- Tell me or I'll put this lollipop in my armpit and then put it in your mouth!
Appearing in "Accounts Overdrawn--Checks Returned for Lack of Funds"
- The Pulverizer (First appearance)
- WKSFRSTSK Distribution
- Unnamed criminals
- The Pulverizer's weapons
- 30.06 double-action Guglielmo reamed free-fire blowback assault rifle with Kirgiz-Pittman deflecter silencer
- 40-odd-7 Belefescue rim-packed sluice-gated close-action revolver with double-hiped Andrews hollow-nose ammo feed
- Hama-grell cinch-bore switchback Magnum with the stoked Yamaha DX-7 flanger
- 3.55 millimeter slip-streamed bit-mapped Callahan-Siegel fieldpiece
- Groth-Thompson overblown scattergun
- 3.5 inch Baron-Williams rocket launcher
- Attachments for the Pulverizer's weapons
Synopsis for "Accounts Overdrawn--Checks Returned for Lack of Funds"
The Pulverizer (a parody of the Punisher) follows a lead through the city, tracking immorally-distributeed stuff while using his incredible weaponry against criminals.
Appearing in "The Armor That Made a Man Out of Mac"
- Unnamed characters
- Ironed Man armor
Synopsis for "The Armor That Made a Man Out of Mac"
Similar to Charles Atlas' advertisements, only the titular Mac instead buys an Iron Man-like armor.
Appearing in "Bower Brats Meet Clunk and Dagnabbit"
- Bower Brats
- Outer space
- The Cookie Crook's cosmic-powered pogo stick
Synopsis for "Bower Brats Meet Clunk and Dagnabbit"
The four Bower siblings obtain powers from an alien starship to fight invaders from outer space, but they instead decided to focus their effort in the abnormal disappearance of chocolate cookies. They start working together with other superheroes, chocolate-themed Clunk and Dagbnabbit.
Appearing in "Yubewasted"
Synopsis for "Yubewasted"
Another weird, fake advertisement based on a fictional martial arts.
Appearing in "When Titans Bunch!"
- Fantastical Four
- Guest Host Offengers
- Alfalfa Flight
- Heather Hudson's Guardian look-alike with Alfalfa's face
- Wanda Lankowksi's Sasquatch look-alike with Alfalfa's face
- Puck look-alike with Alfalfa's face
- Madison Jeffries' Box look-alike with Alfalfa's face
- Black Pantser (First appearance)
- The Inedible Bulk (First appearance)
- Silver Burper (First appearance)
- Spidey-man (First appearance)
- Forbush Man
- Doctor Deranged
- Bower Brats
- Dagnabbit (First appearance)
- Clunk (First appearance)
- Slicksilver (First appearance)
- Brother Hoodoo
- Jercules (First appearance)
- Shroud (First appearance)
- Low Gage
- Franklin Witchards
- Look-alikes of Machine Man, Northstar
- Look-alikes of Daffy Duck, Popeye the Sailor Man, the Three Stooges
- Spider-Ham (Mentioned)
- Big Jack (Mentioned)
- Scarecrow's Crows of Doom
- Puppet Mister (Mentioned)
- Look-alike of the Awesome Android
- The artist
Synopsis for "When Titans Bunch!"
The X-Persons fight the Offengers in a colossal all-out battle that attracts other superheroes.
Appearing in "Secret War III"
- Doctor Doof
- Paste-Pot Pete (Mentioned)
- The Bathroom-monitor (Mentioned)
- Doormammoomoo (Mentioned)
- Lowkey (Mentioned)
- Minuscule Man (Mentioned)
- Kankersore the Conquistador (Mentioned)
- Unnamed villains
- Demeaning Cosmos (Mentioned)
- Santa Claus (Mentioned)
- World Wrestling Federation (Mentioned)
- Luna (Moon)
- Flatveria (Mentioned)
Synopsis for "Secret War III"
From his base on the Moon, the Watchman decides to stage a third Secret War as a counter-feint for DC's mega-cross-overs. But the Watchman has a hard time hiring a villain for this goal.
- The credits in the story Secret War III include "You: The Reader". That same story mentions that the "Digressing Cosmos", a clear reference to DC Comics, "is staging the Legendary Crisis of the Infinite Millenium," later called in the story "Infinite Legends of the Millenium Crisis." This is a reference to then-recent DC crossover events: Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985), Legends (1986-1987) and Millennium (1988); notice that Secret War III was published in 1988.
- The advertisement of "Yubewasted" in page 17 is a parody of a similar advertisement of supposed self-defense technique Yubiwaza that was found in some Marvel issues (e.g. Uncanny X-Men #7, 1964).
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