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Revision as of 01:42, 29 January 2016

Quote1 Excuse me, but, uh... I don't have an ending. Quote2
Jonathan Hickman

Appearing in "Sraw Terces"

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Synopsis for "Sraw Terces"

Jonathan Hickman awkwardly concludes his pitch to Marvel about the current Secret Wars storyline, which elicits mixed reactions from his fellow editors and writers. Dan Buckley declares that every writer in Marvel will focus on the event, and orders them to wrap up all current storylines and replace them with Secret Wars tie-ins. Buckley expresses the risks involved with going forward with the storyline, and expects everyone to do their best, but Hickman is nervous as he has not yet formulated an ending for the storyline. Out of anxiety, Hickman pukes in the company's restroom, where Doctor Doom helps him wash up and persuades him to keep him as the major antagonist of the story. Hickman suddenly craves for a hotdog, and offers one to Doom, who denies due to it not fitting in his mouth hole.

Doom advises Hickman to do nothing over the lack of an ending, jokingly saying that Hickman's work will be eventually insignificant, saying "Whatever stories you tell will eventually be replaced by other stories. Or worse, be reimagined or repurposed." Doom ultimately tells him to admit to his bosses, due to the jobs of his fellow writers being on the line, before "annihilating" someone in a Spider-Man outfit for fun. Hickman eventually admits his lack of an ending for Secret Wars to Axel Alonso and Tom Brevoort, who assure him that they believe Hickman could pull it off. If he succeeds, they would do a victory tour; if not, they would distance themselves from him, possibly publicly shame him into doing Secret Wars Too, and eventually fire him. An editor's note later states that Hickman has been fired.

Appearing in "Great Incomprehensibility"

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  • Thor (First appearance)
  • Mysterio (Quentin Beck) (Photo)
  • God Emperor Doom (Victor von Doom) (Photo)
  • Glider-Man
  • Glider-Man's Uncle Glen (Mentioned) (Deceased)
  • Slider-Man (First appearance)
  • Slider-Man's Uncle Sven
  • Health Care Provider-Man (First appearance)
  • Health Care Provider-Man's Uncle Ken (Mentioned) (Deceased)
  • Albert Camus's "The Outsider"-Man (First appearance)
  • Albert Camus's "The Outsider"-Man's Uncle Den (Mentioned)
  • Large Hadron Supercollider-Man (First appearance) (Voice only)
  • Ring-Binder Divider-Man (First appearance) (Voice only)
  • Zack Snyder-Man (First appearance) (Voice only)
  • Tidier-Man (First appearance)
  • Wider-Man (First appearance)
  • Ghost-Rider-Man (First appearance)

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Synopsis for "Great Incomprehensibility"

In Earth-617, Spider-Man witnesses a Thor guard chase after a burglar. Spider-Man's angels of his better angels advise him to stop the burglar, who might kill his Uncle Ben. He simply calls out the burglar, who becomes distracted enough for Thor to subdue the burglar. Spider-Man, under his civilian identity, Peter Parker, arrives home to Uncle Ben and Aunt May, where he discovers an immense amount of cash and jewelry. Suddenly, a vigilante named Glider-Man arrives, who reveals that Uncle Ben had killed and stolen from his Uncle Glen. Uncle Ben and Glider-Man go into a scuffle, but they are interrupted by Slider-Man, who has sandwich powers and accuses Glider-Man's Uncle Glen as a contract killer who murdered his Uncle Sven. Several costumed heroes which rhyme with Spider-Man's name arrive at the house, accusing each preceding hero of their uncles killing their uncles with similar rhyming names. Parker and Aunt May are left to watch as the vigilantes brawl at their house.

Appearing in "Pizza Quest"

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  • Deadpool (Wade Wilson)
  • Devil Dinosaur
  • Pizza Dog

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Synopsis for "Pizza Quest"

  • Synopsis not yet written

Appearing in "Last Days of D-Man"

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Synopsis for "Last Days of D-Man"

  • Synopsis not yet written

Appearing in "#GalHackedTus"

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Synopsis for "#GalHackedTus"

  • Synopsis not yet written

Appearing in "The Bear Without Fear"

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  • Earth-BW00
    • Battleworld
      • Domain XXX (First appearance)
      • Marvel All-Bear (Mentioned)
  • Hell (Mentioned)

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Synopsis for "The Bear Without Fear"

  • Synopsis not yet written

Appearing in "Doom: Behind the Tyranny"

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  • Marvel Comics
    • Marvel Comics Cafeteria

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Synopsis for "Doom: Behind the Tyranny"

  • Synopsis not yet written

Solicit Synopsis

THE BEYONDERS TRY THEIR (SCARY, EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL) HAND AT MARKETING:

• We are Beyond. Dreamers. Destroyers. All of reality our whim. And frankly… we get bored.

• These tales from across the multifarious domains of Battleworld – not of heroism or consequence, but of humor – provide a brief respite from millennia of omnipotence.

• We cannot be comprehended by the miniscule human mind. Turn your attention to this book instead of trying.

• You are welcome.

See Also

Links and References

References