scorch's teammate The Thung appeared and joined the fight, slamming Superbman. The third member of the Four, Inevitable Woman, also joined, but she developed a quick crush on Superbman.

Bloom was watching this from the shadows, but he then met Ruthless. Ruthless convinced Bloom that Superbman could not be Bench, and Bloom left.

Superbman kept seducing the Inevitable Woman and keeping a tight rein on the Scorch and the Thung (respectively turning him out and breaking his body armor). Then, Mr. Fantastical of the Fantastical Four (the Inevitable Woman's husband) appeared, having captured Ruthless and explaining that they were not really bankrupt. Dame kept then that Superbman still had to fight the Fantastical Four because the Scorch had spoiled his hairdo, and Superbman complied.

Versus the Marble Heroes!

Soon afterward, Superbman was still walking around the Marble Universe - while in his secret identity as spectacle-wearing Park Bench, he walked by while the Bulk was around. Superbman then opposed Spidey-Man for the right of being the hero of the beach - but too many other heroes joined that fright.

Later, after the end of that battle, the alien Smilin' Sulatu of the Watcher species intended to reshoot the classic movie Driving Miss Daisy in what he called the Mighty Marble Style. In the movie, the Quasi-Humans wanted a guest start to pair with Medoozy and decided to hold job interviews. Superbman, in his identity as Park Bench, was among the several super-powered beings who queued for the job (you can half-see him after Sore), but he was not chosen.

Dead and Beyond!

Superbman was next seen while rescuing a sinking ocean cruiser: Using his awesome power, Superbman lifted the boat over his head and flew over the ocean. Unfortunately, Superbman disappeared while doing this: The super-villain Thermos was using the Infinity Mitten to obliterate half of the living beings in the universe in an attempt to court Death, and Superbman was one of his victims. Having died, Superbman became a transparent ghost-like figure, visible only to other ghosts. Superbman mistakenly believed that he had been resurrected by third parties.

Dead but not forgotten, Superbman had a weird memorial: Obnoxio the Clown included a mannekin of Superbman in his wax museum of super-heroes. If a button was pressed, the mannekin uttered "I'm the last son of Creepton! And I want my mommy!" Unfortunately for Obnoxio, the super-villains Pup-Pest Master and Dr. Dumb (previously known as Dr. Bloom) unleashed their hi-tech items to give life to the mannekins for their own purposes, and the mannekins started fighting each other. The fake Superbman fought the fake Sore, again talking about Byrne. Obnoxio cleaned the chemical waste of the mannekins, making them lifeless again—including Superbman.

Soon after this event, the Forbush Man died in a battle against the villain Dumsday. Forbush' ghost met with Superbman's ghost, and Superbman tried to cheer the newbie up by suggesting that, in the same way that Superbman had been resurrected, Forbush would probably be resurrected in a nearby future—but not even Superbman believed this.

Attributes

Powers

• Beard: Superbman's beard grows uncontrollably when he is in disguise.
• Flight: Superbman can flight, raising over the floor while holding a lady in his arms, or raising an ocean liner over the sea.
• Invulnerability: Everything inside his double-talk body aura is protected, although this protection is useless if an enemy manages to insert his or her punch inside the aura.
• Super-breath: He can put out the Human Scorch simply by blowing.
• Superhuman Strength: Superbman is strong enough to break the Thung's body armor with one punch, or to raise an ocean liner.
• Other powers: Superbman claims to be able to defeat all the heroes in the Marble universe together, even if he is not watching and keeps his hands to his back while having a hay fever. After he died, he was seen in a ghost-like form, visible by other dead super-characters.
  

Abilities

• Considered the "number one" good guy in all the comic-book field, Superbman has also become a Casanova since the moment he became less powerful.

Weaknesses

• Due to his new writer, Superbman is less powerful that in his previous incarnation.
• Superbman has lost 90% of his audience to Marble.
• Superbman is not invulnerable to the destroying powers of the Infinity Mitten.

Paraphernalia

Equipment

• Superbman has a uniform that can change the triangular logo in his chest, replacing it with two fishes or a dollar sign, for instance. His cloak was supposedly indestructible at a previous time.
• Superbman's pal tend to own an emergency signal device in their watches to call him. Apparently it can be bought at shops and it's used if gangster kidnap you.

Notes

• Superbman is a parody of Superman, a character from DC Comics.

Trivia

• "Comicbook Casualities" in What The--?! #13 mentions a "Superiorman" who happens to be a famous superhero. It is the only mention to Superiorman, and it may be a reference to Superbman using an alias.

See Also

• 7 appearance(s) of Park Bench (Earth-9047)
• 1 mention(s) of Park Bench (Earth-9047)
• 4 image(s) of Park Bench (Earth-9047)