Listen, the numbers don't matter! The numbers are more of a-- a guideline! It's branding! 
Appearing in "Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
- Anti-Arach9
- Ice Queen (Octavia Vermis) (Joins)
- Rose Roché (Joins)
- Aeturnum (Michael Marchand) (Joins)
- Stegron the Dinosaur Man (Vincent Stegron) (Joins)
- Los Espadas Gemelas De Toledo
- Ray (Joins)
- Luis (Joins)
- Brothers Grimm
- Percy Grimes (Joins)
- Barton Grimes (Joins)
- Lady Bullseye (Joins)
- Krazy Goat (Perry P. Parish) (First full appearance) (Joins)
- Damian, King of the Moon Isopods (First appearance; dies)
- All-New Seekers (First appearance)
- Chad O'Nay (First full appearance)
- Fireball
- Jenn & Tonic (First appearance)
- Jenn (First appearance)
- Tonic (First appearance)
- Bruiser (Main story and recap)
Other Characters:
- Chonky
- Avengers (Mentioned)
- Drew and McCabe Private Investigations (Mentioned)
- Veranke (Mentioned)
- God (Yahweh) (Invoked)
- Herbert Wyndham (Mentioned)
- Jeff (Toy)
- Roger Gocking (Named only)
- Pizza Guy
Races and Species:
- Humans
- Human-Dinosaur Hybrids
- Isopods
- Skrulls (Mentioned)
- Human-Kree Hybrids
- Land Sharks (Toy)
Locations:
- Earth
- United States of America
- New York
- New York City
- Manhattan
- Jess's Apartment Building
- Central Park
- Times Square Rainforest Cafe Back Room
- Pecador Bistro
- Hamptons, Long Island (Mentioned)
- Hoboken (Only in flashback)
- Hoboken Cemetery
- Manhattan
- New York City
- New York
- Madripoor (Mentioned)
- Wundagore, Transia (Mentioned)
- United States of America
Vehicles:
- Krazy Goat's Monster Truck (Main story and flashback)
- Spider-Woman's Motorcycle (Destroyed)
Synopsis for "Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen"
In the secret lair of Octavia Vermis, definitely not the back room of the Times Square Rainforest Cafe, she stands with Rose Roché and Aeturnum to welcome their guests to be apart of their new supervillain team-- The Anti-Arach9. Each with a vendetta against Spider-Woman, thus together they can achieve their desired claim to victory. After Octavia invites the attendees to the buffet she prepared, Stegron mentions to Aeturnum that Rebecca would likely disapprove of his being a villain. Aeturnum believes she'll come around citing Rose's "reasoning" of removing Spider-Woman will then convince Rebecca. After Octavia voices a snide remark about teenagers and reason, Stegron reveals to Aeturnum that he originally wanted vengeance on Octavia[1] but now joined out of attraction to her new dino-mutated form.
As Octavia debates with Rose about their membership, she notes Damian, former king of isopod moon beetles before Spider-Woman and Captain Marvel destroyed them[2], and Rose questions if all he'll do is roll up to her. In Central Park, a partly impatient Jessica is being taught Yang style Tai Chi by "Sifu" Lindsay, meant to release her natural energies to help heal her faster. After Gerry dubs Lindsay "Auntie Seafood" much to her chagrin while Jess feels reenergized, Lindsay feels concerned about her since Fisk's big push, Damian finds Jess questioning her return to hero duty. After she hastily stops Gerry from eating a "gross" bug, Damian attack rolls at them. However, he did so into traffic and caused a light traffic jam getting hit by a car, not noteworthy to them as they go to lunch. Stegron updates Octavia, and she removes his name from consideration.
The All-New Seekers set up asking for vengeance on Spider-Woman, but Rose notes her being hired and failing against Spider-Woman before,[3] asking back their deposit. Fireball retorts that she now has backing from Jenn & Tonic, the Mad Contortionist and Demented Surgeon Extraordinaire, as well as Irish Assassin Chad O'Nay. The former pair in search of a nemesis to cement their names. Rose and Aeturnum are flabbergasted by "Jen and Tonic" as some wet bar joke, but allow them to head out and battle Spider-Woman to prove their mettle. At lunch, Lindsay inquires what Jess may do if she won't returning to heroism, Jess thinks about reviving their old detective agency but recalls Lindsay's debt to O'Nay. While Lindsay justifies her actions, Jess apologizes again for leaving her alone at the film set, but Lindsay understands having hated Veranke's hurting Jess years prior.[4] As Lindsay mentions needing to resolve her issue with O'Nay, he arrives with Jenn & Tonic ready to fight, as Jess stands ready to hurt them.
Later, Rose sees no damage on them, as Fireball explains Jess verbally abused them to the point of tears, returning with no results. Stegron comforts Jenn & Tonic, as O'Nay is too humiliated to return to Madripoor and plans to head back to art school. The Brothers Grimm chide fellow sibling villain troupe Los Espadas Gemelas De Toledo, free after escaping prison, for "stealing their act" despite such a matter being common now. Los Espadas swear to have their vengeance on Spider-Woman, but after two exhausting hours in battle return defeated and younger brother Luis having lost his left hand as well. As Aeturnum notes the team name is "Arach-NINE", Ray and Luis count themselves as "one soul" while the Brothers Grimm acknowledge themselves as two, making three slots by Octavia's count.
But Stegron notes the unknown character in the "Krazy Goat" heliotrope purple jacket, identified as Perry P Perish. Explaining he wanted vengeance on Spider-Woman for destroying his monster truck, a final gift from his late wife, when pursuing Bruiser.[3] Uncaring to his backstory, Octavia asks he go at Spider-Woman, but he reveals he already did so as Jess returns home to find her prize motorcycle destroyed. As Krazy Goat eats his lunch, the other villains stare in amazement and grant him membership. Counting eight members technically, Octavia doesn't mind since the name is branding and Stegron notes another two for membership- Bruiser and Lady Bullseye. Considering the two's failed past encounter, Octavia passes on them but Aeturnum persuades Rose to allow it as Bruiser worked on his presentation, but Lady Bullseye downs him growing impatient and is granted membership.
Explaining their arrivals to New York City, Octavia escaped with a pet when High Evolutionary was distracted, while Rose and Aeturnum simply drove from the Hamptons going stir crazy with boredom. Finally called to order, the Anti-Arach9 finally assemble to deliver vengeance upon Spider-Woman. At Jess's apartment, Carol plays with Gerry as Jess prepares a travel bag for Madripoor to settle Lindsay's debt with O'Nay. Jess nudges Rebecca to finally talk to her hero, as Carol voices concern about their trip to Madripoor. Teasing Rebecca for wanting Carol to sign her bulid-a-bear dressed like her, Jess expresses it's a normal part of having family. When Rebecca asks about the pizza order Jess made, Lindsay is stunned she let her considering Jess's topping choices, with a sickened Carol voicing she won't miss her. Arriving at the front door, Jess feels guilty not ordering a pepperoni for the others just as the Anti-Arach9 arrive behind the pizza guy.
Solicit Synopsis
ENTER…THE ANTI-ARACHNINE!
• Spider-Woman has made a lot of enemies in her time…
• …and that's about to come back to bite her in a big way.
• What's worse than a Sinister Six? THE ANTI-ARACHNINE!See Also
Links and References
References
- ↑ Spider-Woman (Vol. 7) #8
- ↑ Spider-Woman (Vol. 7) #6
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Spider-Woman (Vol. 7) #13
- ↑ Secret Invasion (Event)