- Bedee-Bedee-Bedee--th-that's all folks! But I'll be back!
- -- Mojo
Appearing in "Performance"
- The X-Men
- Storm (Ororo Munroe)
- Wolverine (Logan)
- Colossus (Peter Rasputin)
- Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
- Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde)
- Magneto (Michael Xavier)
- Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
- Longshot (Joins team)
- Graduated X-Men / The New Mutants (Only appearance as Graduated X-Men)
- Mirage (Dani Moonstar) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Cannonball (Sam Guthrie) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Magik (Illyana Rasputin) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Karma (Shan Coy Manh) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Sunspot (Bobby Da Costa) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Cypher (Doug Ramsey) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Magma (Amara Aquilla) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Wolfsbane (Rahne Sinclair) (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Warlock (Joins team) (Leaves team)
- Arne & other unnamed New York policemen (Only appearance)
- Queen Greensong
- Walter, Weezie, Carrie, Alfy & other unnamed New Yorkers (Only appearance)
- Unnamed citizens of Mojoverse
Races and Species:
- New York
- Body Shop
Synopsis for "Performance"
The X-Men are playing a unique style of tag in the Danger Room, trying to get one of them to 'touch' the master of magnetism, Magneto, but they fail. Cypher, Betsy, and Sunspot are watching from the control room. This necessarily means that Mojo is also watching. Mojo decides he needs to increase ratings, so he sends in Longshot and a blast of ectoplasmic goop directly into their danger room session. Longshot is unconscious, clearly not human (he has two heartbeats, and three fingers on each hand), and is taken to the medical lab. The goop disappears before it can be analyzed. The X-Men go to bed.
In the morning it quickly becomes apparent to the New Mutants (but not the X-Men themselves) that the X-Men are getting younger. The female X-Men mostly fall in love with Longshot, while Warlock and Cypher do some investigating in the Danger Room. Betsy figures out who the bad guy is, and Magneto and the X-Men leave to find him, getting younger and more childish all the time, knocking out the New Mutants when they try to stop them (Warlock and Cypher also figure out who's responsible on their own).
The X-Men drive the X-Mansion's Rolls Royce to Central Park, and when they hop out the older X-Men are about the size of 6-year-olds, while Kitty is not much more than a baby. Magneto helps them escape New York police, and they run off through the park. Storm heads off on her own, and the rest follow her to a building, where she's already picked the lock before they got there. Then they find Mojo and are all too eager to listen to him.
Back at the Mansion, Lockheed wakes Dani up, just in time to answer the door. It's the police, reporting that the car is in Central Park. Later after all the New Mutants are up, they resolve to go after the X-Men. Dani gives them all their graduation costumes, and Illyana tries to teleport them to Central Park... except they end up on-stage in a theater thanks to Spiral. There, the rapidly aging X-Men attack the New Mutants. The battle occurs, with the audience captive thanks to Spiral's magic, and the X-Men are winning! But, starting with Rogue, whose use of her power reveals that something is wrong when her thoughts and others' memories of her don't match, the X-Men are slowly released from Mojo's control. The X-Men and New Mutants turn their attacks on Mojo, doing some damage, but he teleports away before he can be seriously injured. They do capture Spiral, however, who undoes many of the effects of the battle.
And Mojo, off in the Wildways, smiles as the approval rating of his X-Men show goes through the roof.
- This issue's cover is an homage to that of Giant-Size X-Men #1 (May 1975).
- According to Marvel Comics' Essential Series, this issue was published between Uncanny X-Men #213 and Uncanny X-Men #214. Continuity-wise, this causes some issues as this issue was published in the aftermath of the Mutant Massacre event. During that event Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, and Colossus were all seriously injured, and Psylocke joined the team. Most notably of all, Longshot was absent during the entire Mutant Massacre event and first appears in the regular Uncanny X-Men Series in issue #214. Suffice to say, this story likely takes place before the Mutant Massacre event, even though Longshot does not make an appearance in that storyline.
- This story will be reprinted in the trade X-Men: Ghosts.
- First and only known appearance to date besides flashbacks
- See notes
- Mojo restored Betsy Braddock's sight by replacing her eyes with cybernetics - cybernetics which contain mini-video cameras - revealed in New Mutants Annual #2. Betsy lost her sight during the events of Captain Britain (Vol. 2) #13 and 14.
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