- Hey, just 'cause sumthin's broke, just 'cause it ain't perfect......don't mean it ain't beautiful. Sometimes all them cracks an' flaws......they tell a story. They give it heart. An' sometimes that makes what ya got......a classic!
- -- Thing
Appearing in "Dis Man, Dis Monster, Disarmed!"
- Alicia Masters
- Alexandros (Only appearance)
- Arlo North
- Invisible Woman (Earth-616)
- Franklin Richards (Earth-616)
- Valeria Richards (Earth-616)
- Earth-6077 (First appearance)
- Alicia Masters
- 130 B.C.
- Modern Age
- Earth-6077 (Only appearance)
Synopsis for "Dis Man, Dis Monster, Disarmed!"
In the year 130 BC on the Isle of Melos, the Thing has broken the arms off the Venus de Milo. Along with him is his former girlfriend Alicia Masters. Calling out to Ben, Alicia trips over a pile of rubble and lands on top of him and the statue. Feeling the statue's arms have been snapped off, Alicia demands to know what Ben has done. Ben begins to think back to how he found himself in this exact moment...
... Earlier, Ben was in modern day New York City telling Sue about his recurring dream wherein he is a prisoner of the Puppet Master and Alicia's new boyfriend Arlo North has been his pawn the whole time. Sue is surprised that Ben is being so cowardly about telling Alicia that he still has feelings for her. She then asks him to baby sit the children while she and Reed attend a simposium, but insists that he must bring Alicia over as well because the last time he watched the kids he took them to the track.
Soon Ben arrives at Alicia's apartment building and has Lockjaw teleport him upstairs. He is about to announce himself with some flowers he got for her birthday, but decides not to give them to Alicia when he enters and sees that Arlo has gotten her a miniature of the Venus de Milo statue. He then tells Alicia that he has a big surprise lined up for her. Taking Alicia out, she has Lockjaw teleport them to France, but when Alicia comments about how the Louvre museum allowed her to feel the Venus de Milo. Ben decides to take things a step further and has Lockjaw teleport them back to the Baxter Building.
There, Ben takes Alicia into Reed's lab where he uses the Time-Platform to travel back in time to ancient Greece. There they come across sculpter Alexandros of Antioch carving a statue of Hercules. When Ben tells her that they are going to see the newly made Venus de Milo, Alicia gets upset with him and reminds him that she is dating Arlo now. Her stern words are overheard by Hercules who sees the Thing and believes him to be a monster. Caught off guard because he forgets that this is the Hercules of the past, centuries before they ever met, Ben is knocked off his feet. As Alicia and the locals watch the fight, Ben knocks Hercules into a bunch of pots of wine. This infuriates Hercules and he lands a blow that send the Thing crashing into Alexandros' statues. Alicia soon realizes, to her horror, that one of the statues is the Venus de Milo...
His recollection over, Ben is still being scolded by Alicia when Hercules approaches them looking to fight some more. However, Alicia convinces him that Ben isn't a monster, but her friend. Convinced of this, Hercules quickly changes his tone and wishes them well before departing. As Ben rights the Venus de Milo, he asks Alicia why they can't be together again, and Alicia points out that there is far too much history between them and that she wants to remain friends. Ben cuts his losses and the two admit that their friendship is one for the classics and use the Time Platform to return home.
Back in their own time, Reed and Sue return from their day out to find Ben, Alicia and the kids sleeping on the couch. As they look at how peaceful they all look, Reed gets a quick look out the window and is shocked to see that history has been changed and all the buildings are of Grecian design. Reed resigns to this fact and tells his wife he'll fix the timeline in the morning.
- It’s Alicia’s birthday and the Thing has the perfect gift for her: a trip to Greece! Scratch that. Too simple. How about a trip to Ancient Greece? Yeah!
- Stretcho wouldn’t mind Ben taking the time machine for a spin, right? And like, what could possibly go wrong?
- Ben states that the year he comes from is the year 2006 AD. Per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 this should be considered a topical reference.
- Alicia states that there is too much history between her and Ben. The pair dated from Fantastic Four #9-Fantastic Four #265 when Ben decided to stay on Battleworld. Per Fantastic Four #358, Alicia was then replaced by the Skrull spy named Lyja. By the time that Lyja had been exposed, she had pursued a relationship with the Human Torch and married him (Fantastic Four #300) and the Thing moved on. Attempts to get back together over the years have failed.
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