Appearing in "Wolverine's Secret Weapon"
- X-Men (Jean Grey School's Team)
- Deathlok Prime
- Marvel Girl (Rachel Grey)
- Iceman (Bobby Drake)
- Beast (Hank McCoy)
- Kitty Pryde
- Cannonball (Sam Guthrie)
- Gambit (Remy LeBeau)
- Warbird (Ava'Dara Naganandini)
- Toad (Morty Toynbee)
- Angel (Warren Worthington III)
- Howard the Duck
- Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
- Fin Fang Foom
- Bloodthirsty Robo-Barbarians
- League of Nazi Bowlers
- Deadpool (Wade Wilson)
- Man-Thing (Theodore Sallis)
- She-Hulk (Jen Walters)
- Tigra (Greer Nelson)
Races & Species:
- X-Statix: The Movie Record
Synopsis for "Wolverine's Secret Weapon"
Wolverine and Deathlok are evaluating the staff's latest activities. All of the teachers are overworked and Wolverine has been absent with so much frequency that it is impossible to consider him an effective headmaster. The only teacher whose competence is doubted by Deathlok is Doop, who is sleeping at his desk. Wolverine says that even though he might not look like it, Doop performs a very important function to the school.
Weeks ago, Wolverine found Doop at a nightclub and tried to convince him to join his school. Doop is reluctant, however, and only agrees after making Wolverine perform a series of humiliating activities, such as making an impression of Cyclops with claws stabbed on his face.
In the present, the school holds a staff meeting. The teachers complain that Doop is causing trouble but Wolverine remains confident that he is useful to the school.
When the school was being constructed, Wolverine told Doop that he needed his help to protect the school. Since he had connections to all the wrong places, Doop could find any threat and neutralize it before it could reach the school. Doop's activities would have to be kept under the table, not even the teachers could know what he is up to.
Doop recieves an alert of threat to the school: at a bowling alley, a group of neonazis plans to attack the school. Doop quickly defeats them.
Later, Doop, under a disguise, attends a Westchester County school board meeting. Two board members suggest they should condemn the Jean Grey School, believing it to be a danger to normal students. Doop visits them and convinces them to change their minds about the school. It is implied he had sex with both of them, a man and a woman.
At History class, Kitty teaches the group about the Xavier family journals in 1652. Idie reads the story of how a mysterious green man helped Joshua Xavier defeat a group of men from the future who wanted to kill him and claim his land. As Kitty looks out the window, she sees Doop exhausted and covered in arrows.
After several wacky adventures, the day comes to an end and Doop falls asleep in the hallways. Congratulating Doop on another good job, Wolverine gently places a pillow under him.
- As the world burns, the Jean Grey School tries to continue on.
- One student ends up at the barrel of a gun.